Rachel said...
Just wanted to let you know I gave you an award over on my blog! Have fun with it!
Rachel
http://reapingwhatisow.blogspot.com/
April 12, 2010 8:53 AM
Wow, thanks Rachel! How nice of you to include me. It looks like we have alot in common. I don't Twitter, I would jump at the chance to move although there are so many things I love about us living here, and I love to cook and bake. Sorry, I have never blogged in the bathroom-- although it sounds really peaceful.
According to the rules, I have to share 10 honest things about myself with you, and then pass the award on to ten of my favorite bloggers. Here it goes!
1. I love to sing in the car!
2. I do not take Hormone Replacement Therapy now that I have had a hysterectomy for fear that it could increase my chances of getting breast cancer.
3. I can't wait for Toy Story 3 to come out! It will be the first movie I have seen all year.
4. All of my kids that know how to play the Wii can play much better than I can.
5. I share my shoes with three of my daughters because we all wear the same size.
6. I didn't go to church this past Sunday.
7. I hate getting medical bills that should have been paid by insurance. They are such a hassle to take care of.
8. The pair of shoes that I am wearing right now are six years old.
9. I can't stand a floor that is not swept. Between all of us, the floor gets swept at least three times a day.
10. Most of the time I put on my seatbelt after I have started driving down the road--- me bad.
Now I tag Cara, Holly, Christina, Anna, Donna, Tumbleweedgirl, Mama in Uganda, Renee, Angela, and Molly. Congrats! You are all awesome women!
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nadia said...
I am a Russian born American citizen that has lived in U.S. for nineteen years. What this woman did is awful and would harm other good families like yours from adopting the kids. Good thing she didn't murder this child like the recent American adoptive parents did to other Russian kids. I think Russia should not let pure blooded Americans adopt these kids, because we don't want them to take chances. Once these kids are adopted, they are out of sight, we don't know what kind of abuse they will sustain. Let Russian people living in U.S. adopt Russian kids. Some Americans are truly crazy like this mental mother from Tennessee. Outrageous!
April 10, 2010 11:43 PM
Hi Nadia. Your comment has some truth to it, but I don't think that keeping Americans from adopting Russian children is the answer. Children need families... children need love. It may be the answer for the few that end up in homes that are not equipped to raise a child, but I do believe that the majority of Russian children that are adopted by Americans are incredibly blessed to have a family that has chosen to love them forever. I do not think Russian parents would treat the kids any better just because they happen to be Russian.
BTW, I am Russian-- from both sides of my family.
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Holly said...
Well? Please share! What does infant or young child baptism mean?!?
Inquiring minds want to know! :)
April 15, 2010 6:39 AM
Hi Holly, I don't think I am going to explain this very well, but I will try. I think a child baptism is similar to a baby dedication. It's not the same as a person declaring on their own that they are accepting Christ into their lives and being born again as it is with believer's baptism but it is John and I declaring to the church that we are choosing to raise our child in a Christ-centered home and the church reciprocally declaring support of such. To us, baptizing the boys means sewing the seeds of the Christian faith into the fabric of their being which may not make sense but baptism is a sacrament which means "mysterious" so it is ok not to fully understand...it replaces an old tradition of males becoming into the family of God via circumcision on the 8th day--also something done without the child's knowledge/consent.
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sylsumida said...
Cannon Rebel! It is an SLR and takes AMAZING photos! Bought it at Costco for $800. Pricey but certainly one of the best investments I have ever made and it has certainly more than paid for itself the past 4 years.....and still doing great! Can take up for 440 photos too!
April 15, 2010 5:25 PM
I have enjoyed my Canon too! After checking out all of the suggested cameras, I am leaning towards this one. But....
Molly said...
We have the Olympus Stylus 850 SW. It is just a point and shoot, but it is freezeproof, shockproof and waterproof. You can drop it from 5 feet, take it in a swimming pool, etc. We've done both-- even dropped it when horseback riding once and it was fine. I bet it would be a blast taking it in the pool in the summer. Ours is almost two years old and still going strong. We have a nice, expensive camera and then this one and we almost always reach for this one, because we don't have to worry about breaking it.
April 15, 2010 5:26 PM
This one sounds really cool and practical-- perfect for our family! I know they are totally different but I think I would enjoy either one! Now how to choose.... that is the question.
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Sally-Girl! said...
Love Phase 10! Lauren and I addicted to it and also SLAM now too!
