Happy birthday Annalyn!
One was this sweater with a beaded gray undershirt-- totally Annalyn.
The second was an MP3 player!
And the third was a three piece ensemble--- a jazzy, glittery butterfly shirt with a cute, lace vest and a silver heart pendant necklace. Amazing how God saved the perfect gifts for her on the day that I went shopping-- here I had a bad attitude and yet God showed me amazing grace and showed Annalyn that even though we are all very undeserving, his grace is always enough.
Julia made her an Apple crumb dessert-- her signature dish!
Annalyn had not one,not two, but three helpers to blow out her candles.
Annalyn had not one,not two, but three helpers to blow out her candles.
For dinner, we had tacos! Lots and lots!
Since we have three more birthdays in the next month John and I decided to group all four together and do something big. Tonight we announced it to all the kids-- and boy are they excited!
Happy birthday Annalyn! We love you! Enjoy shaving!
10 inspiring thoughts:
Frankly, a birthday is a celebration of who an individual was, is and could be. It is a celebration of life. A celebration of what God created.
No one should be denied this celebration, or the simple gifts and joy of it...because another does not approve of behaviour.
Punishments and learning through loss of privledges should be saved for when they can be used to the best effect for all.
Not as a way for one person to get personal satisfaction, and indulge in their own anger.
I am surprised that you used such a blessed event to soothe your own wounds, and make youself feel better.
Issues such as hers are not going to be resloved if you do not celebrated who she could be, if you make a birthday a privledge that is based only on your perception of good behaviour.
She does need much work...but obviously so do you.
I am glad that it was a good day! I pushed through too and put my big girl pants on :) On my way out the door to buy doughnuts for the birthday girl.... it is tradition so it MUST happen.
Have a good day!
Do tell. What are "we" doing for the four birthdays?
I understand the feelings. I am there. I had issues with my entitlement child today. I am afraid the presents I got him just added to his feelings--I am cool therefore I don't deserve anything less than Southpole clothes. (I bought them because they were half price and I knew he'd like them but somewhat regret it now).
That is a very pretty sweater set.
Happy Birthday, Annalyn!
Happy Birthday, Annalyn!!!! The sweater looks beautiful on her!
I have always wondered about Annalyn. I don't know why, but I'm drawn to her and curious. I always kind of felt there was a sadness in her eyes. I pray that those bumps in the road become smaller and smaller and that she always knows she is loved unconditionally. Good luck! Glad she had a nice celebration!
Looking forward to the big birthday plans!
I was wondering if you could expand on some things regarding life with a big family....
can you tell us more about Galina? How is she adjusting, what country was she adopted from, at what age? etc...congrats btw on the new family member!
Do you ever get negative comments from family, friends, peers, etc about your big family and the means/rate of adding new members? (I think it is greats that you and your husband open your doors and hearts to so many hurting children!)
How do you do meals, chores, etc with 15 children? Do you have a daily schedule-what does it look like?
How do you split the kids up, in bedrooms I mean? What about clothes, do all the girls share clothes or have their own?
How do your other children react to the new children you adopt? Do you consult, tell them before deciding to adopt, like for galina, or just tell them? Is there ever jealousy, feelings of not being good enough for you, etc?
How did you decide who to home school? obviously the academic/social needs of your children, but did they have a say? Did they want to be home schooled or not want to? Do you plan on homeschooling them for many years or just a couple with the goal/idea of mainstreaming later?
Can you recap who you are homeschooling and who is in public school/what grades they are in?
How are things in the new house/city, have the kids made new friends, how is everyone adjusting?
Also, what is the big birthday surprise?
Sorry for all the questions! I find your family very interesting and inspiring!
whew... that was a slew of questions. LOL! Got me to wondering. ~smile~
I have a soft spot for Annalyn, too. She is gorgeous in her new clothes and looks very happy.
While I understand the first poster's point of view, perhaps she doesn't understand that sometimes the disfunctional behaviors are SO disfunctional that it wouldn't even be possible to celebrate.
Birthdays are a huge trigger for my daughter too. But what seems like "entitlement" is really absolute terror that she is worth nothing. It is overwhelming for her to fear her very existence won't be celebrated, but when it IS, she feels unworthy and fears it all being taken away, or her being "found out" as the worthless person she believes she is. So on some level I think she sabbotages celebrations deliberately. Since all of these feelings are mostly subconscious, my goal has been over the years, to help her understand them. Through understanding, she can fight for truth. She was "taught" as an infant when she wasn't fed or clothed, or given affection, that she isn't worth care and love. Those early lessons are hard to re-teach. But, she needs to learn that she is WORTHTY OF LOVE.
Progress can be made. It looks like Annalyn learned that her birthday is special, as she is.
To Asiya, I don't think Annalyn was denied the celebration of who she is, her family was all there celebrating who she was and enjoying her recieving gifts that a lot of thought were put into.
I am curious as to how she knew that Christine waited till the last minute to purchase her gifts?
My GUESS is because she asked her Momma if she had bought them yet, having an adopted girlie, that is my guess, maybe I'm wrong.
My daughter's birthday is in 12 days, it is only her 2nd birthday home. My kids do not get a huge birthday party every year. She had a huge one last year, my plans were to give her another one this year, since she hasn't been home very long. However she has had some extreme (for her) behaviour problems, and we told her no birthday party. Things are overly important to adopted kiddos. We explained that the big birthday party with friends was a privelage, a privelage her behavour got taken away (and trust me it wasn't an easy decision) However I really stressed to her, that we would still do our tradition of the birthday person choosing somewhere for dinner and the family would celebrate together.
I think Annalyn is of the age to where she can see that if you disobey or most likely try to make someone mad at you, that feelings have ramifications, and if you have done your darnest to create that situation (no matter why) that person is not going to be running out to buy you presents. She knew her Mama was going to buy her presents.
H1!At the church my children attend for Asian youth group birthday's are a big deal. The church purchases store bought birthday cakes for everyone who has a birthday that week.Each person gets their own birthday cake.Happy Birthday is sung in Korean and English and there is much clapping and singing.Birthdays are a celebration of life and it seems your family has a lot to celebrate.Blessings,Pat
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