Thursday, November 18, 2010

What a Beautiful Story

My sister just sent this to me. Thanks Sis! I just had to share it with you.

Thursday, August 5, 2010

When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I've got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.

Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly.

She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why?

I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Jane. I didn't love her anymore. I just pitied her!

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company.

She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Jane so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.

The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn't have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Jane.

When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.

In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn't want anything from me, but needed a month's notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month's time and she didn't want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.

This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day.

She requested that every day for the month's duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.

I told Jane about my wife's divorce conditions. . She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully.

My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mommy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don't tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside
the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.

On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn't looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me.

On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn't tell Jane about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.

She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily.

Suddenly it hit me... she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.

Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it's time to carry mom out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day.

But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn't noticed that our life lacked intimacy.

I drove to office.... jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind...I walked upstairs. Jane opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Jane, I do not want the divorce anymore.

She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Jane, I said, I won't divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn't value the details of our lives, not because we didn't love each other anymore. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart.

Jane seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away.

At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I'll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.

That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed - dead.
My wife had been fighting CANCER for months and I was so busy with Jane to even notice. She knew that she would die soon and she wanted to save me from the whatever negative reaction from our son, in case we push thru with the divorce.-- At least, in the eyes of our son--- I'm a loving husband....

The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time to be your spouse's friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!

If you don't share this, nothing will happen to you.

If you do, you just might save a marriage.
Many of life's failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.

A CHRIST-CENTERED MARRIAGE IS A MARRIAGE THAT IS SURE TO LAST A LIFETIME.

So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate. Matthew 19:6

9 inspiring thoughts:

Anonymous said...

Wow what a powerful story. Thankyou for sharing it.

La viudita del Conde Laurel said...

I've been staring at the comment box for a while now, trying to articulate why this story bothered me so much.

I feel that first I need to tell you that I have never gotten a divorce, nor do I plan to. I have never been "Jane" in a situation like this either. So please understand that I'm not personally offended and I'm not coming from a place of defensiveness.

But I simply cannot agree with such a simplistic perspective. I think it borders on irresponsible to promote this idea that divorces - and relationships as a whole - are black-or-white situations like the one presented here. This story is made up entirely of clichés - and real people in real relationships rarely fit into these molds, if ever. Not all the abandoned wives are saintly and noble (and of course she dies at the end!), not all "other women" are scornful and violent, not all relationships end because people simply don't take the time to appreciate each other. And most of all, it's not always better for the children if the parents stay together. We're all human. We're not one-dimensional.

I usually find you a very reasonable woman, but I have to politely disagree this time. Thank you for sharing and for making me reflect on this.

Christine said...

Laurel, I appreciate your response. And I get where you are coming from. My posting this does not mean that I would have anywhere near that response if I was in a similar situation, but the romanticist in me appreciates what the author was trying to convey. After reading this, I insisted in helping my husband take off his boots-- that is what I got from the story. The littlest things build on our relationship and remembering to be intimate is a key to a healthy and long lasting relationship too. Having God at the center has grounded our marriage as well.

Keep commenting, I enjoy the conversation because it makes me think too.

La viudita del Conde Laurel said...

Thank you for commenting back, Christine. I agree with you on where the true value of the story lies - and it has made me act a little different towards my loved ones today :)

Martha said...

Thank you for a beautiful story. Whether it is a fairy tale or not, it conveys a message that we all need to hear and put into practice.

Anna said...

Thank you for sharing this. Its so easy with little ones to take our husbands for granted or put their needs/desires on the bottom of the list. I remember when we were young someone told me to make sure I napped in the afternoons with the little ones so that I was refreshed for my husband in the evenings...... I had let that slip my mind and been giving him what is leftover. Which isnt much.

Hippiechik said...

Thanks for sharing this with us!
We don't know what we've got till it is gone. Sometimes people take each other for granted. reminds me of this quote

"never take someone for granted hold every person close to your heart cause you might wake up one day and realize that you've lost a diamond while you were too busy collecting stones"

Anonymous said...

Hi this was a wonderful story.It made me think about relationships marriage is a relationship and like all relationships it must be worked at and each person must show kindness to the other and show the other person in the relationship that they are valued and loved.The same is true in ones relationship with ones children. As parents we must show our children that they are valued and loved.Parents relationships with their children are always evolving.Relationships with the husband and wife are also evolving and must alway be worked on if the relationship is to grow.Blessing, Pat

Wordfiend said...

While this story certainly tugs at the heartstrings, it is fictional. Check snopes.com: http://www.snopes.com/glurge/carry.asp

What really twigged me: there is no way she would have continued going to work right up until the day before she died of cancer.

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