Don't Ever Give Up

"Mom.... can I talk to you?"
"Sure," I said.
"Oh, nevemind," my daughter replied as she covered her mouth with her hands nervously and turned to walk away."
It was past her bedtime.  John, on his way downstairs to do his evening work saw her lingering in the hall.  He told her to go in and talk to me if that was what she wanted to do.
"Come on.  You got up to tell me something so obviously it's important.  What is it?"

A long pause.
I could see her eyes become glossy with wetness.
I was kind of nervous.
"What?" I asked again.

"You know how I have been reading your blog?  Well today I went back all the way to the beginning."

Tears began to flow.

I was still a bit clueless, but my heart was definitely touched by now.

"It is so special to read how excited you were to have me join this family.  I didn't know how you prepared for me to come.  I am so sorry Mom. I know how much you love me and yet I feel like I have wasted all this time making bad decisions.  I want to be better.  Every night I go to bed all excited how I am going to be helpful and responsible in the morning, and then I don't feel the same in the morning so I don't do it.  But I want to.  I really do.  And I am going to try.  Really.... it's time."

Annalyn was allowing the tears to flow freely.  She had come to me without prompting, totally unexpected, and totally pure.  I invited her to sit down next to me and we hugged.  And we talked.  I told her how I have seen progress over the years, but tonight was probably her biggest leap ever.  She has to make these changes on her own, and the first step is recognizing that a step needs to be taken.

She shared a recent dream , she shared recent bonding moments with her sisters.  So much of the protective wall that I had unconsciously built over the years came crumbling down.  It has been five years.  Five long years... but every single one worth it. 

She is worth it.

This morning I was very surprised to find Annalyn doing the dishes without being asked.  Later I saw her put the clothes in the dryer because she had been looking for a piece of her clothing and rather than ignoring the obvious fact that the clothes needed to be put in the dryer.... she did it.

Annalyn's story is one to be cherished.  It has been a rough road for her.  Every three steps forward has been met with a few steps back.  Thankfully she has always gotten right back up to keep walking.   Her personality is outgoing, funny, and brave.  Without her, our family would be incomplete.  Thankfully she is ours... forever! 

I think she can admit that she would not be where she is today without us in her life.  But honestly, neither would we.  God knew. 
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