Wednesday, March 21, 2012

What Would You Do?

Dennis had his blood test today. 
He kept asking what the doctor was going to do and I lied to him.
I told Dennis that the doctor was going to test for allergies.
Technically it wasn't a doctor and technically I could have said shot or blood draw but I wanted to spare everyone from hearing loss-- so I lied like a bad Mommy.
(What would you have done?)

Today we have some friends coming to visit for a few days.  My friend Sherri and her 3 girls will be here  this evening.  Her 7 boys are at home with Dad.  I am so excited!  And so are the girls!
I even splurged and bought caramel coffee creamer since we will be up late!
Oooooo, girl fun!

Adam and Caleb were hired to do some work for a guy from church. 
What a nice opportunity to make some extra money this Spring break.

You can check out our adoption blog for another update.


14 comments:

  1. I would have lied. But next time when he says "Am I getting a shot?" then I would have to say yes. I'd also break the bank for a reward if he doesn't scream until the needle pokes him.( He's allowed to scream then and you could even practice at home.) After one scream he stops and gets some amazing wonderful thing or treat to eat. I was terrified of shots as a child. I would hide on the car floor when we drove past the Dr.'s office, and stay awake at night worrying about shots. Being allowed that one scream and getting a reward was good for me.

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  2. I must totally be misunderstanding but that doesn't sound like a lie to me. How was he afterwards?

    You are such a good mom. I love reading your blog and look forward to how God is going to continue using you to bless His children.

    Sometimes allergy testing comes back super fast. I know my daughter's did. Unfortunately hers was negative, leaving us with no fabulous explanation for her constant barfing other than her syndrome.

    I hope they find a good reason for Dennis' skin issues. They look MISERABLE. Poor baby.

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  3. I think if I knew they were going to draw blood, I would have role played what was going to happen to make it less scary...
    And then I would have explained why they are doing the testing.
    But overall, you covered it. They are going to test. I don't think you lied, you just didn't disclose all the info. :)

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  4. I've always told my girls in detail what's going to happen to them. If they ask me if it will hurt I say yes, but not too badly and remind them of why the blood draw is needed: so the doctor can learn how to make them better. We "practice" the steps. Like for a finger poke, pretended to wipe it, then poke "owie owie owie" then squeeze, then bandaid and good job.

    None of my girls I have prepared like this ever cry for blood draws or shots. They know I'll tell them if it will hurt and how bad so they aren't surprised and they can know what to expect and trust me. If I lied about it hurting a little, then maybe something else is coming I didn't tell them about that would hurt a lot. The only girl I have difficulty with is my two year old with epilepsy and dev delays who's had MANY painful medical procedures since she was 4 weeks old. There's not much I can do at this point to reassure her about blood draws, though she no longer screams at stethoscopes!

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  5. I tried the truthful route once with my oldest and actually regretted it. The anticipation caused her to have a much worse reaction I believe. I don't think you really lied either. I try to be vague if I know the truth will really scare them.

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  6. Christine, I have to say I would have probably told the truth....Just cuz that is the way I am....

    But I hear you on not wanting to hear the deafening crying...my 4 yr old has a cry that could wake the dead and then some.

    But I tell the truth so that when it is NOT for a shot, she will believe me.

    In any case, we all do this sometimes...

    Hope you had a great girls nite!!!!

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  7. I don't lie. I do wait until a few days prior (depending on the child) to explain in age-appropriate detail what will happen.

    For example:

    "Next week, we will be going to the doctor to find out if allergies are causing your eczema."

    If child asks "how do they do that?", I would say "I will find out and we'll talk about it".

    Then, a few days prior, I would expalin that the doctor will do a blood test to find out if he has any allergies. I'll say it will hurt a little bit and feel like a pinch. You can squeeze my hand, hug me tight, or yell if you need to. You cannot fight or kick because that will make it harder to do the blood test."

    We would then role play if needed.

    Kristin

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  8. I always explain everything that will happen in detail. I have a daughter who gets blood work every 6 weeks. Now she knows what will happen, but when she was younger I would tell her. I just felt that it would be better than lying. I have never had any of my children react negatively with this approach. They usually sit very still. They do cry sometimes and I tell them that it's ok to cry. Also for me, I have to have blood work frequently and so I will take my kids, and it also helps them to see that mommy is ok, so Imwill be ok. I also tell them what will happen even if they do not ask. With that being said, I do not think your approach was bad. Every parent is different and every child is different!

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  9. I have to admit, I would tell him the truth. Whenever Dorian has to go in to get tests, etc. I've found it just easier to tell him what to expect ahead of time and deal with the tears . . . because later when I tell him that nothing is going to happen, he knows I'm telling the truth and will stay calm, rather than flip out because it's the hospital or doctor and he doesn't really know what is going to happen.
    That being said, Dorian is also very aware of his health issues and understands when we explain how the blood test or enema, etc. will help him.

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  10. I also take the approach of explaining things in detail and sometimes practicing some of it, if I think it will help them understand it better. So far that has always worked well with my two sons (both from Russia, both now 6 years old).

    That being said, I think it may depend on the child. My nephew use to really lose sleep over an upcoming shot. He would really agonize over it and make himself miserable, well before the event, if she told him too far ahead of time. I think you know your child and we all do what we think is best for our children.

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  11. Since you ask; no, I would have told the truth. But that's because my 6 year old with huge medical anxieties and phobias is better (despite the screaming) if she knows in advance. We have a play specialist who has a doll with various holes for catheters, cannulas, you name it, the dool gets it. And she gets to play with the doll, to go through things with the doll, and to prepare herself as much as she can. We also go through the order in which things are going to happen and she has an element of control - "magic cream" (EMLA or Ametopp) or Freeze spray? which vial first? Watch or have someone read a book facing the other way? Which arm to try first? And finally, plaster or tape and cotton wool then which sticker and what snack?

    Yes, I get very tired of hearing all about it, and I hate the screaming in the bus on the way in. But I like the trust she has in me, the fact that we are building up the Mummy Doesn't Lie truth in her heart, and honestly, she does seem to recover faster from it even if the prep is worse.

    Of course the hospital helps too - they know to send out the play specialist, they know that once we are there, they don't say we'll be there in a minute unless they actually will be, and they don't ever leave us in the treatment room having been called away - once we're in there we get it done.

    But - that's me with my child. Only you can make these decisions for your child and I'm sure you did what was right for D, for you, and for the rest of your family at the time.

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  12. There is something, I think it is called EMLA cream. You rub it on their arm and cover with syran wrap about 1/2 an hour before they get the blood test or shots. It is supposed to numb the area.
    Maybe if you go tthis and made a big deal about how well this new medicine/cream worked it would go a bit better. I think you need a perscription

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  13. I would tell him--but do it the day of. Would also explain why he needs the test in simple language. I would also promise him a special treat after--even an icecream from McDonalds would be enough. I like the idea of roleplaying it too. Let him know that Mommy will be there with him--and that it is okay if he cries.

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  14. And I completely understand why you chose to handle it that way. When I was in the Philippines--had to take the kids to get shots. One little girl I knew would have a particularly hard time. I asked her if she knew where we were going? She said shopping. I did not tell her otherwise. I probably should have at least told her we were not shopping on this trip.

    I stayed with her and held her during the shot. Then later, I took her shopping.

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I find your comments so inspiring! Thanks for visiting our family blog, and sharing your thoughts.