Examples

Example #1

I can't think of one reason how cutting corners can be a good thing.

And to do it over and over and over is just plain dumb.

Yes trash cans need bags in them... especially if you promised to put bags in the one in your bathroom as an alternative consequence to some very lazy and disobedient other behavior.

And yes the hair needs to be swept up from the floor each and every time you clean the bathroom. Same with wiping around the base of the toilet... and shaking out the rugs. I know that after showing you this about fifteen times and seeing you actually remember to do it a time or two... you can do this. Just like all of your other sisters who clean a bathroom.

And yet when I give you the chance to say you forgot to finish cleaning the bathroom and were on your way to finish right now out of complete grace, you have the nerve to declare you cleaned the whole bathroom... really well.

When you didn't.

And then the next day you cut the same corners and declare it clean when in fact it seems dirtier than the day before. Is that possible sweetheart?

And then.
And then! You begin to come up with every excuse to deflect any responsibility from your actions.

"Well it's not my fault you have me clean the dirtiest bathroom!"

Really? Two weeks ago you complained and complained about having to clean my bathroom because it is the biggest... yet it's the cleanest.

And last month I had you on clothes duty for Thursday chores and you complained about that too.

I don't even really get angry anymore. I find it quite interesting... and sad... how you spin your wheels arguing till your blue in the face. Especially when you have experienced the blessings of how it feels when you give your all. You know there is a sense of peace, a sense of accomplishment when you are trying to do what is right.

To me it sounds like you need more practice cleaning bathrooms. It is up to you how quick you realize that cutting corners is not wise.

(This is one example of behaviors we deal with on a regular basis)

Example #2

One of my boys got sent to his room for cutting in front of one of his brothers in a game of two square and then blaming that brother for being dumb because a)it bothered him and b)he came to us for justice when his brother wouldn't make things right. I probably would not have sent him to bed if there was a sorry bone in his body but there wasn't, and he even went as far as to raise his voice and argue with me as I tried to ask him to put himself in his brothers position. Honestly there was no use talking to him as he would not, could not see reason.

Fast forward to later in the evening when all of my other boys were wrestling in the loft. All eight lights were on making it extremely hot up there. I made it very clear for the umpteenth time that it wastes lots of energy and costs lots of money to have all those lights on when they can just as easily open the blinds to allow natural, cooler light to come in. I was very loud so I am positive that my son who was sent to bed heard me in the next room. As I stood on my tiptoes and pulled the chains on the fans to turn off the lights, I figured that was the end of that.

Fifteen minutes later on my way to give the littlest boys a bath, I see... and feel the same lights back on. I was livid. I shouted down the stairwell for the boys to come up as they looked at me with innocent eyes. As I began asking the kids it became clear that my son who was in his room being disciplined had something to do with it. At first he placed equal blame on Dennis who he strategically got involved by having him turn on the light switch after the chains were pulled. But it was him who actually turned on the lights with the chain.

Why?

Because he lives in opposite land and thought it amusing to do what I told his brothers not too.

Afterall, I did not literally tell him not to turn on the lights.
And you know how important semantics are.

Example #3

One of my homeschoolers was quickly and carelessly completing her work. When I would go over it with her she became increasingly huffy and puffy to the point that her handwriting was not legible and her effort level was zilch.

I was very patient but only for so long. It became apparent that she was not really trying and perhaps that she testing the waters with how far I would let her get away with her behavior.

Finally I told her that she had two choices a)she could keep acting like she was acting and I would end up ripping up her paper since no effort went into it, give her twice the classwork for extra practice, and make sure her other privileges reflected her babyish behavior or b) she could recognize her frustration, take a moment to compose herself, try her best, and come out feeling proud of herself for how she handled things and ultimately saving alot of time doing her school work so she could have free time for other things and continue to have privileges that reflect her mature and responsible attitude.

I am pretty pleased to report that this daughter... my daughter has been regularly choosing B. Definitely a smile.

As for the other examples-- well they have their good days too. :)