I held the thick packet between my fingers, not sure if I wanted to laugh or cry. As I thought about the impending move, I decided to cry. And so I did.
Like a big baby.
John looked to the positive-- the new school district had already paid out a whopping $5.00 in postage by sending us all of the kids' registration forms. See... everything will be alright.
Laughing and crying at the same time, I just couldn't see the humor in our current situation.
"So Christine, what is really so overwhelming that you can't deal with?"
"Everything."
"Name one."
"The school forms."
"Done. I'll handle that."
"John, it is not that easy. Don't do that! It is way more than the stupid forms!"
"Then tell me what is so overwhelming."
"Okay. Picking the paint color! Trying to sell this house! Trying to decide if we should rent it instead. Thinking about the maintenance-- the yard, the pool. Thinking about how we are going to handle two house payments. How unfair it is that we have to be in this predicament because the housing market and economy is so bad! How much easier it would be to just walk away from this home. Why do we always have to do the right thing? Why? Can't we just this once take the easy way out? How are we going to move? When are we going to move? What if we can't get all the kids in the same school? What if the doctor and dentist that I have chosen for us-- what if we don't like them? Where am I going to find time to fill out all of those school forms? When am I even going to see the house? Who agrees to buying a home before seeing it? Us-- me-- that's who! Should I go this weekend to see the home we are buying? Should I meet with the window covering guy? The construction guy to frame the closet? What about the backyard? What about this? What about that?"
I can tell you I unloaded on my husband big time. And I felt guilty doing it and ashamed of some of the things I was saying, but I couldn't help myself. At that moment, I just needed to vent.
And bless his heart.
When I was done, he got out our backyard dimensions that he had previously drawn out on a piece of paper and made numerous copies of for us to doodle on and he began drawing out where we would plant some fruit frees.
There done. Check that one off the list. He coaxed a smile out of me.
"And as for the paint color, just bring me that color chart. Here, pick any color and don't look back."
This was his way of trying to make me feel less overwhelmed and at the end of it, I guess I did because at the very least he had helped me to see how hard I am making things for myself.
And he reminded me of so many more important things that would result from our moving-- like us being together, him being a full-time Dad instead of being around only one or two days a week, and he helped me to remember how we had done this once before so we could do it again, including making two mortgage payments until we either sell the house or rent it out.
I know he is right. And I know that we as a family can do this.
I simply reminded him that there just might be a few more times just like this before all is said and done.
Right now that looks like less than one month. Is that even possible?
22 inspiring thoughts:
Its hard not to let things get you down and pile all on top of you..
That is why your hubby is there for to be the one to lean on to cry on his shoulder... I am sure if the tables had been turned you would do the same for him!
Big hugs hope that the packing fairys come and pack EVERYthing away!
It's so good you could vent. Good you have the relationship with John that you have so you could vent, and he could help de-stress you a bit. I'm fortunate enough to have the same relationship with my hubby, and he also listens and helps me see that things will work out.
You're not the only one who has agreed to buy a house without seeing it. We actually agreed to buying a house without either of us seeing it - now that sounds really crazy! But we had lived in Finland for a bit over a year (that was our plan then - sold our little house and took a year in Hubby's country of birth, so we could spend time with his family and friends, etc.) and when it came time to moving back to Mn, I felt it was so much work I knew I didn't ever want to move again. First kids were then school age, and I didn't want them to have to switch schools once we get started, etc. So we watched the housing market for some months (from Finland) and then had my brother-in-law who was a realtor start checking places out. With the help of my sister, they were able to look until they found just what we were looking for! And it was just right for us. But it did feel strange when we moved back to Mn, went the next day for the 'final walk through' which was our first time seeing the place', and then bought it the next day!
And then ... the economy made us also make the decision to move again. We rent our house out, and we're in Finland again where my husband has lots, lots of work. In Mn his work had dwindled down to almost nothing (small business owner.)
So - I understand you. Of course there are so many things I can't relate with (adoption, you have twice the number of kiddos than we have), but moving because of rotten economy, deciding whether to rent or sell, changing schools ... again, agreeing to buy without seeing ...
Hang in there, Christine! You're awesome, and really - you can do it!
And I bet your sweet husband had you laughing by the end of it all didn't he?..I know my husband always manages to get a laugh out of me when Iam stressed about something..I am sure all will work out in the end..have faith
Peta
Sometimes it's good to vent, let it all out and cry. Remember that you moved just 2 or 3 years ago and survived. You can do it.
