I am sitting here typing with snot running down my nose, eyes watering, and head stuffy. Not a pretty sight-- but hey-- what can you do when you are sick. And sick I am. I have a cold. First time this year-- and it feels yucky. I regret all that nose-rubbing and cuddling I did with Alex and Dennis the other day--- hopefully they won't get sick too.
And it is not like, I can turn off my responsibilities and go crawl back into bed. Life goes on-- God please give me energy and strength!
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Yesterday the weather was perfect so I did yard work while the little boys played outside. I noticed that most of our bikes and ride on toys (not the electric ones) that they use are in bad shape. The two tricycles that are still rideable don't fit Alex's body very well-- so now I am on a quest today to find a bike (possibly to give him for his birthday) that he can at least sit on and move around. I wonder if there are bikes specially designed for children with Spina Bifida. Ideally, a tricycle with an adjustable seat, and pedals that are like slippers where the feet just slip in, but stay in place would be wonderful. Does such a bike exist?
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This morning, I asked kids to help out with the chores like they do every morning. Two kids unload the dishwasher, two kids load, one takes out the trash, one feeds the animals, one wipes off the island, etc. Many hands make for light work! One of my children was asked to do three little things---- wipe around the faucet, gather all the kitchen rags, and take them upstairs. As I noticed her walking up the stairs to put the rags in the laundry room, I saw that she had not gathered all the rags nor had she wiped around the faucet. When I asked her about it, she said she didn't remember the other chores. Watching this child remember things that are important to her time and time again-- I just didn't buy it. I announced to her that if she didn't quickly do the other two chores she would be grounded for the next two weeks.
**Light bulb went off!**
She quickly did the other two things (which if you notice were in a logical order and she chose to originally do only the last thing.) Thank you.
"You know. After all these years it is just so sad to see, that you still don't have the desire to take to heart what I ask of you. It is sad to see how most times you will only follow through doing what you are supposed to do if there is a consequence involved. It is sad to see that you choose to do what is right not for the sake of doing right but only when doing it benefits you in some way. In this case, remembering to do all three chores was in your best interests because you didn't want to get grounded. Why couldn't you just remember and do the three chores just because I, your Mama who loves you, asked you?"
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On another note, we are celebrating Alex's birthday tomorrow! He is so excited! Five is a wonderful age! What a big boy!
P.S. Did I mention that Alex only uses his forearm crutches to get around? When I asked him if he wanted to use his walker-- he shook his head no and yelled, "I walk my crutches!"
21 inspiring thoughts:
For the young lady who uses "I forgot" as her excuse for not following through with what's required of her, have you thought of using a visual schedule for her. A visual prompt will not only take away that excuse, it will also serve as a memory booster, if her excuse is at all legitimate. The visual can be as simple as a quickly jotted down "To Do" list on a scrap of paper that she pops into her pocket and refers to, to jotting them on the white board under her name, to something more elaborate like photos showing each chore velcro'd to a chore-board belonging to her if reading is a problem for this particular child. As she completes each task, she checkmarks beside it, or removes the photo-prompt into a "Done" envelope. And while I agree that some kids only seem to comply when there's something in it for them, as may be the case with her, it's also possible, that she IS more able to retain what's required when there is something in it for her, as it gives her mind motive to work hard enough to retain it. I'm not making excuses for her, but I do know that SOMETIMES behaviours that APPEAR willful aren't always within the child's control. I just wanted to give you a second perspective. :o)
Can you tell I work with Special Needs kids?
For some reason some children will just want to see how far they can go. Others just go with the flow. It all comes down to different personalities. My two girls were, and are, as different and chalk and cheese. They each have two children and they have found that with their kids too. Kids! - but what would we do without them. Imagine how boring life would be!
I love reading your blog Christine. I think you and your whole family are lovely.
"You know. After all these years it is just so sad to see, that you still don't have the desire to take to heart what I ask of you. It is sad to see how most times you will only follow through doing what you are supposed to do if there is a consequence involved. "It is sad to see that you choose to do what is right not for the sake of doing right but only when doing it benefits you in some way. In this case, remembering to do all three chores was in your best interests because you didn't want to get grounded. Why couldn't you just remember and do the three chores just because I, your Mama who loves you, asked you?"
Just change that Mama to 'God' and direct toward me and I confess I do the same thing to my heavenly Father.
Hi Christine! So sorry you are sick. I'm just getting over a cold as well. A great tricycle for Alex is made by Amtryke. There is a program that gives them away to children with special needs through their company, however I am not sure if this is just a local program or if it is national. Let me know if you have trouble finding the website and I'll send it to you. Kate
Just sent you an e-mail re the bike question.
