A fellow adoptive family emailed me-- desperate for help. Here is what they asked me to share.
Sometimes plans don't unfold the way we'd planned for them to despite all of the best intentions and planning on our part. Such is the case for one family who has found themselves in need of finding a new committed family for their 10 year old son, home for 15 months from Russia, "V". This is incredibly humbling for the family after working so hard for five long years to bring "V" home. Unfortunately, due to many circumstances not related to "V", these parents have found themselves in the middle of a divorce. Obviously this is a very stressful and painful time for the whole family. Young "V" is in need of therapeutic parenting from both parents.
"V" has many endearing qualities. He likes being outside, and is playing his third season of soccer. He likes to do chores and "help" around the house. He loves to be silly and laugh. He will sit and color and draw for hours. He is very curious and really likes music and singing. "V" did not have any formal education during his time in his birth country and so understandably, he is delayed educationally. He is currently in the 3rd grade. He is suspected to have attention deficit hyperactivity disorder and may also have reactive attachment disorder as well as possible fetal alcohol effects. Sadly, "V" has experienced some sexual abuse while in the institution and has acted out on his younger brothers in his new family.
"V" needs a committed family who understands the effects of childhood abuse and institutionalization as well as the effects of possible fetal alcohol effects and reactive attachment disorder. He is still young enough to get the help he so desperately needs in order to heal from the tough life he's had thus far and go on to lead a healthy life. He will heal best in a family where he is the youngest child or in which there are no other children. "V" is not a bad boy; he is a boy who has been wounded in his short life and he deserves a family that can meet his needs and help him to heal and grow and become all that God has intended for him to be. Sadly, his current family is not in a place to be able to meet his needs and also meet the other needs within the family as the dynamics have changed dramatically. They hope to find a family with older children or without children currently in the home who are of a Christian background where "V" will be exposed to the gospel message and be able to be involved in a local church.
This is not a decision that has been made hastily or without much pain, so please refrain from leaving any negative or judgmental comments. This family's goal is to find an appropriate family for "V" so he can begin to heal and grow into the young man he was meant to become. It takes a great deal of courage to admit it when they no longer have the resources to continue something they began. There was no way to know how things were going to unfold when this adoption journey began.
If you are interested in being considered as a potential family for "V" please contact the family at firstname.lastname@example.org and please introduce yourself and your reason for interest in potentially adopting "V".
Thank you. Prayers for "V" and his current family are welcomed as they walk through this very difficult season.