Friday, January 21, 2011
Go Ahead and Ask
I recently got a comment asking some very good questions-- but after reading, I began to wonder if there are any other questions people had that could be answered at the same time that I haven't already answered. So... if there is something you have wanted to know about our family, please feel free to ask-- as long as it is not too personal.
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40 inspiring thoughts:
I would REALLY like to know more about Galina!
I would like to know, have any of your children felt any sort of jealousy towards new siblings? With so many kids sharing one mom and dad, I could see why a child may get upset. Also, have any of your children resented your adopting them out of anger (of course)? I think that may be one of my biggest fears of my own international adoption journey. I would be crushed if my children thought I ripped them of their culture/hertiage. Thanks Christine! Love your blog and welcome Miss Galina!
aside from the question i asked about if you're going to do a post about Galina so we can know more about her, where she's from, all that sort of info like you did when Annalyn & Rachel joined your family, i've got a couple others. :-)
i've always wondered if any of your adopted children have any type of desire to go back to their country of birth, either to learn about the culture or find info about their past. is this something you would support when they are adults? would you want to go with them if things worked out for that to be possible?
also, how is it working out with having Galina come along so soon after Paul & Anastasia? i know the reason most agencies say you have to wait a certain amount of time between adoptions is so that all the family members can sort of find their place in the new balance of things, and i was wondering how your family is doing with having one very new addition & two relatively new ones, and especially how Anastasia & Paul feel about it.
how is bonding going with Galina? i'm not sure if you knew her or OF her before she came for respite or how long she's been officially part of the family, but i know it's all still very new & have been praying for both her & the rest of your family as you all bond & figure out the family dynamics.
and finally... what do you all think of your new location? from what i can tell you'd been in your previous area for many years and i know you have enough changes going on with the adoptions so the move is a pretty big deal. are you & John glad you moved? how are the kids adjusting?
Please understand that I'm am not judging your choices at all but I am coming from a practical standpoint. I have noticed several of your girls are named some thing with Anna involved. What was your reasoning on not picking something different? Doesn't you trip over them and call them the wrong thing? I have seven and I call them the wrong name and they are no where near alike so I am just wondering about that aspect of your life.
Hi Christine, I have a few questions:
1. How did your kids react to your decision to homeschool? Now that you've done it for a few weeks, how do they feel?
2. Are their special friendships between certain sets of siblings?
3. You have several teens already and are the brink of having many more. Any special rules about dating driving, etc.?
I enjoy your blog!
My question is...do you have the same "problems" with your 3 girls that were re-adpoted by you, that their first families had? Or do they just fit in better with your family and you don't have the same troubles? Everybody seems so happy and they just seem to fit in so well.
I have been seriously considering adopting a child from an International adoption. I read your blog faithfully, but I read a lot of International Adoption family blogs and it seems like there are sooo many kids with RAD and I worry about that. Do any of your kids have RAD? If so, have you seen improvements?
How many clothes washing machines and dryers do you have?
We have been thinking a lot lately about providing respit care for adopted children. But I don't know the first thing about it.
How do your children handle knowing someone will be in and out for a short time? Did they encourage you to adopt them? How do you love them, yet not too much knowing they will be leaving soon? Are they usually a BIG disruption to your family or is it the usual getting used to sort of thing?
Any general info would be helpful!
thanks,
Sue
Do you make your bigs do things for your littles? I have 2 children left at home as my oldest recently moved out. They are 14 and 6 and I have noticed my 14 yo does not have a servant's heart and is quite impatient when called on to pitch in. He is extremely compliant and will do it immediately but the heart is not there. I have been requiring him to serve more and wonder how it is in a family with many children.
This question is NOT meant to be offensive at all, so please don't take it that way!
I was wondering if you thought your success with adopting older children & kids through disruption has anything to do with the SIZE of your family? Do you think the number of children & the way you live because of your large family (large family meals, several kids sleeping "dorm style", chores, etc..)loosley resembles institutional living?? (In the VERY best sort of way of course!)
