Digest 19

Anonymous said...
I'd love a post on your beliefs in your girls having crushes on boys!
February 18, 2011 1:21 PM

Crushes are a part of growing up. As much as I want my kids to hold off on feeling serious about someone until they are older, I can't control their feelings. If there is one thing I have learned all over again with my girls it's that they are emotional, passionate, and at an age where they want to spread their wings to see if they could fly. This topic has taken my daughter and I on one heck of a roller coaster ride, but ultimately I think we can both confidently say that we are closer because of it. It has forced me to bring up some subjects that I thought my daughter was too young to hear--- including sexually transmitted diseases and preparing for adulthood as she becomes a young woman--- and yet I can see the blessing in that too. She knows that I think she is responsible and mature enough to hear these things and it gave me practice when the times comes for me to talk to my other daughters.

Looking at the big picture, I simply want my children to grow up to be with someone that is going to treat them as they want to be treated, and share their love for our Lord. If my kids find someone like that-- even at a younger age that I would like, I will be one happy Mama!

steph said...
I'm just wondering if you'd be willing to share a little more information about things that go wrong, or behavior problems, or in this case you said the day didn't start off too well. I also like to hear what you do in certain situations. I think that you have probably seen it all and could offer some ideas of how to handle certain situations. Of course, we don't want you to share things you are uncomfortable sharing or that would violate any sense of privacy, but I'm just wondering what kinds of things you deal with when there is a problem. It seems that you deal with things that a lot of people deal with but you have decided to handle it and be positive instead of wallowing in misery. You are a good example to many people and we appreciate you sharing part of your life with us.
February 24, 2011 9:38 PM

There are many things that go on in our home day to day that I do not share on this blog. And not just because it would embarrass my kids... it would embarrass me too if you knew my behavior at times. None of us are perfect. But I will share you a quick glimpse.

Recently after asking my daughters to mop and sweep, I totally blew it with my unkind, critical response. Turns out only one of my daughters had actually did the job because the other daughters went off to play-- and instead of saying thank you, I critically responded with a-- "You missed a spot." My daughter responded with, "You've got to be kidding me," and I argued why my response was okay. It was totally wrong of me and I acknowledged it shortly after-- though I wish it had been immediately, or better yet that I had only responded with a thank you.

For me, it was humbling because as a parent of many children I have to juggle with teaching my kids to do their best while figuring out if they didn't do a good job because they were lazy, or because they simply missed a spot like I might do. This time, I made a bad call and acknowledging that too.... well it took more time than it should. Not one of my finer moments.

Other things that go on--- sometimes my kids fight-- physically-- and I have to get in the middle. Not fun-- but when one child communicates his frustrations best through pushing and hitting--- sometimes you have to escort them to another room-- and not by skipping while holding hands. And of course, rather than blog about these times, I take a few days to mull things over and usually realize that I got more worked up than anyone.

Sometimes a few of our kids take advantage when company is over because they figure we won't call them on it. The rule could be just one cup of soda at dinner, and as soon as company comes over -- it suddenly becomes two or four because they assume that we don't want to address their behavior with company over.

Another time, two of our kids "accidentally" came across pornography-- and I probably overreacted-- I would have written a book had I blogged about the incident immediately when it happened.

Other things include addressing one daughter's "dwindling" appetite, general disrespect, being responsible about schoolwork-- yes I will still hold you accountable even though I am your Mom, puberty related issues, and a few good scream fests here and there-- well you can see why I don't blog about it all.

And yet, our kids are terrific when I stop and look at the big picture. Each and everyone of them. I love it that I can go out for bread and milk and come home to a straightened up house. I love how I can tell my girls it is time for a Mom/daughter talk and they get excited. I think it is special that at least five kids ask if they could sleep with us. I appreciate that my newest daughter asked if she could have her own slip. I find it wonderful that my 13 year old daughter wanted to buy tennis balls to play with in the trampoline with her birthday money. I love how my 10 year old will wear a cape when he rides his bike. I was delighted when one of my daughters asked if they could read the bible for their daily independent reading.

Our life is certainly a journey of ups and downs-- and I guess the best way to find balance is to make sure if I blog about a trial, I better include a smile. Hopefully I did just that.

mom2four said...
I LOVE their artwork. I too home school and am wondering if you use a curriculum for art, are artsy yourself, or the kids are just that good? I have a daughter who's artistic and I know would excel but I have no clue to begin with her....those pictures are so inspiring!
February 28, 2011 10:31 AM

Thanks for the compliment-- the kids get all the credit! They are taking an art class down at a ceramic shop about 2o miles from us. This is part of the charter home school that my kids are enrolled in. They get a set amount of funds each semester from the school and I can choose what they spend it on. Wait till you see the pinch pots they are working on! In addition to this weekly class, Sveta, Anastasia, and Jonny do Draw Write Now which is a homeschooling must if you ask me. Not only does it encourage a love of art, but it teaches them the basics about different subjects from farm animals to Christopher Columbus to folk tales. Jonny writes the sentences in print, while Sveta and Anastasia write it in both cursive and print.

