So I enrolled him. Just in case.
Monday, March 1, 2010
Making the Best Choice for Him
I went and did it. Got up nice and early, offered to take the kids to school-- which most wanted to ride the bus, go figure.... and signed Alex up for kindergarten. The line was long and gave me plenty of time to teeter back and forth on my decision to enroll him. John really thinks that he should stay home one more year-- but oh how Alex loves school. His current pre-school teacher and IEP team are pushing encouraging me to have him go because of his age and so I feel pressure to do so. It has been said that he may not qualify to come back to his pre-school next year so that he may have no schooling this next year if he doesn't go to kindergarten. When I tell John this, his response on the subject is that either way pre-school or no pre-school Alex will benefit staying home one more year. Maybe he is right. Maybe he is not. Our son Jonny who has always been with us since the moment of conception benefited staying home one more year-- but does that mean that Alex will? Keeping Alex home just because we did it with our last child doesn't seem very logical does it? Keeping him home because he was adopted doesn't seem logical either. For me, I would love to have Alex home one more year, but I am just not convinced it is what we should do. He turns five this week you know---- and he is so ready to ride the school bus! He tells me every time he sees one.
So I enrolled him. Just in case.
So I enrolled him. Just in case.
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32 inspiring thoughts:
Just like with Jonny, it certainly wont hurt to let him try and it if it isnt working out pull him out til next year!
I think it's better to enroll him now (when you can and there's space) and if it doesn't work out you can always pull him out...no real harm done. The other way around might prove to be more difficult.
Socially, the way Alex is I think he will benefit from being in school. It's something to keep in prayer.
I would have done exactly what you did. You can always change your mind later if you want.
My kids always loved school too. :)
This rings true with me! I have a meeting tomorrow to get Isabel qualified for developmental preschool... even though I don't want to send her. Ever. Just not a fan of the public school system. However, I think it actually may be the best decision for HER, and I can't let my own opinions get in the way! At least we'll get her qualified... just in case!
You can always pull him out if it doesn't work out. At least this way you have the option to send him. :)
It can't hurt to let him start and if he does not like it take him out. You will always wonder "what if." You will know if it is not the right thing to do just like you did with Jonny.
Good for you! I'm sure Alex will do great! :) I've been reading your blog since you adopted Dennis and I LOVE it!
Hey Christine,
We did the same thing with our youngest Bennett. When he came from Latvia we put him in preschool for 2 years. After 2 years he was 5 and we decided to put him in kindergarten despite the preschool urging us that he was not ready. He wasn't ready but at the same time he was beyond what the preschool had to offer as well. He ended up repeating kindergarten this year and he's hit his stride. He'll be moving onto 1st grade next year and I think the 2 years of kindergarten helped him mature emotionally and behaviorally beyond the benefits of preschool or no school.
That was our experience for what it's worth.
Take care,
Barry Vaughn
It's always so tricky trying to decide to send or not to send. At the local school here I have a friend who holds all her children back - sure it was good for the first 2, but her third is very advanced & I think this year is going to be more detrimental to her.
I'm sure that John & yourself will make the right decision for your precious son.
I had the same decision to make with Autumn. She is a September baby so when it was time for her to go to Kindergarten she was still 4 years old. The problem was she was NOT ready for kindergarten, however she had already had 2 years of pre-school and she was not eligible for another year. So I enrolled her and she had an "okay" year. Not perfect but I had no choice since I work full time.
The next year I decided to keep her back in kindergarten one more year. It was the best decision I ever made. It was hard because she was promoted but as her mother I knew what was best for her. She was not socially or emotionally ready for 1st grade so I held her back.
Do what you think is best for him! He will thank you for it in the future!!!!
honor your husband :)
Wow, so many great comments, all of them right on in some way. And yet, I still say something different. Let the Holy Spirit guide you to discern what is good and right for your son. I encourage you and John to sit and pray now and throughout the summer if need be. Let the Spirit fill your heart with either a confirmation that the two of you have made a wise decision together, or to make the decision to keep your son home with you one more year and continue to be his nurturing teachers for just a little whil longer. Either way, you will have peace in your heart knowing that the choice was a God-send decision!
Christine,
Just because you enrolled him does not mean you can't change your mind! Basically, all you have done is laid down the path if that is the way you wish to travel a few months down the road. Alex will continue to get some OT via the school in kindergarten, so it might be helpful... if you feel that he is ready, give him the chance... he will be the one that will show if he is ready or not! :)
I believe you did the right thing as he is the right age, the school thinks he is ready, he wants to go and loves school, he may not have the opportunity for preschool next year and if you think it is not right in the fall, you can always make that decision then.
Awesome!! Such a tough decision accross the board!
