I live in America. I know that. And I know that it is a blessing to live in a country that is prosperous and allows me to freely express my relationship with God-- I know this. And this is where my family and friends live. I know that too. And I love them. And this where I get to drive my car everywhere instead of having to walk, have the best healthcare for my children, and basically never have to go without.... so why does my heart yearn daily for Ukraine? Not a day goes by that I do not think of this country.
I miss the smell. I miss the lifestyle. I miss the traditions. I miss the language. I miss the simplicity. But I mostly miss the people--- and the orphans.
I may live in America, but my heart is in Ukraine.
And is this a feeling you just live with to talk about or is it something that you act on?
How?
Also, what are your thoughts about missionaries who have children who are not all thrilled about being missionaries? Are the parents selfish? Kids are kids and really don't know what they want half the time anyway-- so should they even have a say?
And then I get to wondering if my heart would be someplace else had I never been to Ukraine. Yet, I have been to Russia and I have been to Mexico and while I think these two countries are also wonderful, I do not find myself thinking of them everyday.
So.......
Where is your heart?
P.S. If you really want to be inspired read about Katie's heart in Uganda.
34 inspiring thoughts:
I know exactly how you feel. I spent two months volunteering at an orphanage for children with special needs in Argentina in the summer of '09 and it's something I think about everyday. The kids, my host family, the country, the culture, Spanish, the food, the music, the simplicity of life... I love those kids with every fiber of my being and cannot wait until the day I get to see them again. My heart is no longer in the United States... it's in Argentina with my "new" family.
Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world. James 1:27
My heart is in all three places where I feel like I still have things to do: Ireland, Hungary and Israel.
I really feel sorry for those children who are forced into missionary situations, and feel less sorry for their parents' heartbreak over their teens and adult children leaving the church, because I've seen missionary parents handle their less-than-enthusiastic children in a way that while the living abroad part could not be changed, their children were children and not particularly missionaries, if it makes sense. Like my mission president and his wife had 3 of their 5 children with them on the mission field and they kids were just... kids.
Off topic:
Since I love, love, love your blog, I wanted to ask if you have considered joining the Golden Haiku? I am sure a lot of people would love getting to know your blog!
http://www.stirrup-queens.com/2009/11/the-golden-haiku/
It's the same for me.I have an Italian passport,but an Ukrainian heart.If it can't help who is in difficult,so it's useless live in a wealthy state.I search the wealth in my heart.I found it in Ukraine,where live many children who need of love.
my heart is in Kenya- I left it there with my 24 little angels. I miss them sooo much and there´s not an hour when I wouldn´t think about them. I feel terribly homesick, I just need to go back asap. :)
my heart is in Winnipeg MB, in the inner city, I left in there many years ago and hope that one day I can go back for it.
My friend Ken left his heart and in Ukraine as well but he did something with it and started this http://caritas-ua.org/index.php?&lang=english he lives in BC now but that which began with his heart in ukraine is still going strong.
I have no advice as far as famlies being missionaries. But, I agree with you, my heart is in Ukraine. My husband keeps asking when we are moving there. My answer is "as soon as the kids are old enough". For us, it's not an option as I have split custody of my older 2, we can't just up and leave, that wouldn't be fair for them. If we could though, I would be there in a heart beat. Ukraine gets under your skin. It sticks with you. I've been to really poor area of America and Mexico as well. I've been to really nice places in America, but nothing anywhere is like Ukraine. The people are great, the country is beautiful, and I love how they are still so traditional. Maybe that's why we are going back ;)
I feel EXACTLY the same way...that is why we are RIver of Joy Internaltional. www.riverofjoy-crimea.org Love your blog and have been a daily reader for about a year or so. Blessings to you - Judy
This reminded me of an answer Brian gave in 2nd grade. The school was, of course, filled with expats, so a good question for the kids to talk about was "Where is your home?" That was confusing. We're American, but don't live there, we were in Egypt, but not Egyptian. He said that home is where his family was. I think that's what my answer is, my heart is where my family is, even if it is spread out all over the place.
So much admiration for you and wish I had your bravery. We can't have another biological child and feel that "someone" is missing, adoption is a bit daunting because we have a special needs child and feel overwhelmed at times already.
I think your family is amazing and your children among the most fortunate to be surrounded by such unconditional love.
China...and yet the SN orphans...particularly the HIV+ orphans in the Ukraine have been on my heart for half a year or more now.
It's easy and natural to have a romantic longing for a place that has an emotional attachment, or where meaningful events have happened.
It's also very easy to develop a romantic attachment to a place one only lives in temporarily - and easy for the romance to obscure the realities of actually living there, much less uprooting a family full of diverse needs.
Moving is traumatic for families in general, and radical culture changes can be devastating to fragile children. Sometimes its important to have the strength to say "no" to powerful, dreamy urges.
Obsessions can become overwhelming - self-discipline and wisdom are important antidotes to being swept away. It takes a special kind of person to understand that two feet on the ground are far better than a head in the clouds.
Why not make Ukraine your mission once your children are grown? In 16 to 20 years, you will still have much to offer, and your choice will not entail huge sacrifices on the part of children who are already dealing with many challenges.
