Monday, August 20, 2012

A Smiles and Trials Blog Post

Hmm, this blog post is going to be a true Smiles and Trials post if I have ever seen one. It has been one of those days.  Let's start with the great stuff.
One of my favorite boys turned 12 today.  What a gorgeous face my sweet Paul has.  Though we are having a big party for him this weekend to celebrate his and Caleb's birthday, we did do cake and presents tonight.
He had no trouble blowing out his candles.
He saw this mini longboard at Costco when we were out shopping, so I went back and bought it a few days later.  Even though Alex had walked in the door from that shopping trip telling everyone about the new skateboard I bought, Paul was genuinely surprised to open his gift tonight.   Too bad one brother was so jealous that he had very little nice to say at first.  
Happy birthday Paul!  We are blessed to have you as a son!
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Alex and Dennis managed to get up for school this morning without waking up Nolan.  This is no small feat for either of them.  Little did I know that Nolan's fever made it a bit easier for him to continue sleeping through the commotion.  It was only when he came down to breakfast and refused to eat so I sent him to lay down on the couch that I noticed he was burning up.  Poor guy.  I'm positive it didn't help that I gave him a multi-purpose cold medicine on accident that contained only a little bit of fever reducer.  My eyes only read  acetaminophen on the bottle.  When I noticed his fever was not coming down enough I checked the bottle and saw that it wasn't what I thought.  Whoops!  So glad I read more closely and praising God that my whoops wasn't a bigger deal.  This time I gave him Motrin and read the bottle three times!
Nolan has been very sweet today letting me take care of him.  Towards the evening I had to give him a cool bath to bring down his fever because the wet washcloth wasn't cutting it.  He had the shivers for a while, but his fever came down.
As I watched Nolan throughout the day, in the back of my mind I kept thinking about his pre-op this coming Wednesday.  I doubt they would give the okay for surgery next week.  Then I got a call from the office telling me that the hospital that I want to have the surgery at will not admit a child overnight under the age of four.  So we rescheduled the surgery for October right after his 4th birthday.  He should be good to go by then.
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Lately we have had some issues with lying.  Dennis came home saying that he bought hot lunch because he forgot his lunch at home.  As soon as he saw me ask Rachel if she put his lunch in his back pack this morning he looked at me and apologized for not telling the truth and buying hot lunch when he wasn't supposed to.  That was easy enough.
Then one of our daughters put on a movie in my room without permission when I left with a few girls to the grocery store and then lied about it saying that it probably was Dad who put the movie on when he came home briefly from work to get something.  "So let me get this straight," I told her.  "You walked into my room to find the movie already on and even though you know you do not have permission to be in my room watching a movie that you haven't gotten approval for, you laid down on my bed and watched the movie until a sister came in and told you to turn it off because you shouldn't be in my room."  I must admit, she almost had me there for a moment even though I knew it was her and could only be her.  What really got me was that even when I explained to her that by process of elimination and past behaviors she was the only logical person it could be, she still denied it.  I had her sit at the kitchen table while I made dinner.  Nothing more, nothing less.
She knew my sadness and eventually the guilt got the best of her.  Literally.  She asked to help with dinner.  I accepted.  After a while, she confessed over frying chicken.  Another praise although John and I wonder why the apology came right before she knew he was coming home.  Hopefully it was just a coincidence.
Still, she is grounded from computer and movies.  I told her that her grounding would have been less had she been honest with me from the beginning. Yes, there would have been a little trouble for going into my room and putting on a movie without permission, but nothing compared to her lying over and over about it later.
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Then there is the nail polish incident.  Ever since the girls knocked over a whole bottle of bright orange nail polish back at our old house, I have insisted that the girls paint their nails in the garage or outside.  They all know this rule.  Who knows what was going through two of my daughters heads when they decided to paint their nails on their desks and in the bathroom today.  Needless to say, the polish has been confiscated and they are no longer allowed to paint their nails until further notice.
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 Home school has officially begun.  We started at 7am and the kids worked straight through till 10:30am.  And then they were done.  I was shocked at how well they worked today.  It probably helped that many of them did a lot their school work last night.  Hey-- whatever works!  

22 comments:

  1. How many (and which ones) are you homeschooling, and who is going to school?

    Just curious . . .

    I am down to only 4 kids at home, and can't imagine how "easy" homeschooling these 4 is going to be. It's been 23 years since I've "only" had 4 kids at home. We are about to start our 22nd year of homeschooling. What a blessing and privilege it is.

    Laurel :)

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  2. Happy Birthday Paul...love your skateboard, we call them Penny boards and my boys love them.

