Homework seems to be taking longer these days. Normally I am all for it, and I don't mind sitting with the kids and going over it, but right now three of them are doing fractions and I am losing my mind. Hats off to those who have the ability to homeschool and enjoy it--- I just don't have the patience for it nor the gift. They all seem to be stuck on reducing fractions and no matter how I work it out for them, they just can't see without lots of explaining that 24 and 30 can be divided by 6 to reduce to 4/5. Ugh! Still, I will continue along keeping the faith that I will get better as I practice. I have to remember that it is only my fault that I am frustrated-- something I want to work on.
On another note, I attended Alex's IEP meeting the other day. Having been down the road of fighting tooth and nail for services for my kids and winning (back in 2006)--I all too quickly realized that there was a downside. While I can boast that yes, I got my kids the services I felt they needed, it came at a great expense. All relations with school staff seemed to be distant after receiving the services that I never felt like my children or I benefited from the services outside of the therapy sessions mandated by the IEP. It was incredibly hard to get support so that I would know how to bring some of the therapy they were receiving into our home.
So this time, I didn't push things. And of course that meant that Alex's true abilities were stretched a bit to make him sound further along than he is, and as a result he didn't have PT or OT added to his IEP. Yet, the PT and the OT have both agreed to come once a month for a consultation. This will be a time for the teacher and I to ask questions, get ideas, ask about progress, and make sure that Alex's environment is working with him and not against. The OT gave me a Handwriting Without Tears workbook and some special two-sided short crayons to strengthen his pencil grip. She also gave me tons of great ideas all of which I can work with Alex at home. The PT said she would work on getting Alex a pair of forearm crutches that are a better fit, and showing me the proper way he should be using them. The IEP team also said that Alex is making tremendous growth because of how much I am working with him at home. This is something that we did all agree on, and frankly it felt really good to be encouraged for his progress. If Alex was not making such amazing progress I think I would have pushed for the services and I think they would have been more willing to offer them.
Setting aside my own observations on how school districts work to keep the costs of providing services for IEPs down, I must say that I still think Alex is getting amazing help through the pre-school that he is attending. That, coupled with my dedication to keep working with him at home, makes me pretty confident that he is going to do great despite him not getting the OT or PT services I had originally set forth to get him.
The biggest thing that I wanted above all was to maintain a good relationship with these ladies who I have to see on a regular basis and most of all who Alex will be in closer relationship with everyday. That was achieved and then some. Honestly, I don't think that any level of services amount to a hill of beans if the people providing the services don't have a good relationship with the parents. For the first time (after changing school districts when we moved) there is no tension with any of the school personnel and I feel that my kids' best interests are the schools' best interests as well-- even if it doesn't say it on the IEP.
Besides.... outside of school, Alex will be starting Physical therapy once a week. And the school helped me along with that process.
16 inspiring thoughts:
its amazing what a little one on one time will do. We recently had a doctor tell us that you cant gain range of motion you can only deal with what you have. HELLOOOOO! I wanted to slap him as I KNOW Sophie has gained ROM since being home, I SEE it every day in the way she moves, the way she plays, the way she sleeps! out goes that doctor for sure. I just keep up the stretches and hope for the best. It has worked in so many ways already! good job mama for working SO hard to get him moving. I know its hard to find enough hours in the day for everyone.
its amazing what a little one on one time will do. We recently had a doctor tell us that you cant gain range of motion you can only deal with what you have. HELLOOOOO! I wanted to slap him as I KNOW Sophie has gained ROM since being home, I SEE it every day in the way she moves, the way she plays, the way she sleeps! out goes that doctor for sure. I just keep up the stretches and hope for the best. It has worked in so many ways already! good job mama for working SO hard to get him moving. I know its hard to find enough hours in the day for everyone.
I agree with you about fighting for services, we fought to have Meghan fully included in our home school, not only did it completely alienate the staff towards us, but they went out of their way to make it as hard as possible. We homeschool now, I feel like I can no longer trust the district (my husband works for them too ugh) to do what is best for my girls. Some days though, i wish for some alone time, like today for instance. LOL
Christine, I love the Handwriting Without Tears Program. I found that if I made a copy of the pages, my Jackson could review the skills he was working on more than once.
the Handwriting Without Tears books are really neat. I work with a girl who has downs' syndrome and she uses them. She is always excited about them and they're really clear and easy for the kids to use. :)
I totally agree that your relationship with the people working with your children is SO important. I didn't "push" for a ton of services with either of my kids' recent IEP meetings, but I'm decently satisfied with what they're doing and I'm really glad that I'm not one of those "oh great, its HER coming" kind of moms... to THEM. :) I'm still learning though, this is all still new to me. :) I'm glad to hear (or read) your opinion on the matter.
PS. Thanks to that last commenter... I'm glad to know Handwritting without tears is good for kids with DS! Cool. :)
As a former teacher, I can tell you that the approach a parent takes makes all the difference in the world. I have never taught special ed and never dealt with IEPs, but I can remember a lot of parents wanting me to make special allowances for their children who did have legitimate learning disabilities and it was very difficult. I had large classes and saw a lot of kids and just wasn't able to individualize a lot of students' work and still give them a fair grade compared to the rest of the class. And then, if the parent put on the "Mama Bear" attitude and developed an adversarial relationship with me... well, it just didn't work out all that well.
