Wednesday, January 9, 2013

Long Term Respite Situation

Here an adoptive Mom shares her journey.

"I am the mother of a 12 year old girl adopted from Russia at age 6.  The six years I have had her have been challenging, and I am at the point where I feel as though long term respite is in the best interests of the entire family.  Her adoptive father and I divorced and he hasn't seen her in the past three years.  He has signed away his rights.

She has had numerous stays in a local psychiatric facility, but insurance is no longer willing to pay for residential stays because they say she is "chronic" and not responding to therapy.  She completed a longer term residential stay from June to November 2011 in San Marcos, Texas. She responded well to their Behavior Enhancement program, but in the past three to six months, her behaviors have again declined to being agitated, defiant and disruptive on a nearly constant basis.  With insurance unwilling to cover residential treatment, I am seeking other options.  I believe placement with another family may benefit her, as well as giving the family a break to reevaluate and figure out where we go from here.

I have two other children - her 14 year old brother also adopted from Russia, and a biological 6 year old.  Her disruptions are very difficult on the boys as well.  The behaviors she exhibits are typically along the lines of yelling, kicking, hitting, profanity, just generally disrupting and defying.  She has no history of acting out sexually, and no known history of sexual abuse.

I am willing to pay a stipend for living expenses. Due to numerous medical bills, I am unable to pay a large stipend, but could pay around $200-$300/month, plus medical expenses.  I am not looking for a set time of respite, but would anticipate a period of a few months, then reevaluation to see how thing are going.  My hope is that she will be able to be reunited with our family at some point.  I have not fully ruled out the possibility of disruption, but at this point I am still optimistic that she will be able to come home.  I am willing to consider disruption and permanent placement with a new family if that seems to be in everyone's best interest.

We live in Colorado, but I am willing to have her with a family out-of-state if it is a good fit.  I would like to maintain contact with her regularly, and also have her remain in touch with her brothers.  She is currently in 5th grade with an IEP.  She is in a regular classroom with pull-out special education services.  She enjoys school, is happy to do homework, and has only very mild behavior challenges at school."

If you are interested in learning more about this child and would like to help please email me at  The Mom has asked that I forward emails to her.


  1. That mom is in a very hard place and I hope someone steps up soon. Perhaps someone with much older children who wouldn't be affected by it.

  2. Please pass along my email address if this mom is at all interested in finding out about a Christian Non-Profit Care Facility that she could afford. They work only with adopted children, primarily those with RAD. They have quite a few girls from Russia or Ukraine. My 11 year old daughter (from Africa) has been there for 6 months and we are very pleased with the facility and its staff.


  3. Hi! This is a sad situation.I hear life situations like this quite often.The insurance co. will not pay for needed long term behavorial respite care the child needs. The family has drained all their reserve funds just trying to pay for services before respite care.The countries no longer have money to pay for community based mental health services.I am wondering if this family has ever contacted a private attorney who specialize in educational law. Sometimes school districts will pay for residential care for a child especially if the child is a threat to the safety of other children at school- the child stating they will kill other students or bomb the school etc.If I can be of help have her contact me.Pat

  4. Pat, the mom's note states the girl both likes school and gets along pretty well there. It seems as though this poor family needs a break, or respite time, in their relationship.


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