Digest 18

cara said...
You are inspiring! Could you share a few tips on how you stretch your budget? We only have the two boys and we live pretty simply but we want to know what else we can do so we can save up for more adoptions.
May 4, 2010 11:16 AM

We had to learn the tough way. I married into debt and we climbed out together. That journey of sacrifice made not using credit cards a habit. It was hard for me to apply for a Kohl's card because I had to retrain myself to use a card but when I saw that it actually saved us money by getting numerous discounts and building up our credit score for paying it off in full each month I realized that credit could be a good thing too. I am frugal by nature-- my Mom taught me well in that department and I memorize prices and what's on sale. I plan where I will get gas, when I will stock up on toilet paper, and I have yet to buy a cell phone. Learning to stretch a budget is a hobby that replaced scrapbooking I guess. All that aside, I will honestly tell you that tithing and learning to do it with a cheerful heart-- even when I didn't think we had it all was what has changed our finances. Plain and simple. Though tithing has been a part of our lives ever since we became Christians-- I was the one who was always finding a way to short change God. Always-- it was my argument, "We don't tithe from that money. This month is a little harder than last. Blah blah blah." Fast forward five years and I see a huge difference when I allow God to be first. Knowing that, I still struggle once in a while... crazy isn't it?

Oh, that smile!!
I've wondered about Alex and hydrocephalus. It is very common in kids with Spina Bifida, often from birth.
Praise God that he does not suffer from that right now!
Blessings-
Deb
May 4, 2010 5:29 PM

Hi Deb-- nope no hydrocephalus for Alex. We are so thankful for that!

Michelle said...
so i have a question, which i am asking out of genuine curiosity. please take it as such - it is NOT criticism & i'm not trying to start a theological debate. just wondering what your view on this is. :-) in most denominations of Christianity that do "infant" baptism (or in this case, small child baptism) or "Christening" as it is more often called, there is also Confirmation. this is something the person does at around 13 to "confirm" their baptism - making the vows their parents took their own.
personally, i was Christened as a baby, then Confirmed at 13.
then we became members of an independent Baptist church... i switched because that church was more in line with my PERSONAL beliefs about Jesus & what the Bible says.
so at 17, i decided to be baptized. actually, my sister & Mom decided to as well (they'd been Christened also, although never Confirmed), and we were all baptized together - one at a time, but standing in the water in front of our church together, and submerged one by one. that same day, our family joined our church.
anyway, the reason I INSISTED on being baptized at that point is that my belief is that it's something a person chooses to do as a sign of their faith & obedience. our church doesn't even allow anyone to be baptized until they have a meeting with our most senior pastor & can not only answer questions to clarify that they know what they're doing, but they have to express a personal desire to do so & state their reasons on their own. there isn't an "age limit" as such but those are the guidelines. when a baby is born or a child adopted, there is a dedication ceremony where the parent pledges to raise them in a Christ-centered family & keep them active in the church, and a prayer is said (called a blessing) and the church prays together.
which leads me back to the question i said i had...
WHAT IS YOUR POSITION ON BAPTIZING ALEX & DENNIS AT THIS AGE? WERE YOUR OTHER CHILDREN BAPTIZED YOUNG, OR AT ALL?
i hope you'll take the time to not only read this but answer it. i know you somewhat explained that you were going to have Alex & Dennis baptized, but i don't recall there being a whole lot written about it, and would like to know more about your personal beliefs & about your other children's status with baptism.
looking forward to it! :-)
- michelle
May 9, 2010 2:38 PM

Michelle you have asked an awesome question. One I feel like I can't answer without sticking my foot in my mouth. You explained the different positions very well-- we just happened to be Baptists first. I guess my belief is that the topic of baptism is not one I am willing to get in an argument about. Now had you asked me this three years ago...

I was baptized as a believing adult and so were some of our other children. But they were first dedicated to the Lord much like what a baby Baptism is. Our ultimate hope is that our kids grow up to love the Lord and put their trust in Him. Whether that means them being baptized two times or five times-- I think the ultimate meaning of baptism is committing your life to the Lord, choosing to love Him with all your heart, and making a choice to accept His grace all by allowing him to wash away your sin.

Goodness and Mercy Mom said...
I love hearing your adventures as a big family and am taking mental notes on how you manage your home and family. We hope to have a house full some day, too. (Right now we have four and hope to adopt again in the coming year.)
Some day when you get a minute (hee hee), I'd love to hear how you do laundry, meal prep, grocery shopping/planning, homework, etc. I liked your post the other day on the changes with kitchen clean-up. It sounds like you have a good system for your sweet family.
God Bless,
Kathie

Kathie, I wish I could say I have this perfect laid out plan for everything I do-- but I don't. Off the top of my head I can say that I try and do laundry every single day-- I wash, the kids fold. I buy six gallons of milk at a time, four loaves of bread, and five dozen eggs. These essentials will always tide me over with whatever else I have in the pantry. I have alot of older kids so I expect them to help out-- many hands make for light work. Even Dennis has learned how to dry the silverware and put it away. Homework begins immediately when the kids get home. We do not hold off doing it until evening. This was they are still in the groove-- the bus ride gave them the break they needed-- and we are able to bust everything out in about an hour-- with playtime to look forward to. Now my highschoolers--- well they run their own schedule.

