Sunday, January 6, 2013

Learning to Understand

This weekend flew by.  It started with work out in the yard.  Surprisingly, Dennis was one of our big helpers-- probably because he was wearing his new boots that needed to get dirty in order to be really cool boots.  Later in the day, John took him and few of the other hard workers to Rite Aid for ice-cream.

At church today, I got a nice surprise.  We were sitting in the bleachers with Andrew right behind me.  He gave me a nice little back rub and played with my hair.  It melted my heart how sweet he was being, and boy did it feel good.

After wondering all this time why Nolan was missing his eyelashes on one eyelid, I figured it out.  No it is not part of his EEC Syndrome like I first thought.  It is from him pulling them out.  When I first saw it, I could hardly believe it.  He does it when he is in bed-- my guess is that it is an orphanage behavior that he learned to self soothe.  I told him the best way I could that it is not good for him to do that and now he wears socks on his hands to bed.  We'll see how that goes.

Anastasia has elevated cholesterol levels and the doctor instructed us to have her eat less oily foods.  Try explaining that to a child who has only been in America 2 1/2 years.  She acts like she understands what I am saying, but she really doesn't.   Yes, she understands a lot of what I am saying, but she cannot put everything in the right context.  She shakes her head yes, and she says a few right things, but she shows me in so many little ways that she just doesn't get it yet. She takes the word oil literally.  So she piled three huge dollops of sour cream on her salad before I could stop her.  After all, sour cream is not oil.  And then she thought she couldn't eat the turkey chili because she saw me strain the juices which contains oil after I fried it up.  Then she thinks she can eat tons of rice because it is not oil yet it was fried in butter.  Thankfully, she asks for guidance as she is learning and I can see that this will only help our bonding, but for now I secretly find it cute.  After 2 1/2 years, she has come so far and yet she still has so much to learn.

Dennis blew me away yesterday by reciting the latest memory verse for BSF.  He is very serious about getting his study done which includes learning the verse.  He is such a smart boy!

The finger painting with poo incident has been an isolated event so far.  I had hesitated to make that assumption since my same son had finger painted with his boogers in the same spot.  Both times we had him clean it all up by himself and then he had to stand in the corner.

As for the bottle of pee incident, I am so glad that it was not anything like I was thinking.  Shame on me for first thinking that it had to be adoption related.  Shame. on. me.  Because it wasn't.  I think I needed this incident to remind me that all kids do crazy things.  Kids will be kids.  Turns out that my son had a water bottle in his bed and he had to go to the bathroom.  But it was cold and he didn't want to get up so he drank the rest of the water and then relieved himself.  Later he threw it in the trash along with some underwear that he was embarrassed to throw into the dirty clothes.  That bag of  trash ended up in the garage because the child taking it out was too lazy to walk it all the way to the cans outside.  Period.  End of story.  I am so thankful that the explanation was not more complicated.

Thanks for your pee and poo comments the other day.  Growing up my family only had one bathroom so while my sister was on the toilet first thing in the morning I would sit over the edge of the bathtub and pee.  I guess we all have our pee and poo stories.

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

For what its worth. My daughter was adopted as a baby, but she rubbed her eyelashes for quite a while. I think she would have eventually started pulling them when she got the coordination (if she hadn't been adopted). She did it more if I seemed to notice it. sigh. I tried holding her hands gently during nigh time routine to break up the habit. She was too young to reason with and it eventually went away by the time she was old enough to communicate. I'm glad you found the reason the lashes are gone. :-) take care.

cara said...

My younger sister (not adopted) always pulled her. Eyelashes until she was old enough to want to wear mascara. She stopped doing it immediately then. It drove my mother nuts! I thinkshe did it when she was tired. Cara

Suzanne said...

Eyelash pulling is a condition called trichotillomania. You are correct in thinking it is a self-soothing behaviour, but it is often more neurologically based than we realize. In young children it is generally transient and passes with time, but simply telling him it doesn't look nice will shame him and make the pulling worse. (I've had the condition since I was 15, and I'm 38 now, so I assure you it is difficult to manage).

As I said, in children can fade away, but if it persists, generally medication is the option for treatment. It is not uncommon in children with trauma at all.

Anonymous said...

I came to mention trichotillomania, but Suzanne beat me to it!

Again, hopefully it'll fade, but it's an anxiety/self-soothing behavior, so any shaming will increase it.

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, if it gets worse (pulling eyebrows, head hair, body hair, pubic hair in the future), is another option, and from what I understand, works well alongside meds.

Anonymous said...

Hello dear Christine!
About Anastasia and cholesterol.
Try to give her omega-3 capsules (fish oil) for about 1,5 month and check the blood. I use Kenay Krill Oil but it can be any good fish oil.

Try her to eat more vegetables/fruits (not cooked) or make her interested into the "raw food" dieta. There is also a very good movie "Food Matters".

Always Your blogger.
ma, Poland :)

Anonymous said...

Cuz: Keep in mind that cholesterol is largely hereditary. Look at Uncle Willie. He was the outward appearance of good health: ate right, exercised, etc. and still had his open heart in his 40's. Ditto for Deda Desatoff. And on the flip side, look at Deda Volkoff: ate red meat and lamb wholesale, smoked two packs of cigs a day until he was well into his 70's. And he didn't have his stroke until after he sold the farm and found himself with nothing to do. I'm not saying you should do nothing with her, just saying to not beat yourself up if you can't get it down to where "you'd like it to be". There's usually a lot more to health than just whatever that number says. Same thing with Jenn. She's watching her diet, been taking all sorts of supplements and prescriptions over the years and that number just refuses to drop.

Hang in there.

Cousin Matt

SolaceMama said...

^^Yes, and Sugar consumption actually has a greater impact on lab value cholsterol levels than eating "fatty foods".

David&Monica said...

hi christine! i wouldnt rule out demodex (eye mites), an eye doctor can check. it is more common than we want to think. best of luck sweetie, might be good to rule out before concluding it to be a behavior.