Friday, September 23, 2011

Living With the Pain

Pain... it's a powerful thing.  You can try to ignore it but sometimes it becomes too intense and it takes over.
Even when you don't want it to.
For the most part, I've lived pain free for the last three years.  Before that, I lived in pain every day because of my gall bladder.  If  I admit it, it nearly destroyed me inside.
Why? 
It makes you feel alone.  You become a complainer.  A downer.  A piece of work.
You  retreat into yourself because it is the only way to cope.
When I was in pain... I had little hope.

I think that is what it comes down to.
Hope.
Pain can be crushing... and it is hope that needs to fill you.

Hope needs to fill me... again.
I am in pain.
Many days it is a constanst, nagging, thankfully dull feeling.
I can live with that.  WIthout hardly anyone noticing.
But sometimes it turns fierce.  And I become irritable.  And the pain takes over.  And I want to scream!
Like last night.  I wanted to go to the hospital.  I wanted to curl up and go away.

It has to do with my bile duct.  Sometimes it just gets irritated and then retaliates by getting me irritated.
We are fighting currently-- my bile duct and I.
It's winning.
And I am in pain.
I promised to do something with the girls last Saturday.  My bile duct said no.
We didn't go.
I set it in stone that we are going tomorrow.
It's official especially since my daughter's friend is coming over and she blogged about it on her blog.
I hope I can keep a promise.

15 comments:

  1. My pain wasn't as bad, but I had nerve damage after a surgery that radiated down from my right ear to my right elbow. Somedays it was OK, other days I would just sit and hold my arm and try not to move. After three months, when I couldn't tolerate it anymore I cried out to the Lord, "Please, give me relief or give me endurance!" It worked, sister. He gave enough relief to the pain that I can live with it now as a low grade irritation. I WILL BE PRAYING FOR YOU! I long for you to have the answers to your health situation so that you can serve Him and your family with gladness.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Christine- I am so sorry. I just said a prayer for you and will continue to pray for you throughout the day. I have already voted for you today on all three computers. You were only 10 down when I voted last.

    Lord, relieve Christine's pain and renew her hope. Pour out your peace on her. Amen.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I'm sorry you are in pain. :(
    It is amazing how it can just take over.
    I too live in pain. A different kind of pain, but it is something I fight to ignore so I can live life to the fullest. :)

    ReplyDelete
  4. Gosh girl prayers being said for you. I can't imagine being in that kind of pain and still managing being such an excellent mom but yet you do it so well! I'm sure you have but did you ever look into natural healing for your gall bladder? Lots of ideas out there not sure if any are successful or not. My dad fought with gall stones and pain for a brief while (and that was bad enough!)but then elected to have it removed. They did so but honestly, he says he has worse pain now. God can heal you and that is how I am praying...for total restoration and complete healing of your gall bladder and bile duct!!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Christine -

    Not to go into length about what I did with my gall bladder, but I got rid of my pain without surgery. I eat as little grains as possible, especially gluten. I also did a gall bladder flush. There is so much out there on the Internet about gluten sensitivity and gall bladder disease. That's why it runs in families!

    ReplyDelete
  6. I hope you get medical attention for this problem, and soon. It surely can be fixed or at least improved. Best wishes.

    ReplyDelete
  7. I feel so bad for you. I have chronic pain due to autto immune disease in my bladder,bones and muscles....it is a very lonely feeling. I get it. One minute you rate it a 4/10(good as it gets) and then you are on a walk with family far from home and forgot meds and now you are at a 7, but don't want to complain...yet DH and everybody including your youngins can tell "mommy is having Crohn's bones". I am keeping you in the prayers..all this voting is a bit unfair at times with the multiple devices. For instance I only have 1 computer and laptop....some maybe have 4 devices. So really in the end be so very proud that THOUSANDS if time someone voted for you. i can't even imagine! You rock!!!!

    Liz

    ReplyDelete
  8. I had big issues after my gall bladder was taken out. I am on welchol probably forever, but it works. Don't know if it would help that or not but push for answers from your doctor. It took me over two years to get the help I needed.

    ReplyDelete
  9. I know what you mean. I have chronic pain...my prayers are with you.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Your story sounds similar to mine. I suffered with pain for years..in and out of hospitals with no definite diagnosis. Gallbladder was removed also with no signs of stones or disease. I recently traveled to Florida to see a specialist and was diagnosed with Sphincter of Oddi disorder. I had a procedure to correct it and it saved my life. I had lost all faith in doctors and even felt forgotten by God...my faith was tested and the pain and journey brought me to my knees..in more ways than one. I am doing so much better now. I will pray for you! You are not alone! God bless you and your family.

    ReplyDelete
  11. I vote for going gluten free as well. I have given it up for three months tried to introduce a cookie last night and paid for it in ten minutes with major fatigue and mental fog until this morning.

    ReplyDelete
  12. I feel your pain literally. I have been dealing with pain issues for months. I had a open hysterectomy summer and now the ovary they left me with has a huge cyste so I will have another surgery next month to take the Ovary out,much smaller surgery this time. I had a Hidda scan done this month and was told my Gallbladder was functioning on the low end of normal, the doctor said at this point any sergeon would just take it out but she wants to wait till I have the ovary out and see if I feel any better. For me only time will tell.
    Are you not wanting to have your gallbladder out? Praying for you honey.

    ReplyDelete
  13. I understand so well. I am so sorry you are dealing with this. I pray for your pain to ease. {{Hugs}}

    ReplyDelete
  14. Hi, I never comment but my situation sounds very similar. I ended up having numerous genetic problems as well, but a medicine that really helped me and many women with bile duct problems left after gb surgery is cholestryamine. Problem is, most drs these days only want to use the new drugs. It tastes horrid but works wonders. Originally used to lower cholesterol the effect it has for problems such as ours is amazing. Please take a moment out of your day and ask your doctor about this medication. I hope you are feeling better soon

    ReplyDelete
  15. Hi!I hope you feel better go to the doctor. You alway think of others think of your self if you do not feel well you will have difficulty taking care of others,You alway think and do for others now do for yourself.our friend Pat

    ReplyDelete

I find your comments so inspiring! Thanks for visiting our family blog, and sharing your thoughts.