Anonymous said...
That is sweet but I thought your kids were not allowed to believe in Santa.
March 3, 2011 9:15 AM

This is true, but when I initially read Andrew's poem, he got me to thinking that maybe I should reconsider this. While I want the focus of Christmas to not be Santa, I think now that my kids know the truth it wouldn't hurt to play make-believe for the sake of childhood memories. I have to admit that midnight cookies are pretty yummy! However, when I asked Andrew about this line in the poem, he told me that he couldn't think of anything else to write since he had already mentioned Jesus in a previous line. So we'll see whether or not Santa visits this year. Funny how a little poem by your child can make you stop and think.

Brenda said...
My question is...do you have the same "problems" with your 3 girls that were re-adopted by you, that their first families had? Or do they just fit in better with your family and you don't have the same troubles? Everybody seems so happy and they just seem to fit in so well.
January 21, 2011 4:52 PM

Of course we deal with some of the same problems that our daughters' previous families did. Not all-- but a lot. But knowing about them enabled us to dive head first into working through the issues which helped tremendously. Now after many years, most of the behaviors are gone. Lying-- like saying, "I forgot," is something that we are still working on. Just tonight, one of my daughters wanted a toothpick and knocked down the whole plastic container all over the counter. We're talking about hundreds of tooth picks and one obvious mess. Instead of cleaning it up, my daughter went on her merry way claiming that she was going to come back and clean it up but forgot. And yes we have talked about this tendency to forget things and how she should do something immediately when it is fresh on her mind to avoid getting in trouble later since she knows that she will probably forget. Her excuse for not doing that was that she wasn't going to forget. Oh really?

Denise: Always In His Grace said...
As he gets older, and if he wanted would Dennis be able to have more reconstructive surgery on his face, for example could his eye ever be made to be able to close?When will Galina's adoption be finalized? How is she fitting into your family? How does she feel about you adopting her?Do you currently have anything furry living with you?You had talked about Alex possibly having surgery to help with his bathroom issues. Is that still a possibility?
January 21, 2011 8:37 PM

We want Dennis to have every possible surgery if it will benefit him. Now that we are near a children's teaching hospital-- our old plastic surgeon is hopeful that Dennis will have access to the newest medical procedures. We are waiting for referrals and are excited to see what 2011 brings for our son! If it turns out that more surgeries are not in his future we are okay with that too. More than okay actually-- because Dennis couldn't be more perfect in our eyes. More surgery would only be to help boost his confidence (which is as great a reason as any) and to help the rest of the world to see him as we do.

We just filed our adoption petition for Galina-- and she is as excited as we are.

As for pets, we have two wonderful dogs named Misty and Dolly, and Bobble/Lizzie the lizard. Why two names-- well at first we thought she was a boy and then a girl and now we use the names interchangeably-- at least I do. As for our cats-- they either ran away or were eaten by coyotes. We think the latter since there are no cats around in the neighborhood except for maybe one big fat one. Sveta being the animal lover that she is, probably took it the hardest. But she is okay now.

Guest said...
How do you transport all 15 kids now? Any plans for a bus in the future? :)Do any of the kids resent the blog and being shown on it? Do they even read it regularly?What does john do for work? Did you go to college/have a career before your family?
January 21, 2011 9:20 PM

We travel in two cars when all 17 of us go somewhere. Though I wouldn't mind a mini-bus, my kids have made it clear that they will not be caught dead in one. Only time will tell.

The kids read the blog regularly-- and tell me if they have an issue with something I wrote.

John is in food manufacturing overseeing plant operations.

I graduated high school in three years because I hated it with a passion and wanted out. I went to college and got my AA just two weeks after having Adam. I worked seasonally as a pesticide clerk but stopped once I got pregnant. At that point, John and I decided that I would stay at home to raise our children-- and have been doing so ever since.

Marzenka said...
I have a question about Dennis.How is he doing in school/kindergarten? Are the kids nice to him?
January 22, 2011 7:13 AM

Dennis is a bright little boy. He attends a pre-school program once a week and speech twice a week. He is scheduled to attend regular kindergarten next year! And yes, most kids are very nice to him.