Pray, pray, pray...Give your burdens to the Lord. I will cover you in prayer, I will pray for peace for the Lord to put the right people in your paths. For the will of the Lord to be done with the home you are leaving either in selling it or renting the home. Praying for a HUGE chunk of time to be available to you and hubby to fill out the forms togther and the willingness to do it. (its a daunting task and I only have 5) God will tie all of these things up for you.
I hate filling out the same form for every child. Actually multiples of the same form for each child. And you have way more children. If they weren't on colored cards I'd fill in all the info except the names and grades on one copy and then xerox it six times!!
Who wouldn't feel overwhelmed with all that is going on!! But keep in mind....interior paint can be changed (don't we all have to re-paint often with kids anyway!!), exterior you get pretty neutral choices so even if it turns out you wish you would have picked something else, it will probably be just fine anyway, sheets can hang over windows until you find what you want, dentists/doctors can be changed when you settle into your new community and get a good handle on who is available. And surely you have thought of this since you have many much older then mine- but when I hit four in school, I stopped filling out each form. I fill in the basics, photocopy it (even keep cardstock on hand for those on that paper), then fill in the details for the child. No one has ever said a thing...instead of filling out address/doctor/contact info a thousand times each fall, I'm only doing it a hundred times (so it feels like) :) Sounds like you will be settled before the holidays with this crazy rush of work though...that's a cool thing, right?
We bought our house through a foreclosure at auction. We had driven by but neither of us had ever seen the inside of the house. A little scary? Yes, but God worked all things out. He will be with you too.
You are right. It will be alright, but it is still overwhelming at times (we have moved maybe 18 times?). So thankful that you have John who is such a calming force and loves you and wants to step in and unstress your life in any way he can. I think you should keep him;-)
Just some encouragement - God only gives us grace for the day. Like the manna that fed the Israelites for 40 years... They gathered what they needed for the day. If they tried to save some for the next day, it would spoil. That's like grace - God gives us a whole batch of grace for today. You can't save it for tomorrow's problems. You can only use it for today. But tomorrow, our big God will give you another batch of grace, just what you need for tomorrow.
Take a deep breath as you remind yourself that you will always have enough grace to get you through today.
It's good to see I'm not the only one that has moments like that. We are all human... and our emotions get the best of us most times. Hang in there, rely on John and the kids and put your trust in God knowing that he already has all of this figured out. : )
One day at a time....that's ALL we can do...praying for you
Shari(mom of 12 who's looking at moving from Canada to Ukraine in the next few months to work w/ kids there...I think we have stuff in comman)
Oh man do I sympathize. I once blogged on picking out paint colors for our new house. It got to where I just said I was not getting up from the table until I have picked.
Keep your chin up, you are a great mom! This will all work out and you will be so much happier having your hubby around all the time!:-)
You're right - everything WILL be all right. (((HUGS)))
If there is anything I can do for you on this end, just let me know! I would love to be there for you.
When we moved I lamented over paint color for a long time. I visited a show room home and loved the color so I asked what color it was. When they told me that they weren't sure, I wanted to grab the man by the collar and explain to him the severity of the situation. After some coaxing I got the paint color out of him. We settled on "Whole Wheat" by Sherwin Williams and I have been REALLY REALLY happy with it.
Oh sweetie! Hang in there! and know that we, a part of your larger family, are prayer for you all every second of every minute of every hour of every day of every week and even of every month of every year!
Blessings to you and your beautiful husband and children!
Stacy
This is a big step so it is ok to get stressed and thankfully you have a wonderfully supportive husband to help you through it and go through it with you!
I can only imagine the stress of such a move. Hang in there, I just know that you can do it! You are a strong woman, just remember to lean into that lovely hubby of yours to help keep you strong. The change is going to bring wonderful new experiences for all your family.
Hugs from Australia.
I am a person who thinks just like that! I can relate! :-) We have had a few times or two like this where he just took control and let me rest from it all! Hang in there Dear!
I am a person who thinks just like that! I can relate! :-) We have had a few times or two like this where he just took control and let me rest from it all! Hang in there Dear!
Now there is the perfect example of a wonderful (and Biblical) husband! Sometimes we just need someone to do that for us and help us through the overwhelming times. I have to say, I really, really appreciate my husband doing that when I can't handle stuff anymore.
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