Maybe in a larger family there's not soooo much emphasis or pressure on the bonding process and less chance that each child will be "nit-picked" for every little behavior?? I'm not sure, I was just wondering if you thought mabye larger families had more success with these more "difficult to place" children??
I have 3 biological & 3 adopted siblings by the way. Thanks!
-MK
I would love to know how your children feel each time you add another child to the family, especially the older ones. I can't imagine how you spread yourself around and wonder if anyone feels like they aren't getting enough of you.
I'm also curious about the adoptions that resulted from a previous adoption. Do you have the same problems the first family had?
What are the sleeping arangements like in your house? I'm assuming that your kids share rooms, how does that work out? Do you sort by age? By genders? By when they entered the family?
This is not meant to be offensive and I hope it not too personal, please excuse me if is...
I was just wondering if any of the children you have adopted, from disruptions or on your own, have received any professional help adjusting? I'm not asking for names or specific situations....it just seems hard to believe that you have adopted several children from disruptions, that were obviously happening for valid reasons, and that the children would turn around and fit and act so differently in your home... I'm just wondering if you and family have ever utilized services available and if so what and have they helped? or ever considered doing so....Just wondering if like the rest of us, you need some help from time to time(or if this is not the case, why do you think your children behave so differently in your family?)
I haven't seen much on your blog about this topic (outside help) and it might be sensitive so I apologize if it is, but i was curious. Thanks!
As he gets older, and if he wanted would Dennis be able to have more reconstructive surgery on his face, for example could his eye ever be made to be able to close?
When will Galina's adoption be finalized? How is she fitting into your family? How does she feel about you adopting her?
Do you currently have anything furry living with you?
You had talked about Alex possibly having surgery to help with his bathroom issues. Is that still a possibility?
How do you transport all 15 kids now? Any plans for a bus in the future? :)
Do any of the kids resent the blog and being shown on it? Do they even read it regularly?
What does john do for work? Did you go to college/have a career before your family?
how do you make time to spend with each child individually?
I thought of a few more.
Has your old house sold yet?
Is Dennis potty trained?
How do you handle it when a member of the family REALLY dislikes a certain food, do they have the option of not eating it or having an alternative (like making themself a PB&J sandwich)
Do you have family dinner every night or do you ever have fend for yourself nights where everyone (except the little ones) just makes what they want and eats when they want.
Do the school going kids make their own lunches or buy school lunch?
Do you believe in vaccinations? Do new children in your home end up needing a lot of vaccines to "catch up?"
Are any of the older kids learning to drive yet?
A while back one of your girls had wanted you to adopt an infant with a severe cranial deformity, do you know what ever became of that baby?
I don't mean this in an offensive way, but I am really curious how you guys afford all this??? I believe you are a SAHM? And your husband is the sole provider? Do you guys ever worry about money??
What would you do if one of your children was gay? Wether or not you think it is a choice, what if your child came to you. This is a very honest question and I'm just curious to know how you guys would handle that. I hope this is not too personal but if it is, please don't answer :)
Take care Christine
Hi Christine,
As a long time admirer of you and your wonderful family I do have a few questions...
..
How do you balance kid time and hubby time? (i am struggling with this now)
Do you have social time for just you..like with girl friends a mom day or something?
What keeps you going?
Any tips on meals that are economical but kid friendly at the same time.
What kind of discipline do you use? We are very limited as foster parents as to what we are allowed to do.
How do you conquer your tiredness...? I mean there must be days that you are exhausted?
Do all the kids help with housework?
..
God bless.
This might be too personal, but one of my great griefs is that my two children who are on the "RAD scale", and didn't receive love as infants, do not believe in God. This makes sense on a lot of levels. In fact, I recently read a study by theologian/psychologist who found that boys abused or neglected by their fathers were almost uniformly non-believers. Do you have any children who resist religious training? Who claim they have no faith in God?
