Thursday, October 4, 2012

Happy Birthday

Good morning Paul.
And good morning to Nolan.  Is his smile not the cutest?  Today he took nearly 40 minutes to eat his oatmeal.  I finally let him down without finishing it all.  This is not like him.  I guess he doesn't like maple brown sugar.  He gobbled up his grapes though!
And he takes his medicine like a champ!
William loves this pogo stick.  It is Jonny's but Jonny lets everyone borrow it.  William takes breaks every hour to go out and jump.  For the most part I think it is a great thing.  Except for when he bounces into the house or tries to jump onto something like the brick wall or the glass table.
Today is my Mom's brithday!
Happy birthday Mom!  We made a nice dinner for her and Sveta made this delicious cake.  It is the same one we made for Jonny's birthday.  Someone asked for the recipe.  It is ridiculously easy.  All she did was make a box chocolate cake, frost it with 1/2 a can of white frosting, and top it with a sleeve of crushed Oreo cookies.  The key to a great cake is to not over bake it.  It was fantastic!

Here I am with my Mom and favorite Aunt Tanya.  They were going to leave after dinner but we talked them into spending the night.  Actually the girls gave them long foot massages which made it too late for them to drive home. :)
Aren't we a gorgeous bunch?


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This morning as Julia walked Alex and Dennis out to the bus that picks the boys up right in front of our driveway, she told Alex not to step in the water in the gutter.  The bus driver told Alex the same thing.  And what does Alex do?  He pauses his foot midair for a few seconds and then steps in the water.
So frustrating.  I guess the natural consequence is for him to go to school with a wet foot.  It is sad that he chooses to do the opposite of what he is told, and I can choose to let it bother me.  But I do have to pick my battles.  We all do.  When he got home after school, I asked him about stepping in the water.  His answer was that he just wanted to step in the water.  I told him that was a poor choice since he was told not too and that because he wanted to not listen he would have an earlier bedtime compared to little boys who want to do what they are told.  End of story.  I found this is the simplest way to handle everyday situations like these, and trust me, there are many.  Over time he has come to recognize that disobeying, lying, hitting, and overall poor choices lead to earlier bedtimes, and less freedom.  He needs to be watched a little more, boundaries need to be smaller, until he can show us that he can be trusted to do what he knows is right and what he is told.  I always remind him of the good choices he has made so I know he is capable.
That usually brings a big smile to his face-- what child does not love praise-- and gets him to follow up with better behavior.
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On another note--
I'm so excited!  Tomorrow is Friday!

6 comments:

  1. Christine,

    I feel your pain. Mia is my only child that can be outright defiant. It usually happens when she is tired, which can be often because she fights sleep!

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  2. We also have resorted to "natural consequences" with our 7 yr old son. He has severe ADHD/ODD and at times just does what he wants. Sometimes he swipes at his sister and she moves and he falls....sometimes he is fighting over a toy and it gets broke...the same with our neuro typical daughter who is almost 5....She goofs around in bathroom at bedtimes..spraying water....laughing....not brushing teeth. Story time is held in her room and we just start without her after reminding her to stay on task.

    In our house the kids don't have say video games or a fave toy. We are outside alot (don't think taking away outdoor time is a good thing in his case)..we do most things as a family and him staying home from say Dairy Queen would disrupt the families time together.

    He doesn't sleep well...we always said that food, toileting and sleep would never be used as punishments...Going to bed early should be seen in OUR house as an opportunity for more rest...not a punishment. Plus if the offense took place in say the am.....an early bedtime really is way to far off to do any kind of changing in future behaviors...esp if caused by defiance or impulsivity..that has been ours and our Dr recommendation

    Liz

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  3. In our house an early bedtime is a consequence. My reasoning is that they must be tired to make such poor choices. Sometimes when I see a child heading towards an early bedtime I will ask them if they are tired, that will stop them many times unless they are in fact tired and can't stop themselves.

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  4. I think each parent has to do what works for their family. Right now I've found nothing that works for the total disruptive behavior the twins are having in music, PE and art. The school won't let them miss those activities and by time they get home for me to deal with it, it's over and they've won at school. I really need the school to find some way to deal with it at the time since it's happening there. Stuff at home usually results in a loss of evening privileges--Wii or DVD. We have one that has been taking sibling's special treats after snarfing down her own. She has to do their jobs for a designated amount of time to pay it back. Praise seems to backfire for the twins. It makes them feel entitled and they become aggressive. After people told Kaleb what a fast runner he was, he attacked another player at soccer because he felt empowered!!! Sorry, I'm rambling. Behaviors and discipline have been on my mind a lot lately and I don't have any great answers.

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  5. Love your mom's hairstyle. It looks great on her.

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  6. Hi!I am glad that your children can have fun with their family members and just do fun things and relax. Pat

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I find your comments so inspiring! Thanks for visiting our family blog, and sharing your thoughts.