Mary said...
Try dipping the plantains in salt water before frying them. I went to a Haitian-Creole bilingual elementary school and I seem to remember that's the way we learned to do it, though it's been years since I last fried a plantain :-)
May 20, 2010 8:47 AM

I will remember that. :)

Marilyn said...
Nothing - and I mean nothing - is more fun that going away with a bunch of women, fun as in laughing and being crazy. Men have no idea. Isn't Balderdash the funniest game? You had a blast from the photos - love the dressing up to go for dinner. Who but a bunch of crazy women would do that? Good for you, and now you will be packing again. How exciting!!!!!
May 24, 2010 1:32 PM

Marilyn I couldn't agree more! I am already planning the next women's getaway!

Mary said...
Congrats to your kids for doing so well in school and in their extracurricular activities. I loved watching the skit (is it just me, or did Caleb leap over the shoulders of someone else about halfway in?) and thought he did an amazing job!
June 9, 2010 4:54 AM

Caleb is quite the extracurricular guy! This week he is escorting one of the Homecoming Queen nominees. Frankly-- I can't keep up. :)

Rachel E. said...
Praying for you, Christine. The "firsts" are tough, aren't they? (first birthday, first Christmas, etc.)
July 22, 2010 11:47 PM

Rachel E. thanks for the prayers. I know that they were answered. Paul and Anastasia feel like our easiest kids yet. Maybe because we are more experienced. ;)

Chiara Elena said...
oh plus tigella:
soo easy and delicious:
slices of potato, tomato and onion olive oil salt and fresh oregano, all in the oven for half an hour...
mmmhhhh
July 23, 2010 12:47 AM

Chiara Elena-- this sounds delicious! Do you eat it alone or on top of something?

Veronika said...
aw~ we don't have warm dinner in my family anymore (just at times, when mom or me myself find some time to make one which is not so usual)so I just grabbed some bread, butter and jam... do you cook dinner for your family everyday? (I'm so jealous :D )
July 23, 2010 1:23 AM

It brings me joy to be able to provide a home cooked meal for my family. This is the one time where we all come together and spend half an hour. It is very important to John and I that all of our children reconnect with us at the end of the day. Now that doesn't mean that every meal is gourmet-- sometimes dinner is simply fried potatoes topped with chili and cheese with fruit on the side.

Michelle said...
it's so great to see Anastasia smiling for real! what do you guys call her at home? does she still go by Nastia or do you call her Anastasia or something else?

also, i hope you'll take this question the right way... but i was wondering what your newest kids think if having siblings with both physical AND mental disabilities, like how they handle it. this is the first time you've adopted kids old enough to really have much of an opinion since Sveta, Dennis, and Alex have been home... and you've posted before about how sometimes kids you've just met or see in public aren't exactly accepting. obviously it hasn't been very long, so things like Sveta's FAS may not have really sunk in for them yet, but Dennis's appearance is something they'll have noticed straight away. have they accepted & seen past that yet? of course i think he is GORGEOUS and absolutely ADORABLE, so please take this the way i'm intending, i'm just wondering how they've reacted & if you discussed it all with them before coming back from Ukraine. :-)

if Julia decides to make those purses to sell, please let us know - i'll order one as soon as she does! i have to carry meds with me at all times, plus my emergency MedicAlert cards, so i have to have a purse of some sort with me every time i leave my house. literally. and it's hard to find cute purses these days! :-P
- michelle
July 16, 2010 10:20 PM

Anastasia goes by by Anastasia and only Anastasia now. Paul goes by Paul. Both of them have fully excepted Alex and Dennis. They play with them, help them, and seem to be even more secure in our love for them since they see how much we love Alex and Dennis. It has been a blessing all the way around.

Julia is still making purses although she hasn't had any orders lately. :)

Difference2This1 said...
I would love to read any advice you have about how to keep things more organized when school is in session. I DO buy early/on sale/off season/stock up as you mention...and do pretty well with that. But, I struggle with keeping up with the papers coming home; keeping bookbags/homework/projects from getting lost; getting respective lunchs/snacks out the door (and actually on the bus WITH them); keeping extra activity schedules straight. Hum...that sounds like I struggle with a big chunk. I guess so. That's 'cause I'm running things like I have 2 kids; not 4-soon-to-be-6. I've never had a chance to catch up my home management processes for this many. Help!! :) Jennifer
August 7, 2010 7:42 PM

I am in the midst of this. When I get it figured out believe me I'll be doing a post about it! I am in the process of organizing everything in preparation for the move. I will say that I am excited to have organized all of our writing tools. Pencils and pens have their own bin, as for the colored pencils and markers, and crayons take up two! I keep only a few of the kids' school things but I try to take pictures of the other things so that they can always refer back to it. I am excited about our new home. I plan to hold firm to the "no shoe rule" in the house which means buying shoe bins for the entryway. Our front closet is big enough to get hooks for each of the kids' backpacks so hopefully that will get rid of some of the piles I have around the house.