April 16, 2010 7:42 PM
I saw that Phase 10 is a card game too and SLAM sounds like a fast and quick variation to Scrabble. How fun! Any other quick and fun game suggestions???
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Anonymous said...
Hi Christie! First of all, I would say you and your family is totally delightful! Thank you for sharing!
My name is Lera and I’m russian. I’ve seen you on youtube and now read your blog from time to time. It’s very fascinating :)My english as you see is fair to middling, but Russian is ok :) So, if you need any help with translation or with finding something in russian (like cartoons, movies or something else), I’ll be glad to help you with the greatest pleasure!
I haven’t blog here, so you can mail me on kakbiya @ mail.ru
April 18, 2010 5:33 AM
You are so thoughtful. Thank you for your offer. I will keep you in mind. What part of Russia do you live in?
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Paige said...
She looks SO MUCH like Julia.. and I see William too. So, I'm with everyone else...could she maybe be a Reed?
April 18, 2010 8:34 PM
We would have loved to see her become a Reed. However, as things are right now, that is not possible. Our hope is that one day she will be adopted by a caring family.
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Tina in CT said...
What is the speaking engagement for?
April 19, 2010 3:27 AM
I was asked to be the guest speaker four months ago to a small group of older ladies that meet regularly at their church. A few of the ladies and I go way back--- nearly 12 years when we worked in a young Mom's ministry similar to MOPS together. I was nervous at first, as usual, but I ended up having a wonderful time--- the ladies made me feel so welcome.
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Lisa said...
I just have a few questions. Is Sweet Miss O, a respite visitor? Is she up for adoption? Yes it was a fantastic warm nice weekend and today it rains which is nice too.
I had to giggle about the Home town buffet, my kids love that place but I hate it. I much perfer the Golden Corral, which is an hour away so we only go every few months, its so worth it, strangly enough I only eat the mashed taters and the pot roast gravy and corn but its so yummy!!!
I will be praying for peace and calm for you tomorrow. Speak from the heart and you will be fine.
April 20, 2010 8:27 AM
Miss O was here on a host program. We didn't host a child but we signed up to be an alternate if any of the children needed a home while they were here. The opportunity came up so we agreed to have Miss O for the remainder of her visit. However, after just a few days, the family was able to take her back. I do not think she is eligible for adoption at this time--- hosting programs are just that--- hosting programs. It is wonderful when it works out that the child you host is the one you end up adopting-- but just as we learned, that is not always the case.
BTW, We have eaten at Golden Corral too--but it has been years!
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ЮЛИЯ said...
Christine, there is many European/Russian/Slavic/Ukranian food markets in the US. The go by different names but I am positive there are several in California. There are also on-line stores. Here is a link to the Russian sunflower seeds you can order in the US: http://www.russiantable.com/store/find.asp?find_spec=%F1%E5%EC%E5%F7%EA%E8
Our family loves sunflower seeds and we buy them all the time.
April 24, 2010 10:28 AM
Thank you so much! I have yet to find a Russian market where we live. I have to look and see if they sell Seputchkas!
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sqeaky has left a new comment on your post "A Great Question":
I'm not saying he doesn't look 150 % better but he is still shocking to look at. You cannot blame that or peoples reaction to him on "bad parenting".
Posted by sqeaky to Smiles and Trials at April 23, 2010 6:07 PM
I beg to differ. I am pretty sure that most everyone young and old has been introduced to the concept-- treat others as you want to be treated. I personally don't like being stared at or made fun of or being called fat or ugly-- so I don't do that to others. Is that too much to expect from people-- common decency--- really?
Speaking of treating others as you want to be treated, I was walking Alex and Dennis to the preschool class just as some of the kids were coming out of the cafeteria. One girl was gawking, and wincing as she oohed and aahed at Dennis to which I replied-- Please don't stare, just keep walking out to the playground--- would you like to be stared at? She turned around and ignored me as I rushed the boys to the classroom. A little miffed by not only her behavior but mine as well, I chalked this up to yet another Mama Bear protects her baby cub from hurtful people moment. To my surprise, this little girl and her friend met up with me and Dennis as we were walking back to the van. The little girl was crying and immediately apologized for staring. I could tell she felt bad. I knelt down and told them how beautiful it was that they came over to us because most people wouldn't bother. We began a conversation and I explained what had happened to Dennis. These two girls were so precious---- what a powerful way God used them. What a wonderful encouragement they were to me today.
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Jennell said...
International adpotions need to be reformed, I don't get why parents like this are allowed to adopt in the first place.
