Bless His Heart

First off, let me start off by saying that Adam gave me permission to post this video. I went back and forth with whether or not I should, thinking that I should try and preserve his dignity and not cause him embarrassment, but Adam was really okay with me posting it----- and my reason for posting it was not to embarrass him, so here it is.

Adam and Julia have worked very hard the past few months. They have been challenged at the new music school they are attending, and their passion for music has blossomed. Adam has also been playing bass in the worship band this past year which has really been a wonderful experience for him.

For this concert Julia not only played "Indescribable", but she and Adam played a big part in the big finale of this year's Music Recital---- Hosanna by Hillsong.

As the clicking of the drumsticks counted down the beginning of the song, I got goosebumps. The song is powerful all on its own, but as a Mom watching her daughter playing the keyboard and her son playing the guitar, it somehow meant so much more to me.

See...... the vision of this music school they attend is to develop and train up Christ believing artists who will in turn communicate the message of Christ through music. Two of my children up on that stage gave me such hope for the future for not only them but all of my children.

As I watched the band play it was obvious that Adam was not himself. I thought it was nerves--- Adam's teacher knew it was something worse since Adam rarely misses a beat.

Then it happened.

I sat there for a moment paralyzed. What do I do? Come on Christine-- think. Adam was even more paralyzed than I so I ran up to help him. We quickly got him off stage-- and the show went on! Bless my son's heart. I felt so bad for him. Even in the midst of it all, he was more concerned for his guitar than himself--- we had just bought him that guitar as an early birthday present and he wanted to take care of it.

My dear Adam. You were amazing------ you made me cry with such joy that you are my son. Even though I know it was out of your control--- you exited the stage with a bang!

On a side note--- God is so very good. For whatever reason, the group has been asked to play for the whole church a few Sundays from now---- Adam will get a second chance!

FAS Diagnosis

Check out this post for the how, what , and why's of Sveta's FAS diagnosis. Most importantly, getting a diagnosis starts with a history of the birth mother drinking alcohol during pregnancy.

The Other Side of FAS

A few days ago I posted about FAS. I shared about my daughter who is diagnosed with it and how it relates to the services she receives. Later as I read through some of the comments it was obvious that some of you had questions concerning her behavior and what role having FAS plays in it. I apologize for making it appear as though she has no behavior issues because that simply is not true. However, that could be said about all children---- they all have their "issues."

Let me start by sharing about her strengths.

In all honesty Sveta is our easiest child. She really is. She will sit through church without a word, she rarely gets into arguments with her siblings, and she rarely complains that she is bored. She goes to bed when she is told and keeps her side of the bedroom neat and tidy. I never have to tell her to do her homework, and she loves to help in the kitchen. She enjoys the simplest pleasures--- a walk around the block, watching the dog get a new haircut, eating a Popsicle outside, taking a bath in Mama's big tub, running to the store with me for milk, and getting to swim at night. It doesn't take much to please Sveta unlike my other children who often think that John and I were born to entertain them.

I believe that she is very well behaved because she doesn't understand what is going on around her. We have asked her what she learned at church or school or Wednesday night youth group on different occasions and her answer is usually always a very quiet, "I don't know." She knows that she should be able to answer something but really doesn't know how, but wants to appear like she knows so she behaves perfectly--- making her disappear. She has learned that if she behaves quietly and without drawing attention to herself she can get by in almost all social situations. We believe that this is her way with coping with her disability and avoiding being asked to participate. And if you didn't know Sveta, her disability would look invisible to you.

Once Sveta is out of a formal social setting she will let her hair down and relax. As long as she knows the people around her like close family and friends, she will be more social. Sometimes too social. While I know in my heart that she doesn't mean to get on people's nerves she often does so by getting too close, asking inappropriate questions, talking too loudly, and acting too crazy. Often times, we have to ask Sveta to go play with the kids because she hovers around listening to the adults. Almost everytime we ask her to go play with her sisters or guests that are visiting our home, she gets grumpy. This is her biggest behavior issue.

Grumpiness.

Almost ever single time we ask Sveta to do something that she at that moment doesn't want to do, she gets grumpy about it, meaning that her face immediately looks like we just asked her to eat a can of pickled worm guts. Her body pulls away as she tries to turn around and ignore us. So we have to ask her again. Often times she will sass by saying something like, "I don't have to," under her breath or, "I'm not going to listen to you." It is a fifty-fifty chance that she will do as she is told in situations like these and often times she chooses a timeout in her bed rather than her changing her behavior and getting ungrumpy. That is because she has a very stubborn streak too. Just the other day in church as we were filing in to sit down for the service I pointed for Sveta to sit next to one of her siblings. Well, I guess I ruined her plans because she copped an attitude with that grumpy stand-offish, arms crossed stance.