Love the new blog design! The pictures are gorgeous!
I have a question about Dennis.
How is he doing in school/kindergarten? Are the kids nice to him?
What is your absolute most favorite thing to do all together as a family?
How much, if any, Russian is spoken by the children among one another? Have any struggled a lot in learning English? Do you try to maintain some knowledge of their native language or is the focus on English? I know that's lof of questions, but I would love to read a post on language in general and weather losing their first language causes sadness or regret in any of your children. Thank you! Love the question posts.
Do you have a few guidelines that you use when adopting an older child? we are waiting for a referral of an older child. We're first-time parents, and you have so much experience; we would appreciate any advice you have to give.
Thank you!
1. How is Alex doing these days?
2. How do you tell your kids that you're adopting again? Have any of them expressed they're not happy when you tell them?
3. How's Galina adjusting to your family?
4. Are there any kids that have a special bond?
5. How does your family do sleeping arrangements? Currently, who rooms with who?
Sorry if any of these are too personal! Have a nice weekend!
I've been wondering since Paul and Anastasia are sooo newly adopted, and they obviously see you taking in Galina from a disruption....so I'm curious if that mentally effects P and A? I'm sure you tell them you are their mom forever, but I didn't know if seeing Galina's situation unfold causes them to have doubts? Or make them feel like they need have even better behavior so it doesn't happen to them?
Yes, echoing the person upthread - how do you afford all this?
From what you wrote earlier somewhere, Sveta's FAS is fairly strong. What are your realistic hopes for her, life skills-wise?
I think someone else may have asked already, but here's one my husband asks me almost any time I tell him something I read on your blog: what does John do for work? I think he's trying to imagine being the breadwinner for such a large family, when he feels so much pressure with just the 3 (soon to be 4) of us!
How did you become a believer? Did you grow up in religious household? Are any of your children hesitant or nonbelievers?
I remember reading that you had another private blog about your life before Christ? Would you share the link? I would be interested in hearing how you came to this decision. Thanks
How do you handle the issue of pocket money in your home? Do your kids get an allowance?
'I dont mean to be offensive,' really. But how do you decide that at some point, theres some people who really intend to offend you? They just hope by saying that they dont want to offend, that makes it ok.
Every decision you make for your present or future kids, may not be the same decision I would make for mine. Humans have choices. But please dont let people make you doubt yourself. Your children are all productive members of society. Sure they may cross the line every once in awhile, but they are still children. All children, adopted or birthed, have the right to make mistakes, an error in judgement. But at the end of the day, you know that you are raising your kids right. Even if you have 30 of them.
Although,you may have to eventually employ a bathroom clean up crew at some point, just for the girls.
Hi, first I want to say I love your blog. I've lurked for a long time. I just love reading about the closeness of your family. My questions are...
How do you handle sleeping arrangements? How many kids are there per bedroom ?
The reason I ask is I try to give my teens their own space and that works really well for them, but my twins share a room and they fight like cats and dogs.
Second question is how did you get involved in doing respite? I think I would like to do it, maybe for families who have adopted from Haiti and Africa.
Thanks in advanced and have a blessed day.
Thank you for letting us ask a question, and for blogging! I wanted to ask why did you think that Anastasia and Paul's adoption went so smoothly? They certainly look like very sweet children in your photos! Just googling "adoption disruption" as I did the other day brings up many stories of disrupting older children from EE, where the children have found it difficult to settle into family life.
Hi, How is Anna's growth hormone treatment going? And Alex's kidney function? Hope all is well.
If this is not too personal, I would like to know if any of your kids have RAD (or that you suspect it). I know you've adopted from disruptions, and disruptions always make me wonder about RAD being a possible reason. But please, if it's too personal, don't worry about answering.
Will Galina be able to keep in touch with her older biological sister?
How are Denis Alex doing medically and developmentally? How is Alex doing with toileting? Are you still doing the bowel management program? If so, how is he responding to everything?
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