For the past few months, maybe longer, I have been wondering if me helping with struggling families was what I was supposed to be doing. I went back and forth with whether or not I should just stop altogether. It seemed like no matter how much I wanted to do good... I could never please everyone.
Well today I got my answer. Today I was informed that if I wanted to continue helping struggling families to be connected with families that could help them I would have to become a registered adoption facilitator. And in all honesty.... I just do not have the time or money.... nor did I ever want any money in return-- so what would be the point?
Today I feel like this door has been closed. Though I will continue to leave my door open to struggling families who want to email and talk, I will no longer be posting anything on my blog. And I am okay with that...... because with every door that is shut, I trust that God turns around and opens another.
19 inspiring thoughts:
Honestly, I feel very sad to hear that. You have perspective, experience, wisdom and discernment and all you are doing is making people aware of a possible placement, not acting as an agency on their behalf. Frankly, I don't know how anyone could ENFORCE you to get training but I do believe that if you have been praying and wondering that God is a God Who opens and closes doors when we are seeking Him.
You have been such a blessing to so many families.
The Word says that He who refreshes others will himself be refreshed.
May you experience that in abundance.
I agree with Holly..how can anyone MAKE you do anything. How is helping someone in crisis(which adoption agencies don't seem to do POST adoption) a problem. Ridiculous.
You are right, with this door closing another one will open WIDE for you!
I do agree with Holly there would be no way to ENFORCE you from posting a letter that a mother has written on your blog. I just cannot believe how backwards our society is regarding adoption, it is like no one wants to look at the dirty secret of the MILLIONS of older/special needs kids ALL over the world that need a family. People in our society view adoption is A)expensive B) Hard C) 2nd best D) mostly troubled/damaged children. And it seems to me EVERY person who makes their living off of adoption wants to keep it that way. How much more simple and easy is it to post a heartfelt letter to an online community full of like minded people, and then decide to futher on with a registered adoption facilitator...you certinaly are not doing homestudies! If a birth mother can choose who gets her child, by reading a newspaper ad, could not an adoptive mother choose to give her child to someone who emailed her thru a blog? I think YES because the STATE (or agency social worker) would verify these people as having met the requirements. But apperantly anything that is free and helpful for children would not be allowed in adoption...if someone didnt make money on it - it must be bad!
Check out this link http://www.parentprofiles.com/home/professionals/ it is very intersting. They are a site that allows anyone to create a profile and birthmothers can scour thru them day and night, and then can make contact with them directly to place there new born with them. Helping older special needs children and struggling adoptive moms is just not acceptable, maybe we need our own site...where we can post profiles, mine would be the first.
Thanks Christine, you are so amazing your doors are all Open you just have to pick which one to walk thru.
Hmmmm....this whole issue always brings me back to the stories I've read about "family helping family". In the past, children could go to stay with an aunt and uncle or grandparents "in the country" during summers. Parents saw that their children needed to get out of the cities, away from poor influences and just be kids. I wonder how many of those "aunts and uncles" were, in fact, always biologically related and how many were just friends of the family helping out another family in crisis and getting a little help with the farm. I know that's not the way society works now. Everything must be regulated to death - every t crossed, every i dotted. That doesn't always make it beneficial for the child or the family in the end.
Sometimes "family" comes in a much different package than what we'd expect.
I'm sure you're content with your decision, you've gotten the answer from Him - but while it may seem like one door has been closed, maybe that window sitting open next to it will bring forth another whole adventure in the adoption world.
You know, I'm going to say good for you, Christine. I cannot imagine how stressful and difficult it must be to put all you've got into helping people only to be faced with criticism and heartache in return. There is nothing more frustrating that pouring yourself into a situation and then watching other people reject what you say and do whatever they're going to do anyway. That takes a huge toll on a family, especially yours.
While I don't agree with someone saying you MUST be registered in order to continue helping people, I have often wondered, especially lately, if what you've been posting regarding trying to help other families isn't just a lawsuit waiting to happen. I'd sure hate to see that happen to you or your family.