We have explained that when she does this her behavior is disrespectful and embarrassing to us and any other adult who asks her to do something. I have related it to her level by responding to her in the same way when she has asked me something. She doesn't like that, but boy does it get my point across--- but only for that day. By the next day she has either forgotten or is too stubborn to work on not being grumpy. Or perhaps, I am beginning to think that she can't help herself and this is the way my Sveta is going to grow up to be. That is something that John and I have to accept but that doesn't mean that we will allow her to behave that way without consequences. She may very well spend alot of her teen years close to home and her bedroom if she can't learn to quickly pull herself out of her grumpiness. It is one thing to react a certain way, but I do think that Sveta has the capacity to humble herself and quickly apologize for her grumpiness.

Another thing is that she is very competitive but doesn't understand that bragging that she is the best at something is also inappropriate. To argue with a classmate that she is the best math student just because she happened to finish her math fact sheet first does not sit well with those students. Sveta often times continues with her know it all attitude and has ended up calling someone dumb or stupid. This doesn't happen very often, but when it does she is unaware how angry she has made that kid who thinks that Sveta is one to talk. I know this sounds petty, but Sveta has said some rude things to kids that have made them want to hit her. I wonder how this is going to look in junior high and high school. Again, FAS is more of an invisible disability where students will not be willing to give her a break as often as they would to someone with an obvious disability.

Another thing is that Sveta is very strong. And when she is in trouble and I insist that she look at me, I have had her claw me when I've grabbed her hands to pull them down away from her face. Eye contact is something that we have insisted on day one with all of our children and Sveta is smart enough to know that this is one area that she can disobey and have complete control over. This behavior is outright disobedience and gets early bedtime for a few days because it is babyish behavior to not respect your parent enough to give them eye contact and when children act like a baby they go to bed early like a baby. Plain and simple.

So yes in response to emails and comments, Sveta can be bossy, impulsive, physical, loud, grumpy, and disrespectful. We just have to stay totally on top of things and very very consistent. Recently, we had an episode in the morning where she was very grumpy because I asked her to go change her shoes and socks. She got very loud and cried in a tantrum like way and even said that she should just run away because she doesn't like me. I showed her the door and let her know that I would be notifying her school and the police if she wanted to run away but if she wasn't going to, she better just be quiet. I let her know that if she left she would never find another family who would love her more than we do. And I asked her if she was sure that she knew where she would sleep, take a warm bath, eat yummy spaghetti, or sleep under a pretty cozy comforter. She opted to stay put and apologized for threatening to run away but still let me know that she did not like me.

Deal.

At that moment, I didn't like her very much either.

Good thing I loved her.

Anna is Growing!

Since Anna started GHT two months ago, she has grown one full inch! Her hair is growing much faster and so are her feet. At 10 1/2 years old, she has finally started puberty. I am not thrilled to see my baby girl growing up, but we knew it was bound to happen once she started growth hormone therapy.

Grow Anna grow!

On another note, sickness is spreading through our family like wildfire. Two different bugs seem to be attacking us right now. A few of the kids have had a fever with extreme lethargy and two have had severe cases of vomiting and diarrhea for one day and then they are fine. Please pray for our family's health.

All of Us Out on the Green

I only heard Dennis crying for a moment. I drifted off back to sleep as I heard Julia playing with him downstairs. About 40 minutes later, I went downstairs to find breakfast made.

Yummy pancakes!

Dennis really enjoyed them too!

Today was T-ball for Jonny and Andrew so all thirteen of us went to the playing field. Even Grandma and Grandpa joined us. It was a beautiful day!

Rachel seemed deep in thought today as she worked on her flower wreath. I asked her about it and she said that her and her friends had made them in Ukraine all the time. I told her how beautiful it was and how creative to come up with something like it. She shared that they were normally made out of yellow flowers. I told her I bet this one would turn out just as nice.

T-ball lasted one hour and then we all went home.

Here are my two favorite 2 and 5 year old boys! They sure love each other!

She Is Who She Is

A few nights ago was my kids' open house at school. I only took three of the kids because the others wanted to stay home with Daddy and swim. Of course Sveta and Julia both chose to stay home with their fun Dad. They just love swimming! As I walked into Sveta's 4th grade classroom all of the mission projects done by the students were nicely on display on each of the children's desks. Immediately I saw Sveta's Mission San Rafael Arcangel. It made me smile. While it was definitely not "the best" in the class, I know that she was very proud of it which is why I smiled.