I often feel like Jacy didn't have much of a childhood b/c she was in foster care so long and I really want to give her one more year of stability and fun prior to starting school. However, my husband wants to keep her with her age group. I know he is right...but it just hurts me to think she won't ever get those years at home back! *sigh*
for what it's worth, here's my two cents. i'm not a parent, so i don't think like one... but then again, maybe that makes me more objective.
it's good you enrolled him, so that option is open.
i can see both you & John having good points. what's good for one child won't necessarily be good for the other, so i'd personally ignore the fact that you kept Jonny home that extra year.
if Alex does NOT qualify for his pre-school again and he does NOT go to school, i would DEFINITELY get him involved with SOMETHING outside of the house. if he's isolated, he would probably lose a LOT of his socialization and what he's learning in his school right now in that "gap year."
ultimately, i think it's safe to say that you agree with my views on marriage & the way God designed it... the wife submits to the husband out of respect, and the husband makes decisions out of his love for his wife, and likewise submits to Christ. if your husband REALLY feels strongly about this, perhaps that's something to consider... not only as an equal partner in your marriage & the other parent to your child, but as the head of your family.
just my thoughts. :-)
- michelle
Well, not to sure I can be of any help as we home school. I would say pray, pray, pray and then do whatever you know is right in your heart. God will definitely guide your decision if you let him:)
Blessings,
Julie
I filled out the twin's kindergarten registrations packs today and am going to drop them off tomorrow. They are in a preschool program right now and love it but you have to be 4 on Sept 1 and can only do it once. For mine, I think they will learn a lot more from their peers than from being here alone with me.
P.S. Rick defers to me on matters like this since I am the one spending the most time with them.
It can't hurt to complete the paperwork and get him a spot, especially if you can still change your mind about it later. I'm sure by now you've learned to trust your instinct, you'll know.
Thanks for stopping by today.
Better to enroll him and change your mind later than not have a spot for him at your home school. You will know when school rolls around what is best for him!!
Never an easy decision with or without special needs!
Hey, I am teaching a high functioning special needs kindergarten next school year, move closer and I can have him in my class!!!! :-)
Such a hard decision! You have plenty of time to pray about it and make sure it's what is right for him. We're in a similar predicament with Yaya. We've signed her up for the next level of preschool at our church so she has a slot. Better safe than sorry.
It is always good to have your bases covered. Pray continually about it and you will know what to do.
Kids are not generic, what works for one doesn't always work for the other, you know that :D ! Jonny wasn't ready for school. Alex seems ready to get on the bus and go yesterday! Trust your instincts. Alex is not Jonny. Go with what works for Alex! :)
Christine, I don't know what I would do either, but seeing Alex together with Dennis...I think I might lean toward a blissful year at home. Playing and exploring and bonding. But I am sure that whatever you decide, he will be fine because he will come home everyday to a mommy who loves him, and a warm loving family. And if he likes school already, he might just plain not like to be left out.
Well done! If he is not ready he will surely let you know, you haven't pushed to much on Jonny, you will make the right decision this time as well
Yep, best to register him now so you have the space. By the time school starts next year you (and John) will know if he should go or stay home one more year. There are pros and cons to both. But Alex will let you know. Elaine
I'm a little late commenting here, but although I tend to always lean toward waiting if there's any question, it seems Alex so loves to go, I think you made a good choice to enroll him. Closer to school time you can decide for sure - but if he so loves school and it goes well but maybe academically it's challenging, I would agree with a couple others who mentioned there's always the option to go to kindergarten twice - if need be.
Jonny was really displaying signs of not being ready back when you pulled him (and I strongly agreed with that), but Alex seems like he'd be so excited to go ... you and John will make the right decision in the end!
Well, for what it's worth (and I know this isn't the PC answer) you need to follow your husband even when you think he's wrong. The Lord put him as the head of your house for a reason and He expects that you will follow your husband. If your husband makes a bad decision the Lord will hold him accountable for that but you will be held accountable for following or not.
Why wouldn't Alex qualify for special education services next year? He still has orthopedic needs. They are required to do IEP's for every child with special needs. The IEP team is also suppose to choose the least restrictive environment (which sounds like Kindergarten for Alex) and provide him supports to succeed in the least supportive environment. He should have a "health aide" to help him physically navigate the school, and help him transition/adapt to a different setting than pre-school. Don't let the school district get away without meeting their responsibilities to Alex under the IDEA act. That's my two cents...
I was catching up on you blog and have to say I was a bit surprised to see this. Not the thought of kindrgarten, but acting against something John feels is right. If you and your husband are divided on this, pray more, seek God's counsel, if you still disagree, I humbly suggest you follow your husband. If he is right or wrong, perhaps God would teaching him something through your submission. It's not a dirty word, Christ was submissive to the Father. There is grace and protection in following God's order for the family.
In Christ,
Elizabeth
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