April 22, 2010 6:30 AM
Jennell, I personally think that adoptions do not need reforming--- not much else can be done in order for adoptive parents to prove on paper that they are prepared to parent an adopted child. As it is, the amount of hoops that adoptive parents have to jump through is utterly ridiculous mainly because of its redundancy. Fingerprinting three times?? And what about birth parents who neglect and abuse these children in the first place that make them available for adoption? There is really no difference, and yet they don't have to prove anything when they decide to become a parent. A teenage, homeless, drug addicted girl can choose to become a Mom and yet I have to jump through 20 more hoops just because some other woman returns her child? How would that prevent me from doing something to my adopted child if I wanted to? It doesn't. However, I think it would be incredibly helpful if adoption agencies shared realistically the challenges that could arise from raising an adopted child. If they were more honest, I think some people would think twice before adopting-- which would undoubtedly lower the number the adoptions, but in the long run I think it would be more helpful for parents to really understand what they are getting into. Agencies should also share stories like the one about the Tennessee woman so that families can be aware that there is help available instead of resorting to doing what this Mom did. It would also be helpful if adoptive families were hooked up with a local adoption community before they ever adopted. We found local adoptive families before we even signed with our agency so that we could get a glimpse of how our family might look and feel like after we brought home our children. It was an eye opener for us to talk with other families about the ups and downs that they were going through.
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Anonymous said...
My heart goes out to these precious children and their parents. I believe their is a family out their that they will flourish in. What a difficult decision to have to make. I do believe my husband and I will once again adopt from UA or possibly thru disruption. I will keep these siblings in my thoughts and hope to hear the right family has been found very soon.
Kelly Selkirk-Ohio
Thank you to all who lifted these children up in prayer. It seems as if the prayers have been answered. Numerous families inquired about making these children a part of their family-- the show of love and support nothing short of amazing. The struggling family believes they have found the right family for these siblings but your continued prayers would be much appreciated. Praying that everything works out.
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11 inspiring thoughts:
Board game suggestions - oh where to start. Our family love Eurogames. The great thing about them is that you often don't know who has won til you tally up at the end, so nobody is losing the entire game. Also, they often involve co-operative play. Pandemic is a good example of this - where you are playing as a group against the board. Really stretches you strategically.
Some great ones that are must haves are:
Ticket to Ride (need to be able to read) and Settlers of Catan (probably aged 7 and up). There are many many more.
Risk can be good - but can also result in family members getting very very upset with each other. On the upside, it teaches them strategy and diplomacy, as well as the consequence of betrayal. Your older boys in particular would probably love it.
For larger groups, Ligretto (formerly Dutch Blitz) is absolutely brilliant. There are 3 sets to choose from so if you get all three you can have up to 12 people playing at once - crazy fun game.
Taboo - great describing game.
Absolute Balderdash - making up definitions to words, famous people, movie plots, etc.
Cranium is a fun family game - you can get younger children versions too.
I posted about the boardgamegeeks website the other day - still highly recommend it. Great way to see if a game you are looking at is actually likely to be any good.
We are a board game family, and there are some great ones out there that don't necessarily end in hurt feelings or boredom. We have some great games that we have been happy to play many many times over.
Concerning the lady sending the Russian boy home, I think that reporting is to blame for people thinking that adoptions are the issue--for instance, if a teen commits a crime, the news will often say it was an adopted child but you never hear the news say, "Today a biological child committed a terrible crime." And look at all the kids in foster care--they were hurt by birth parents and nothing is said but if a child is hurt by an adoptive parent it will be all over the news. And you never hear good news--today two thousand adoptive moms took time to to take their adoptive kids to the park or went to watch their soccer game or spent time reading to them. You only hear about the adoptions that go wrong. Okay, enough on that. You get my point.
A great board game is the card game Quiddler. It is a spelling card game that can be played with different ages and abilities. I want to second what Christine said about pre-adoptive parents getting involved ahead of time with other adoptive parents, especially those adopting from similar countries. I got involved with a large group of families from Ukraine and Russia before my son arrived and he has loved the close contact with the other kids that have shared his same experiences, and it is great to talk through the hurdles with other parents.
Just noticed I was nominated! How fun. Thanks.
Thank you for the tag! I don't do these on my blog since mine is just kids updates, but I appreciate the thought!
Kathy C - I SO agree with you - the media skews things so horribly. I had a pet peeve about the "adopted" thing prior to adopting; my other one is "former altar boy". Come on! When people accomplish great things, no one ever mentions that they were once an altar boy....but almost every Catholic boy is an altar boy at one time or another.