Awww.. I know exactly what you mean... my children often won't do their chores unless there is a reward or a consequence.. It is frustrating. But hopefully after much practice, they will learn to enjoy helping momma as with your kids. Once it becomes habit, it will become less of a burden.. I find that with myself... some days, and when I make it fun.. with techniques such as music, timers and more :) Hope you get well soon! No fun being a momma with resposibilities, and being sick!!
There are bikes for special needs like you describe. One to look into is Ameritrykes, which are given free to special need kids by AMBUCS, a professional organization . There are also ones on the internet that you can order yourself, but they are pricey. Take care, Laurie
There are lots of special needs trikes out there, but they are very expensive! I'd try Craig's list or free-cycle www.freeecycle.org or see if there is a local special needs directory for swapping and selling items that are no longer needed.
Another option could be fitting special pedals to a regular trike.
You could have a look here to see some special needs trikes
http://www.amtrykestore.org/
Radio Flyer also makes a trike like you have described. My daughter is not special needs, but she has one and loves it!
Hi Christine! I pray that you recover quickly from the illness. I have a child who does the same thing. It's just I can't give him more than two directions at a time then he gets overwhelmed. Sometimes I get frustrated but I have to remember that's him and he needs a bit of a different direction than the other child. As far as the bike. Look for an Amtryke. It is meant for children with disabilities. It's very expensive. Maybe insurance could help with it. Much love. Take care.
I was so exhausted this week, I went home and fell into bed, and BEGGED to be left alone for just an hour to nap - as I had to go BACK to work after dinner. But, Anastasia, for some reason cannot stand for me to take a nap. It is as though she sees it as abandonment. She keeps coming in, just as I'm about to sleep....it is just about worse than not lying down. And then Zhen, too...he gets worried, and wakes me up asking if I'm "all right" or bringing me a cup of tea, or a hot water bottle. Oh, dear.
Anyway, that memory is in my mind as I think of you unable to rest. Good luck finding a bit of time to get well in.
A suggestion for a tricyle for Alex is for you to contact his specialist as they would probably be able to steer in the direction if such a tricyle exists.
Happy birthday to Alex.
Hope your cold dries up. Nyquil at bedtime.
Hello, I have been reading your blog and I just love it. Wanted to say that I hope you feel better soon. I also wanted to share a link for this bike I found online. It may be a good match for your son.
http://www.ambucs.org/amtryke/
Best wishes
Great parenting talk there regarding the chores. I may have to borrow that tactic.
I had to smile that Alex is determined to get around without his walker. Determination seems to be a strong part of him.
And finally I'm sorry to here that you're ill. Being a Mama can be a hard job, but being an ill Mama is the hardest job.
Take care of yourself.
Yikes! Praying for mercy for you..feel better soon!
I'm sorry you're sick, Christine. I've had a sinus infection for weeks now - I refuse to go to the dr. But, yes, there is no rest for the weary! Hang in there, gal!
I feel the same way with Precious and her propensity for lies, but we are getting there as I'm sure you are.
Here in Florida, Ambucs does give the Amtryke to families free of charge like Ross and Kate mentioned. I am a pediatric PT and one way we have modified regular trikes is to place the pedals between two thin pieces a wood and screw the wood pieces together so that the pedal is secured in the middle. You can then attach velcro straps to the top wooden piece so that the child's feet have that extra support to succesfully pedal. Does that make sense? It is nothing fancy, but it does do the trick (and it's a cheap fix!). As for the adjustable seat, I"m not sure about that fix, but if you adjust the thickness of the wooden block on the pedal then it would help to make up for seat depth.
This is what I love about blogs. I have now maybe found a tryke that I didn't know about that perhaps would work for Bryson. I am so excited for both our sons to ride bikes!!!
Hope you feel better quickly!!!
This isn't a tricycle and might not work for Alex, but a good ride on toy for learning balance and preparing a child to learn to ride a bike better than tricycles do is one like this: http://www.gliderrider.com/
or
http://www.theportablebaby.com/wishbonebike.html
or
http://www.skuut.com/
My daughter Angeline got a bike from AMBUCS. It has been so wonderful and good for her to gain strength in her legs. It went really fast to raise a little money from family and friends and then one of the chapters helped pay off the rest of the cost of the bike. We had our OT do the measurements so we knew what size bike Angeline would need. Once she is done with it we will pass it on to her baby brother Jude- who also has Spina Bifida. If you ever have any SB questions please feel free to contact me. Have you joined your local chapter?
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