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  3. I never understand why kids lie about stuff that's so easy to check. Mine take their lunch but one will eat it on the bus and tell the lunch ladies she didn't have a lunch. Thankfully they caught on to her last year but I'm hoping it doesn't repeat this year. I tell them that their own policy is no charging lunch so do not send me a bill for lunches they let her charge!! They wanted me to pay for 12 lunches x 2.50 last year!!! I did not.

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  4. Curious how long the grounding will last? I have a tendency to over-react and thus impose excessive duration groundings ...

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  5. Magic eraser for the nail polish... if nothing else works. Have a great day! ~Janet

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  6. I agree with your choices about punishment..we have a son with some spec needs and he at times goes on very long "lying spress"..i mean seriously obvious one.."Ok son did you have an accident?" NO.."ok , I smell BM..just let me know and we can clean you up.." son: "nope must be (insert baby, sister, 2 yr old etc..even though they are outside) I calmly say that lying will get him in trouble and that the accident although disappointing (as we asked him to try 100 times prior and he refused)..and he still lies..until eventually he yells and screams and says "fine I did" then when I try to discuss in a calmer time he says he didn't want me to get mad. I ask if I have ever gotten mad when he tells the truth about accidents...and he says "no"... go figure that one..in his case i think he doesnt want to stop what he is doing to clean up..

    liz

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  7. Lying is a big one in our house too.
    Makes me so sad when kids chose to go this route.
    Sounds like you handled it well. I have a tendency to take it personal.
    Happy Birthday to Paul! I love him and Anastasia. If they are missing one day they are probably with us in Texas. Hee hee. You know I am kidding. But seriously, they are adorable. :-)

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  8. The lying is very frustrating - especially when you start to second-guess what the truth is. Trust your initial instincts, they're probably right.

    We've had the nail polish situation and the hot lunch sneakiness and the sneaking into my room to help themselves to a movie and the sibling who was not so nice to their sibling on their birthday deal too. I hope that wasn't all in the same day for you - it gets discouraging. I wish I could say it's all normal, childish behavior - but I don't want to minimize your concerns and I think only a portion of it can be construed as such. There is a depth to the sneaking that goes beyond "typical". Apologizing is always good, but sometimes I wonder when they'rllstart asking permission instead of taking liberties and then asking forgiveness.

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  9. Christine,

    I've been here for the last two of your children coming into your family. Are all of your children adopted? From the same country? Different countries? Have you always adopted younger children?

    Thanks in advance,
    Mrs Kish
    St. Paul, MN

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  10. Chirstine, I have been gone for over a month to a plce with no TV and no internet...so gald to be back and see how you and your family are doing!! I am trying to read a bit everyday and catch up!! Just wanted to let you know about my absence and why and that I am back and gald to see evryone seems to be doing sooooo well!!!!! Esp. Nolan and Oliver!

    HUgs!!! Gina/Rita

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  11. OH and Happy Birthday PAUL!!!!!!!!

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  12. Laurel, I am homeschooling all the girls plus Paul and William this year. That makes nine.

    I think I can. I think I can. :)

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  13. Peta yes-- they are called penny boards. I just forgot the name. ;)

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  14. Kathy C. I will have to talk to the school about the kids not being allowed to charge their lunch. They take one every day except for a special occasion and then I give them money to buy.

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  15. Julie, I have a tendency to overreact too. The grounding is usually a week to a month but the kids can get is shortened if they show a true changed heart. If they keep gettingin trouble for the same thing and have an attitude, the grounding can go on longer. Really it is all about the heart. A repentant heart will do the time with a good attitude because they know the consequence is fair.

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  16. Mrs Kish, We have adopted nine children. Some from Russia, some from Ukraine, and a few from here from other adoptive families that dissolved their adoption. The kids ranged in age from 1-12 years of age at time of adoption.

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  17. Happy Birthday, Paul!

    Lying was, and still is, my biggest frustration in parenting my kids. Even now my 2 adult daughters will lie to me when the truth would serve them better.

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  18. Hi!Lying can be a very serious situation.If a child lies about a movie will they lie about more serious situations? Sometimes lying has some deep rooted issues that you may not have known about.Beware!You are a great mother but sometimes children who were adopted when older may have past issues surface when they are in a warm and loving. Pat

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  19. Hi!
    I was channel surfing last night and there YOU were! I pointed at the TV sputtering "I know her". lol I didn't see the beginning of the show but what I did see was done very well. It was fun to hear your voices and see the kids a few years ago.

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  20. True Smiles is very nice blog which gives everyone smile.I have read many blogs about true smile on the net but have never come across such a well written blog. Good work keep it up

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