Oh - and to Nadia - I'm ALMOST offended...but not quite. Since I've loved Russian and studied the language and literature since I was twelve years old - would I get a pass? But, the sad and amusing thing is how many Americans think that every Russian orphan is in danger of being abused, maltreated and murdered in RUSSIA! I amaze people when I say that the orphanages were poor, but that my children's caregivers are loving and really care about the children.
WE only get stories in the media about the children who are left without human contact, and the babies whose mouths are taped shut to prevent them from crying. Meanwhile, the Russian media portrays our worst, and yet most un-representative examples, too.
I was wondering if I could just clarify something we learned as adoptive parents that might be helpful to others reading your blog. You mentioned to Jenelle in your Apr 22 reply about the importance of prospective adoptive parents researching and preparing themselves and that there is help out there. Please note that the availability of help in many cases depends very heavily on the adoption agency (ours went out of business, never returned phone calls after we got back to the states with the child, and did not send the required post adoption reports back to the country, and every other agency we have turned to has said they won't help because we did not use them for the adoption) as well as the state you live in. Some states (Florida, for example) I have heard has a post-adoption program of visits by social workers trained in adoption issues, access to state agencies for counseling, respite, resources, etc. Our state, Texas has nothing. We have researched and discovered from many sources that the Texas legislature is very much against funding any type of post adoption "help" from any state agencies. We have been told by several residential treatment centers in other states that if we didn't live in Texas, they could help find resources for us to help pay for various services that are not covered by our health insurance. Even agencies that we contacted like United Way, said they have programs for children, but not for ours due to her specific issues. Many other places we called only had help if we were on state assistance (Medicaid, welfare type things) or only had services for the child only if they were in the CPS system and/or we were only fostering. It sounds like California might have better pre as well as post adoption services. Bottom line is that since many of your readers could be in many states, so if you are thinking about adopting internationally, please be aware that "help" is a very vague term depending on the state and you should ask agencies to be very specific about what is available. Also, please research the possible behaviors/issues that are common to international adoptees and ask the agency what help is out there for those specific issues (I am speaking mainly for those who adopt non-infant children). We were very surprised to learn that some issues require very different parenting than what one might first think. Thanks so much and hope this helps someone that might be thinking of adopting an older child.
I think you are right about the difficulty of finding "help" - at least in terms of free or reasonably-prices counseling services, etc.
In Michigan it is also much as you describe.
However - I differ with you on one thing. Trauma can occur in utero, and it can occur in the first weeks, and certainly months of life. So, trauma issues can be found in infants, babies and toddlers too - and it is much less easy to detect.
While there CAN be long-term trauma issues in international adoption, I am beginning to believe that the occurrence of RAD, for example is far less common than some think. I know SO MANY successful older child adoptions - probably over 50, and of that number, only a couple of adoptions with problems. Obviously, we HEAR about the problems, and may not even know that the child whose inclusion in the family was easy, was adopted at all! (I recently discovered quite by accident - looking at baptismal records - that some lovely children in our parish were adopted from Russia and Guatemala.)
Finding out about a child's early history and present behavior is probably a lot more valuable than doing a ton of reading about problems that probably won't occur. I was recently reading an article by Dr. Gindis, an expert in internationally adopted children and their problems. He said what I have felt - that RAD is over-diagnosed because the natural stresses of the grief of leaving all they've known and acclimating to a new country, family and language, as well as the parents' own issues with bonding are often mistaken for more serious problems in the child. This is one reason why adoption after disruption is often successful - the child did not really have the problems that the original adoptive parents presumed they had.
Hi, I just wanted to tell you...I just found your blog, and my family is currently struggling. Your straightforward, loving, and forgiving posts have helped me to remember why we are doing this, and instead of just feeling anger and frustration, I'm reminded to try to put myself in my daughter's shoes, too. Something I've gotten out of the habit of doing, I'm afraid. But something I'll be striving to work on in the near future. Thanks again for your wonderful blog.
[url=http://www.pi7.ru/main/1664-rossiyane-gotovyat-novuyu-volnu-emigracii.html ]С чего начать обучение английскому языку дошкольников? [/url]
Дамы, подскажите, у кого была такая проблема. Ищу средства - народные, аптечные, люкс - для выравнивания цвета лица. Кожа умеренно жирная, ближе к нормальной, быстро загорает, структура довольно неровная, краснеет от всякого воздействия. Хотелось бы выровнять цвет и приблизится к фарфоровому личику. Спасибо за советы.
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