Moving and Parenting Challenges

The days are going by fast. We are counting the days down until we move. Six more counting today. It's not because we can't wait to get out of dodge, but more because living apart is taking its toll. It has only been about two months since John began his new job down south but it feels like so much longer. The main thing though, is that we have made it through and now there are only six more days before we spend our last night here in this old home.

We feel fairly confident that the construction will be done on Friday-- if not we will have to make do. The texturing is done and painting and carpentry work is set to begin. The one thing we may be waiting on down to the last minute is the stair rail. If it doesn't come we will just have to figure something out because we can't put off moving another day. We reserved two big U-Haul trucks, and have been blessed with friends and family who are willing to help us move this weekend-- so like I said-- we are coming no matter what!

We have gotten together with friends for food and fellowship and will do that three more times this week. Last minute cups of coffee, birthday parties, and barbecues are nice distractions from the business of moving. We went to church here for the last time yesterday and we were blessed in prayer from the whole congregation. Since Adam has been involved nearly three Sundays a month for the last two years in the worship band they gave him a gift of thanks-- something that I know will stick with Adam forever. He didn't expect it since he got so much out of participating in the worship band-- but to be recognized for his faithfulness in ministry I know cemented his calling to get involved in our new church too. Thanks to everyone who played a key part in that.

Parenting has been challenging these last few weeks as we battle worldly influences. You don't know how many times I have felt like letting everything go for the sake of peace and harmony-- but I stuck it out. God never promised everything would be peaceful and easy. When John went to the store yesterday with at least ten of the kids-- that crazy guy-- I sat down with my one daughter and had a good heart to heart. So much needed to be said-- we had gotten to the point where almost anything either of us did felt as if it was to purposefully get under the skin of the other. I told her that even though a huge part of me wanted to let many things slide for the sake of avoiding confrontation-- like her attitude towards retaining things she has learned in school, her preoccupation with her looks and clothing, her knack at being lovey-dovey when she wants something from me when a second later she can push me away with her words when she doesn't want what I have to offer... the list could go on but my focus was to get her to understand that I am her mother and that even though it looks like I have the easier job of the two of us-- I struggle just as much as her if not more.

I gave the example of us moving. I went through the list of all the reasons why I felt this move was already hard on her and she looked surprised that I could possibly understand. I reminded her that she was only thinking of herself and look how hard it was on her. Now I told her to pretend to be me. Not only am I dealing with my own feelings about moving but I am dealing with hers, and hers, and hers, and his, and his....

I asked her if she would prefer to switch roles with me. She got the point. Or at least I think she did.

We talked some more and eventually got to a point where both of us let our guards down. No more fighting misunderstandings. No more walls of defense up. I want us to focus on getting closer-- not growing further apart. I want to see her continue to blossom, not wither. I want to see her inner beauty radiate around her as we both work on fruits of the spirit like gentleness, patience, self-control, and peace. The point in all of this is that she is my daughter and I am her mother. Plain and simple. We do not get more do-overs. God has brought us together as a family and what we make of it is our own choosing. And I told her that even though I may fail her miserably at times-- I still choose love. I still choose family. I still choose her.

I gently reminded her that I thought she was responsible and mature enough to get that.

She appreciated that.