that even great teenagers talk back.... sometimes.
And they were reminded that even great parents yell and react over the top.... sometimes.
In a nutshell, Annalyn knocked over a bottle of bright orange nail polish that shouldn't have been in the bedroom. It made a huge mess on the carpet. I got upset not because the nail polish was accidentally knocked over but because the nail polish shouldn't have been in the room in the first place, and had they listened there would not be a bright orange stain on the carpet. John comes in the room insisting on opening up all the windows because of the nail polish remover fumes killing all of our brain cells and Rachel starts in with talking back about how it is too cold and how he is being rude for opening the blinds. John says to put on a jacket. Rachel retorts. I am still upset about the nail polish and how the girls disobeyed by having the polish in their rooms. I of course was quick to remind them of why we don't keep nail polish in certain areas of the house. In the end, most of the polish was cleaned up, we all made up, and the windows were shut.
Good night. Off to bed to cuddle next to John and read a few pages of "The Shack."
18 inspiring thoughts:
My "few pages" of The Shack turned into the very wee hours of the morning one night. I HAD to finish it to see what happened!
Enjoy!
Thanks for this post Christine. I had something like this happen with my daughter tonight also and in the same way I yelled and she talked back and we were both upset about it. I know that I am not the only parent that goes through these times but its good to hear from others too. I had to smile at Rachel though...The other day I opened Oksanas window while she was at school to air out the upstairs a bit and forgot about it. :) Later on at night when it was time for bed (about 20 minutes after Oksana had been sitting in bed) I went to tuck her in and say goodnight. It was then that she asked if she could shut the window because it was a little chilly. He He He...Its -15 Degress Celcius here. Rachels comment just made me giggle. :) Its actually getting warmer here now, today it was only -7. Thanks for the post it helped.
Catherine
I hear you! I just over-reacted like that myself twice this week. We are all human but can ask forgiveness and move on. I appreciate your being real.
Funny I should read this just after reading a very helpful piece on children with early trauma, and how yelling is a huge trigger for them. My guess is that Rachel reacted as she did simply in reaction to the situation, rather than the windows...THAT was the "assault" on her peace, but she reacted to something else entirely.
I'm glad it all got sorted out - and I would sure have YELLED myself (which is why I needed this little reminder of what happens when I do.)
Did you really get it out of the carpet? And how? Surely there will always be a stain?
I had a rule that nail polish was only allowed at the kitchen table on a vinyl placemat.
As for the talking back, they are teenagers and it goes with the territory at times. As a parent, we don't like it. It can be put in perspective though. Look in the news and see what is there. They are trying to assert independence. I agree that it is wrong.
We also have the rule no fingernail polish in the bedrooms! I was working on homeschool work with my adopted 12 yo daughter and noticed her fingernails "very shiny". I knew she had not done them recently so I asked, "when did you do your fingernails?" What mom they aren't painted, honest! AUGH! After lots of discussion the bottle was found in her top drawer! At least it would have been clear on the carpet I guess! I would say I was a bit upset!
Even this will be a funny memory for them some day. They'll be like, "Hey, remember when Annalyn spilled that orange nail polish on Mom and Dad's bedroom carpet...?"
I overreact...probably all the time.
Sounds normal to me and my daughter is not yet 13!!!
Enjoy The Shack. It was hard for me to get throught he first couple of chapters but then I could NOT put it down!!!
Such is life. :)
For all that they can be so great to have around, there are times that teenagers love to test the boundaries and push their luck, don't they? I just recently posted about my 14 yr old, trying to pull the wool over my eyes. I wanted to record it so one day we can look back and laugh over it together.
Must be something in the air...I over reacted twice (at least) this week. The thing that gets me is blatant defiance and/or lying, and when you have a child with ODD, well, let's just say the Lord has a LOT of work to do on me!!
Of course, that's probably why he gave me the son with ADHD/ODD...sigh.
Oh dear. What a mess.
LOVE The Shack.
This is what I got from The Shack:
1.Everyone goes to heaven even if you're not a follower of Christ. (That alone is enough reason to reject the book)
2.You do not have to be born-again to have a relationship with Christ.