Andrew Necker said...
Hi Christine,
I am glad your family is adjusting well since adding 2 more!:) From your posts it seems this adjustment is coming along much more smoothly than typical older child adoptions and/or sibling adoptions. I say this because it seems that you have conquered, for the most part, some of the issues like appropriate behavior, attitudes, manners, them opening up to you, and getting to know some of their likes and dislikes. It has taken us 2.5 years to get to where you already are. I feel like some of these things I still don't think we have gotten a firm AND consistent grasp on. Do you think it has to do with each individual child, you having more IA experience, or possibly they are still in "honeymoon phase?" I am just curious b/c I feel like you are light years ahead of us when we got back from UA with our 2 older siblings. What I am asking, and I hope it's ok, is how would you compare this transition for your family relative to your other adoptions? I love hearing your sage wisdom!:)
Thank you, Kelly
August 3, 2010 2:15 AM

Kelly, the transition has been incredibly smooth after our rocky start. I must admit that looking back I am glad that we had that very rocky start because it got my behind in gear to stop honeymooning and get real. For a day or two things were not very fluffy and pretty around here but it was a turning point for our family after Anastasia and Paul realized that we were smart parents who really did mean what we say while all the while loving them and providing for them in every way that they need. If you can ask specifics maybe I can be of more help.

Tracy said...
I'm sad to hear this too. Helping families in need for no other reason than to help them doesn't seem like something that you should have been made to stop. If it was something that was done because it is how you felt that would have been entirely different. I love your ability to look at the situation and know that God will open up another opportunity. I also wanted to you to know that before finding your blog I never considered adoption. I now know in my heart that it is something that my family will do in the future. Thank you Christine!
P.S. I still think about the two teenage girls in the Ukraine that you bonded with. I wish the timing was right for us now.
July 30, 2010 11:33 AM

I think I will always help out families-- I am just doing it a little differently now. It seems that God just wanted me to slow down because I do not get as many people emailing me now. I am able to spend more time with that one particular family and still manage to spend time with my family-- so it turned out to be a good thing. Luda and Luba are still heavy on my heart as is little Anna and all the other children at that orphanage. Maybe mentioning them will spark a new interest.

Katie said...
Hi Christine, I live in Southern CA (in the San Fernando Valley) and if there's anything I can do to help please let me know. Praying for you and your family.
Best,
Katie
August 17, 2010 9:35 PM

Thanks Katie! I appreciate it. Likewise, let me know if there is something I can do.

mommytoalot said...
You are right..this parenting thing is hard.
I've only got six and we deal with many of the behaviours you are dealing with.
...except the slip thing..(my gosh i havent' worn a slip in years..but i'm not much of a skirt dress person) colouring on the wall, sassiness, not listening, telling tall tales etc. i would say my biggest challenge is Joe's behaviour because it totally takes over. He is 10 but is very much like a big two year old..it's weary and draining but i love him no less
xx
August 15, 2010 4:51 AM

I think these challenges help us to grow as parents, don't you? Not that I wouldn't be fine to not have them but I think it always helps to remember that we learn from our life experiences. Hope you guys have a great week!

Katy said...
I was wondering how you pronounce Anastasia's name. Is it like "an-a-STAY-zha" or "an-a-STAHS-ee-a" or something else?
August 9, 2010 3:48 PM

We pronounce it the first way.

Annie said...
Do any of your children have "issues" with birthdays? They are such a terrible stressor for Anastasia that I dread them. Her own is actually worse than other peoples' but they are all bad.
This looks like a fun day.
August 22, 2010 6:13 AM

They do have a few jealousy issues but it is not an adoption issue per say. I just remind my kids that today is that child's special day and that if they can't be happy for that sibling then they need to spend time in their room away from the thing that makes them be not so nice to be around. We also spend birthdays differently depending on the child and we explain why celebrating their birthday this particular way will actually help ensure that they have a great birthday instead of one where they will most likely act out in such a way that will get them in trouble. Afterall, what fun is it to be in trouble on your birthday?

Stephanie said...
Could you do a post on how you handle tattle tailing and bickering with so many kids...especially in the car?!
August 22, 2010 8:04 AM

I wish I could say that I had a handle on this problem. I have no words of wisdom here-- really.

savings said...
I'm glad things are working out well! Can I ask about the language issue in school though? Do they have an ESL class they take, or an interpreter? I would think that they would be completely lost in school right now. Can you explain this a bit more?
August 19, 2010 8:54 AM

They are lost in school academically but they are being immersed in the English language more than I could do here at home. They are also learning rules, how to get along with other kids, and how to communicate with someone who knows nothing of their language. It is tough and I go back and forth with how beneficial school is for them right now, but I think they are where they need to be. They are sharpening their math skills, learning the alphabet, learning cursive, and phonics. School is slowly but surely coming. They do get pulled out for ESL but they do not have a translator. Siblings on campus help out if there is a misunderstanding or one of the teachers will call home. It is going as well as to be expected. If I have learned anything over the past five years is that there is no need to get all worked up over their immediate academic needs because more than anything they need the foundation of love and nurturing from a family. Once that is accomplished the learning will come.