I understand completely. We had to do the same for Danny. I think having the pt on consultation for Danny worked to our advantage. It is amazing how much you can get out of the public system when you nice them to death :) And I am really glad to since we will really need to use them next year once sveta is home!!
Just to be on the other side of this, with my being an occupational therapist, that being one of "those parents" can either be good or bad depending on the situation.
If you have a good classroom, good communication between all, etc. then consultation will work well --as a parent it is best to support the classroom teacher and work with the therapists to train/advise the classroom teachers, aides, school staff, etc.. Some therapists I know, come in, do therapy with a child, and don't train or communicate with the teachers, aides, and/or parents. So there was no follow through, and there was little benefit to the child, even if the therapy was weekly. But other therapists (like me!), talked to everyone in the classroom, trained them to do the "therapy" and the children blossomed with little "formal" services. Facilitating communication among everyone is an essential to be a good therapist.
On the other side of the "nice" vs. "one of those parents" is sometimes the situation needs to have someone get angry and not be agreeable. In the county I lived in Michigan, there was a school with 210 severely to moderately disabled children from 3 to 26. There was one OT and one PT for all those students. I couldn't figure out why until I was a sub teacher there on IEP days. Parents were very passive, and some parents didn't even go to IEPs. The county office didn't tell them about therapies, so they didn't ask for them. This is how the county saved money..hardly anyone was ever evaluated or referred for OT/PT services.
This was disastrous to the kids. Their bodies were in horrific shape. Many of them had contractures and additional physical conditions that could have been prevented with minimal therapy intervention. There were teens in wheelchairs who were contractured throughout their bodies, and had no movement anywhere. Most of them didn't have any therapy services. A few of the kids there were so contractured and medically neglected, that their respiratory muscles became involved because the kids couldn't move, and at the first good flu of the year the kids died of respiratory distress.
My comment to you parents, is to get to know what the situation that your kid is in everyday. If there is great communication between everyone, support everyone from the aides to the therapists. If you have questions or a gut feeling something is wrong, it probably is. I've seen so much as a sub teacher that I am sure the parents if they knew what happened, would be horrified. It is your right to be aware of the situation your child faces each day. In Michigan, I was elated when a few parents spoke up and were "those parents" because of the horrific situation of all the school. While they were only able to get services for their children, they were sending a message to the district that this neglect was not going to be tolerated.
Parents are great...I have great experience with parents with working with families of kids as a respite worker, recreation leader, etc. People skills are the number one priority in my book. However, many therapists and administrators think therapy skills and credentials are the most important. I have been discounted many times, because of my "parent" and experience knowledge is much greater than my occupational therapy skills. But that is what makes me a great therapist. Take care, and congratulations on the progress with Alex and Dennis.
So glad Alex is doing so well. Glad the IEP went well, even if it was different from your expectations. Good job.
With Isaac we use a program called Reason for Writing. It is a Christian program. We love it. It goes all the way up to cursive if you want in book F. Start with book A. They do some lines and circles and then move to letters. By the end of the book they are writing a few words. Alex will be writing scripture by the end. LOVE IT!!! You can get it at CBD.
There are so many homework websites out there. Try googling help with fractions and see what happens. Just an idea. I hate Math. (Kindergarten teacher confession moment! ha) But I always loved fractions, because it reminded me of a puzzle. Keep plugging, look on the net and try to make it fun. =)
Hats off to you! It takes alot of time and energy to coordinate special education services in the school district for your children. Your children are also different ages with a variety of different needs! Your family is an inspiration!
How can Alex NOT qualify for PT through the school system? Holy cow -- what disability does a child have to have to qualify in CA? As a special ed. teacher, this makes absolutely no sense to me. I understand your not wanting to be "that" parent, but this is your child and you have every right to get him the services he needs. I've had many parents who could have been "that" parent, but with a little tact, compassion and a team-work attitude, they advocated for their kids and got the services their kids needed and deserved while maintaining a positive relationship with teachers and therapists. Yeah, Alex is making great strides with you (great job, Mama!) but he needs more. I don't get it.
Christine -
Sometimes kids have trouble reducing fractions because they don't know their multiplication tables well enough. If they can't remember that 4 x 6 is 24. Then they are not going to remember that 24 can be reduced by either 4 or 6 in a fraction.
I would go through a set of mulitplication/division flashcards every day with them before they start their homework to refresh their memories.
I used to teach elementary school.
As a special education teacher for Severe and Profound students, I want to commend you for looking at the situation with an open mind.
My suggestion is to make sure you "befriend" your child's teacher. A good teacher is an extention of the parent at school. You are your child's best advocate but... I (as a teacher) am also your child's advocate. I find that I am often "sticking up" for the child even though my school or school district wants something different. Together teachers and parents have power!
Lastly, I want to mention that I see kids who do things for their teacher (and not for their parents) time and time again. It breaks my heart to hear parents say that they think we "stretch their child's ability" to make progress look greater. While I'm sure some teachers do most of us are reporting exactly what we see. Have your child's teacher video tape Alex. I video tape all my students and show the video of progress at the IEP meeting. Most parents are amazed to see the things their child is doing at school.
Thanks for being an awesome parent Christine. You rock!
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