3.You can be Mormon, Jehovah Witness, Buddhist, Muslim or whatever. It doesn't matter to God. He doesn't want to make anyone a Christian.
4.The god of The Shack is not the God of The Bible.
5.Oprha would love it.
6.God does not want us to serve Him, He is to serve us.
7.There is no evil. (The book contradicts this at times)
8.Satan and demons do not exist.
9.The husband is not the head in marriage.
10.Hierarchy is man-made and God does not approve.
11.God does not desire for us to be obedient to Him.
12.Guilt is bad and does not direct a person to Christ.
13.Universalists would love it.
14.Although the Father is always given the male attribute in Scripture, The Shack makes Him female.
15.Jesus does not live in His glorified state but as fully human.
16.Wisdom is an actual person.
17.God does not have a miraculous way to relieve you of your pain.
18.The Holy Spirit does not empower us to live holy lives.
19.Papa (Father God) has scars on his wrists just like Jesus does because He was crucified too.
20.When Mack started reading the Bible in bed God came and took it from him. (Hmmm?)
21.During an entire weekend with Mack, God never once quoted or referred to Scripture in a positive light.
22.The Father did not grieve when Jesus went to the cross.
23.God is afraid of guns and anti-war. (Throw out the Old Testament).
24.The New Jerusalem is not literal even though the Bible gives its measurements.
25.The Emergent church would fall for this book easily.
I will continue......
Rest of comment:
26.God lives in us and we in Him (literally).
27.God is not to be feared.
28.God does not find more pleasure in those who love Him then those who do not.
29.God does not punish or discipline anyone for sin.
30.God is not a God of wrath.
31.Jesus is not under the Fathers authority.
32.God is not a God of order.
33.We are not in a spiritual battle.
34.We are to keep our eyes on the present and not on eternity.
35.The awesome God of the universe is submissive to us.
36.We are not called to be like Jesus. He was not intended to be our example.
37.There is no final judgment.
38.Sophia (Wisdom) uses human thought to teach that there are no judgments.
39.Sophia is part of the mystery of the Holy Spirit.
40.Jesus did not come to build the church.
41."Religious folk" don't understand the Trinity.
42.We don't need to ask forgiveness when we sin. Once on the cross was enough.
43.God is reconciled to the whole earth, even those who don't believe and/or reject His Lordship.
44.The Ten Commandments were not given to help us live righteously.
45.The Law does not point out our sin anymore.
46.The Commands of God are evil and if used causes man to feel superior.
47.God does not have any expectations for us therefore He is never displeased with us.
48.God does not want us to put Him first. (or make Him Lord)
49.God does not forget our sins.
50.No evangelism is required, just relationships.
Whew! I think that's enough. Some of these you may agree with and some you may not. I find these views of God to be unbiblical and not of God. You don't have to be a great theologian to see this. The Shack feeds on people's emotions and hurts. It creates a big problem (the murder of a child and the dissatisfaction with organized church) so it can preach a message that sounds and feels good therefore making it easy for the ignorant to fall for it easily. It is not based on Truth. Are there problems in the church today? Of course. But don't you think God would know that was going to happen when He started the church. All human institutions are flawed because they have people in them. The Shack is not the answer to these problems. Read The Word and find a church that adheres to it. Eventually we will all stand before the Father and give account, each one individually. Don't let The Shack be your guide.
I quote Jesus in Matthew 7:13-14 "Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it."
Do yourself a favor and skip this book. And BTW I love your blog and think you are doing an amazing job raising your children. I come to the blog looking for advice on raising children that love God and their family; hope you dont get offended if I give you some! Happy parenting.
I Love The Shack, so deep and awesome at the same time!!!!!
I believe I am the QUEEN of over-reacting!! OH what am I teaching our children?? ....and no wonder my children are SO loud.
It all sounds pretty normal to me. I raised 2 great girls who are now great mothers, and I remember both of them being very cheeky and talking back when they were teenagers. I have to say I was quite cheeky myself I remember. All very normal and as long as you can talk about it that is the main thing.
Oh I re read this again today Christie and I had to laugh, I had this type of morning. Although I didnt yell or over react, I shutdown. It is nice to know this wonderful mommy moments are shared.
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