I have to say that my heart is right here in Guatemala. Most people don't understand WHY I would leave my home country with all its luxuries and the great lifestyle to live in a third world country surrounded by the poor. I'm not a missionary, I try to give where I can, but I'm mostly just a mom making a life for her family. Yet, this is where my heart is and no one gets it.
Oh Christine.... Our hearts are in Ukraine. I know God blesses us with different seasons in life. I can sooo see us there, together, helping with the orphans and those who have aged out. Logistics.... that is the issue.
But GOD knows and He has plans for us.
Right now, it is short term missions.
But eventually, I really do pray that it will be long term permenant missions. That is our heart.
I know exactly what you mean. I think Ukraine stole
my heart last year too. I just want to be back, helping as much as I can. So are you considering becoming missionaries to Ukraine?
My heart is so scattered right now. On a daily basis of course, my heart is wherever my kids are, it is not as though I would rather be anywhere away from them, but I feel the tug of other countries often. As far as your kids, I grew up in Zambia, Malaysia and Saudi Arabia, and I know that if we had been given the choice before each move, we wouldn't have been completely enthusiastic and yet I am so, so happy to have lived in those countries and have had that experience in my life. I loved living in different countries and experience "life" in other cultures.
Looking back, I don't even remember the transitions being hard, or leaving my friends being difficult (although I am sure I had a few days of sadness during the transition). All of that was during a time of paper mail only! No email or internet chat to keep in touch with my friends. Still, I stayed very close with friends in different countries and wrote long letters often! Nowadays it is so much easier (and cheaper) to keep in touch with friends and family across the globe.
My feeling is that you would NEVER regret giving your family that experience, but you very well could look back and regret NOT doing it.
Follow your heart - you have such a strong, warm heart...trust it!
We have the same thoughts regarding southeastern Siberia. Every day I check the weather and pray the Lord will provide shelter for all those homeless children. I have prayed for the Lord to give me guidance on the matter...
I miss Russia so much. I miss having to walk everywere and not feeling like a lazy slob by driving half a mile to pick my son up from school. I miss there being tons of people walking outside no matter what the time of day. It just feels like America is doing so many things wrong. Many people freak out when I tell them we went to Russia, they don't know what they are missing.
Maybe you feel this way about Ukraine because when you go there, it is to adopt a child. Everyday life there would doubtlessly be less exciting than that. Just a thought.
Our hearts are in Ukraine too! In fact Robert and Kristina are there now ministering to the children from her old orphanage. While I couldn't go on this trip, I hope to go back soon. Somehow God links our hearts to this place. It's beyond our understanding, but undeniable.
Though I understand the longing, I will have to agree,at least partially with Deena. It's easy and natural to have a romantic longing for a place that has an emotional attachment, or where meaningful events have happened.
I watched my daughter lose her heart to El Salvador this past summer, but God has not placed the same desire in the soul of her husband, leaving me to conclude that, for now, she is called to serve here.
That said, God does call His own to love and serve in foreign countries, and I'm sure your heritage, as well as that of your children, is likely what draws your heart to Ukraine.
My heart is in America and always will be. My children are here in America and everything I love and am proud of us right here at home. I do respect and admire my son's home though. I will always treasure where he came from, but in reality, he IS the American dream!!!
How funny you use this phrase too. When we started the journey to adopt a child I was always drawn to Ukraine. When through another agency everything fell through with Ukraine and we were considering China I told my husband... "but my heart is in Ukraine!". Then God lead us to Laurel on RR and the rest is history. My husband especially still yearns for this place. I know that we aren't finished there.
I really admire you and your willingness to follow where ever the Lord leads you.
I am trying to do the same and my heart is here in America but more specifically my heart cries for foster children everyday. God placed a burden on my heart for the orphans right here in America when I was 13 years old. Finally after years of praying God led us to foster care and now adoption of three children right here in our own town. Two of which were neglected horribly, abused, not fed or bathed and all three were abandoned by their parents. I know we have it good here in America but not all the children do.
We are called to and for different things. This is my passion and calling and where my heart is.
Entiendo perfectamente lo que dices porque mi corazon se quedó hace ya 10 años en Ucrania. Vivo en España y esta última década he viajado a ese paÃs en 19 ocasiones: tengo dos hijos adoptados allà y tres acogidos en verano.
Un trocito de mi corazón está allÃ, en Ucrania.
I know EXACTLY what you mean! Hubbie and I YEARN for China and I regular basis...we love this country, its people and culture....loved serving in this country. We wonder? Does God want us to go there and LIVE? But then, in the wake of the Haiti crisis I find myself thinking I would gladly serve THERE.
Isn't it amazing how quickly we become enamored by another country? I, too, think about Ukraine and miss the culture and the experiences there. And I've only been once for 6 weeks to adopt our son :)
My heart is with the adoption community today and for those orphans all over that need their forever families. Because we have been turned down to be able to adopt I keep in steady prayer for those who are adopting and for each and every orphan.