So, be at peace with your decision and move forward. There is still plenty you can do in recommending potential "professionals" and "options" for people to check out on their own. There's still plenty you can share regarding adoption and making families work. But, I can definately see the wisdom in bowing out of the matchmaking service you were doing, simply for the sake of your own family and sanity.
Really? You've got all this personal experience, and you being a private individual can't have private individuals ask you private and individual questions? That, to me, doesn't make the sound of a door closing. It sounds more like a test.
By the way, I've been meaning to say, you have a beautiful family. I think of all the smiles, Alex has the best, William is next...but, shhh, don't tell the rest.
:( I'm sad to hear this because I was hoping we would be able to be a family who adopted through a disruption some day. But I know you prayed about it. Thank you for all the work you did to unite children with their forever families. You will be blessed abundantly in heaven :)
Sad about this. For those who have decided this, are they ready to step into the gap? Do they have a caring, loving, encouraging person to spend countless unheard answers with families in crisis, to try and keep them together and then, when they can't, lovingly support them through the most difficult decision of their lives?
Somehow I doubt it.
Once again, families will be let down, unsupported and isolated.
There is a unique perspective that only an adoptive family who has been through the trenches can offer.
Thank you Christine for your countless hours of hidden work. The Lord is your reward.
And it seems that for now, He has said to rest that area of your life. :)
But He will never ask us to rest in loving others.
I agree with what everyone is saying above. It is too bad that you cannot connect families anymore. You helped many families in the past and hopefully just by lending an ear to others you can still help families in the future.
there must be a reason.
That's sad. And since you are just introducing families to each other I don't see how anyone can complain. It's not like you are doing the paperwork and acting as their lawyers. It's sad that others can keep someone from doing something that blesses others.
I'm so sad to hear this. You were doing a wonderful thing, helping CHILDREN that needed to find a loving family. I'm sorry, your blog is a wonderful piece of information about adoption, love and family.
I'm sad to hear this too. Helping families in need for no other reason than to help them doesn't seem like something that you should have been made to stop. If it was something that was done because it is how you felt that would have been entirely different. I love your ability to look at the situation and know that God will open up another opportunity. I also wanted to you to know that before finding your blog I never considered adoption. I now know in my heart that it is something that my family will do in the future. Thank you Christine!
P.S. I still think about the two teenage girls in the Ukraine that you bonded with. I wish the timing was right for us now.
That's a bummer...I thought you were good at it and did so much good. This country is getting ridiculous with all the paperwork and fees to do ANYTHING!
Wow. You're not allowed to help people? That's pretty sad in my opinion. I think that what you were doing was wonderful and I never understood why some people were so hateful about it. But you are right...another door WILL open for you.
I'm very sad to hear this but fully understand that you have to do what fits in your life not what any of us would like to see you doing. Blessings to you in all you do and have done, I think you have a GREAT heart!
I would not have one of my beautiful daughters if it was not through you and your willingness to help others...I understand the "legal" aspect, but it breaks my heart that a child may not find a place as quickly or as easily because you can no longer do this. But I do know that He has a plan much bigger than ours. Blessing Christine.
I am sorry to hear that. If it wasn't for you and your blog, those Ethiopian siblings wouldn't have found their forever family. But on the flip side, I am glad you will have more time for your own family now.
Who could possibly tell you that?
Would you have to register if you were passing on information about a Sunday school class that needed a new teacher? A person needing a new counselor? A family wanting to sell their house?
Seems to me you are simply passing on information from one person to another. You aren't vetting anyone, or verifying anything at all.
I'm so sorry, because I'm still holding out hope for another child, and figured you were one more outlet.
No; no one is ever happy - but they aren't probably happy with the way you feed your children, or educate them, or discipline them, or adopt them or even that you have so many!
I don't think you should be dissuaded. I informally assist our agency in finding homes for one child or another....and ask her to assist when people contact me privately; couldn't you do what you do under the auspices of your agency?
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