Two Weeks Home

I am so pleased with how our whole family is adjusting. Sometimes I wait in anticipation for something big to happen because I've been conditioned to think that it is just a matter of time before something turns our world upside down. And then it doesn't happen and I think how foolish I was. And I think again-- how beautiful adoption is.

Now to say that things are perfect-- that would be a stretch, but our family never has been perfect and probably never will be. The bickering continues-- and my English speaking children try to get their point across as much as my Russian speaking children do. And somehow they pretty much get each other to understand what the other is saying and life goes on. John and I think it is hilarious the way Anastasia and Paul talk to us like we completely understand their language. They spill their hearts out to us about how Andrew splashed one of them or how Jonny won't stop tickling their feet underwater-- well it is more Anastasia but both do it. And John and I get the gist of what they are saying and they seem to approve when we tell Jonny or Andrew to cut it out, but in all honesty we only understood maybe one or two words out of everything they say. But we pretend to know because we know it makes them feel safe.

And to say that there wasn't a moment or two last week where I felt overwhelmed..... wondering if I could even be a mother to these two new children-- would be a lie. Because I did. And yet having been through this before-- I knew my feelings were normal... and I pressed forward... and I didn't allow them to consume me... and so they didn't.

To share this openly I feel that perhaps I could be told "Told you so", or I could scare off prospective adoptive parents, or even worse-- I could hurt Anastasia and Paul if they ever read this. Yet--- I can take it if someone wanted to rub our adoption in our face, and I somehow think that I wouldn't be scaring off prospective parents as much as I would be preparing them, and most importantly I think I might actually bring Anastasia and Paul a little comfort knowing that I felt the same exact way they were felt at first. Choosing to make a family through adoption is not easy-- it takes work on everyone's part-- but it is so worth it-- and I can already see the worth as I think they can too.

As I type this, Anastasia and Anna are sitting next to me watching Justin Bieber videos and Paul is sitting next to John and Andrew watching Wall-E. This after a fun day of swimming, eating hamburgers, watermelon, Otter Pops, and ice-cream-- and best of all Anastasia letting me sit next to her and watch her organize her clothes and pick out an outfit for church tomorrow. This is a big milestone for my daughter who didn't even really want her sisters' help with anything last week-- now she is opening up as she is realizing that we all help each other.

Today makes exactly two weeks being home. The progress we have all made adjusting as a family is no small feat. If it wasn't all of us doing some adjusting it would not be working as well or as quickly. This has meant some pretty intense parenting for all the kids-- but it has paid off. Maybe I will risk it and share more about this very topic.... soon.

I guess I will close with this. I know that Anastasia and Paul have been through a lot in their lives-- with a lot of loss, and grief to deal with-- but they were orphans-- they are no longer orphans-- and to treat them like they are any different would be a tragedy. Their past does not dictate the amazing person God has planned for them to become.

Heck-- they are already amazing. And it shows.