It's strange...I've never been to Ukraine, but my heart is there nonetheless. I know I'll be going there, whether it is for a short term mission from time to time or to bring home the son of my heart who is languishing in an institution there. It will be interesting to see how us moms-of-many put the longings of our heart to use!
Just having come home from three years work in Pakistan, and with my husband still there finishing up work before retirement, I have many conflicting things to add to the discussion. I have worked at a boarding school for missionary kids and seen many do very well. They return to their home country citizens of the world and some have trouble feeling that they belong in their home countries again. Some kids hate the sacrifices that have to be made and a lot of acting out and anger results. You and your husband would be wonderful as boarding parents in any of these schools that are located in many countries. I also will raise the point that if you are called to mission work the Lord will often send you to a country you have never thought of going to. Our dream was to work in Uganda. However, Pakistan was where the opportunity was, and it was awesome. My heart, and many many friends will always be there.
Cindy
I feel the exact same way about Kazakhstan. I think being in another country for a time can really change those of us who have grown up in the US.....for the better most of the time. I love being a US citizen but I know love being a world citizen. I think that is what God really taught us in Kaz....how to really see the world as God sees it and how He really would prefer us to the live....the simplicity part of our living there. I have been taking in alot from BSF in the last few lessons where they have been talking about God's good and God's best will for our lives and jumping ahead of Him because we think we have it all figured out. God really showed me how important my responsibilites are as a wife and mom. Those could be his grand purpose while I see doing some good thing in Kaz as the ideal, I have to stay in the moment where He planted me. Does that make sense? My husband's heart is not drawn to Kaz like mine and he loves his job....my "job" then is to support him and pray for him as the leader of our home. As far as my child....I have great plans for him of course! ;) But, my "job" and privelege right now is to show him love and parent him.....I never realized until he started school that many, if not most kids have parents but they aren't parented and guided. I think you are such an unbelieveable mom and your skills at parenting are sometimes awe inspiring to me...the things you think of to say, do, etc are truly a light to we first time parents. I think you should never doubt that you are doing some great things with your kids and although you could do great things in the Ukraine, God just may want to continue to use you as one of those parents who give their children His love to spread around in the US.....I always consider that I am training and parenting the next generation who will go love on Kazakhs and Russians too! You never know....but God does! What a great year for us to be doing BSF as we yearn for countries that are not our own! :)
my good friend was a Missionary in the Ukraine, Kubanka/Odessa. She wrote an amazing kids book, true stories about the kids of Kubanka, its called Kubanka Kids printed by ABWE. We just finished reading it to our younger kids and they LOVED it! I've never had the opportunity to visit any other country, except Canada of course, but I don't think that really counts, I never visit but drive thru! Anyways I know people who have visited, lived and continue to yearn for a return and feel such a connection with the people. Blessings and prayers as God gives you way to touch the lives of people in the Ukraine.
Christine, I found your blog because you were adopting from Ukraine. I was blessed to be able to make 3 trips to Ukraine in 1994-1995. Everyone who know me knows I left large pieces of my heart there! I went with a church group for the purpose of teaching English (this was our "calling card") and to help distribute Bibles. I thought I would be teaching ladies classes, but instead, the Lord sent lots of children to my classes, along with a few ladies. The ladies were so kind and loving, and even for the first 2 days when we didn't have an interpreter, we found ways to communicate with each other. The children were so hungry for attention of any kind, and most were intrigued that Americans had come to their county. One very young lady was taking care of her grandmother who was sick, another was 15 and her mother was dying and she had no other family, several were "street urchins", some of whom were being sucked in by the Ukrainian mafia. I still think of those children today and pray for them. I saw God working in ways there that I had never seen before, and it was life changing. I'm sorry - I have to make myself stop - I get on my soapbox and can't stop! I love the weather, the beauty of the cities I was in, the food, and the heart of the people. I said all this to say that my heart's desire has been to go back and do more of the same. I was very discouraged because I was not able to return, but I found that I was able to share my experiences and feelings with others who had the funds and contacts to raise money and get supplies and do things I couldn't. One of my doctor friends was touched to go, and now he goes on a regular basis to do medical care there and to support a doctor and a health clinic. Another friend has a heart for children and has spent years getting bedding, fuel, hotwater heaters, laundry equipment and food for orphanages where children had no sheets or blankets and no hot water. One winter the children were having to dig through the ashes to find small lumps of coal that had not been completely burned to try to stay warm. He also has become very attached to a couple of orphanages for the deaf and hearing impaired children, and has taken hundreds of hearing aids and batteries and fitted those children. I could never have done this either. I have said all this to say that because you have a heart for Ukraine and its people, you can use that love and your exposure on your blog to touch the hearts of others while you are here raising your children. By sharing as you do, perhaps others will be touched to adopt from Ukraine and many more children than you could help alone can find permanent homes. Please do not underestimate the influence you have on so many people. I would give anything to go back again, but at this particular time I cannot. So, I read your blog entries about your experiences when you are there, and I pray for those children who don't have families yet. Please know that God is blessing those children because of you.
Wanda Hufnagle - Amarillo, TX
my heart is in China and Estonia. I
can easily see myself living there.
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