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Yesterday, I attended Sveta's IEP. This was a big one because she had her three year evaluation. I was excited to find out what the test scores would reveal and was able to get the reports a day before the meeting so that I would be prepared for it. Earlier in the month, I had filled out a questionnaire about her adaptive life skills and was pleasantly surprised to see that her teacher scored her right around the same. In the past at our old school, it had always felt like it was John and I trying to prove that our daughter needed services---- the school's reports always seemed to be scored opposite of what we felt our daughter's capabilities were. It had always made IEP meetings very uncomfortable--- but not this time. Yesterday's meeting was very nice.

Sveta scored moderately low on expressive language, but her receptive language had gone up considerably. She scored quite low on many of the tests which of course made her continue to be eligible for special services, but it was apparent that she had made growth since her evaluation three years ago. She actually has learning to tell time and count money as part of her goals for next year----- things I had only dreamed of her doing.

Her handwriting has improved greatly, as has most of the other areas that once qualified her for occupational services. It was determined at this meeting that Sveta no longer needed occupational therapy, but I was pleased that the therapist gave me her phone number in case I ever had questions or concerns. Sveta was also administered "The Wechsler Intelligence Scale for Children - Fourth Edition (WISC–IV), where her overall Full Scale score (IQ) was 56. Had I not been prepared to hear that, it would have been very discouraging since that is considered mildy mentally retarded. But the school still feels that language is still a barrier and that her score will most likely go up in the next three years. Honestly though, the research I have done says otherwise, and so I have learned to be happy and enjoy Sveta with where she is at and if she shows more progress during her next evaluation then wooo-hooo. If not, it doesn't matter. Regardless, she is who she is, and we love her no matter what.

So why do I share this? Because Sveta has Fetal Alcohol Syndrome and for many adoptive parents, that is one of the things they fear most about adoption. Well I am here to say, don't fear it! Sveta may very well trail behind her classmates, but she also has shown tremendous growth in areas I wasn't sure was possible. So much of what I read is so darn negative about FAS, and frankly I am tired of it. She continues to surprise us with new things everyday---- and it makes me take nothing for granted. When she takes on double digit multiplication, I cheer her on----- unlike my ho-hum expectations that my other children just need to hurry up and learn it and get it done. It is refreshing.

More than just her academic ability, I do feel it is important to "protect" Sveta. All children with special needs are vulnerable to being teased and bullied. Not that all children don't have the potential to be bullied--- but children with special needs are not even aware most of the time that they are being made fun of--- and that bothers me. I am extra sensitive to this and want to make sure that the school stays on top of all situations that arise-- because Sveta herself can instigate a child unknowingly and make them mad. This is something that I struggle with more than her academics-- because the world can be a cruel place. To help avoid run ins with bullies, I have instructed Sveta not to stare or say things that others may not think are very nice. Telling a classmate that her shoes look old and dirty may very well be a truthful statement but one that would not be well received. Sveta doesn't quite yet understand this and has made a few girls upset. Thankfully for her sisters, they have been able to not only diffuse the situation, but they have been able to take Sveta under their wings to make sure she stays away from trouble.

I could not imagine life without my Sveta. She makes the world a livelier place. If you ever have questions about FAS, please feel free to ask.

Like a Babushka

William's class learned alot about him this week. This poster tells all about him.

For Career Day, Grandma put Rachel's hair in curlers.

Doesn't Rachel look like a Babushka next to a Dedushka?

Here is Julia modeling the most recent scarf she made. It is a pretty light pink and soft brown. It turned out really nice, I think.

This kind of sums it up

This is a video that shares why we chose to adopt again.

To Study or to Strip...... that is the question

Dennis is such a chunk of love. Rachel and I love to squeeze his fat! Since July 2008, Dennis has gained almost 10 pounds! And have I mentioned how tall he is getting?

He loves to eat little pieces of crushed ice, just like his sisters taught him to. Here he is enjoying a cupful of ice as he lounges on the couch.
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We have a routine in our home. As soon as the kids get home from school, it is homework time. Not play time, not snack time, not watch tv time...... but homework time. We had tried evening homework and it was a disaster--- with whiny, tired kids not wanting to refocus on schoolwork after playing outside. I think this works for us because the kids come home and before they have a chance to get out of school mode, they focus on their homework and get it done----- looking forward to the snack that they will get halfway through their homework. It has become a routine---- for many years now, and it works great!

Without even asking (or bribing), Adam will help Rachel with her math homework now. This is huge since Adam used to loathe any kind of tutoring. We kept encouraging him that by helping his siblings, it was preparing him for a possible job in high school and college as a tutor. We kept telling him that we knew he had the potential to be a great teacher. I also promised him a few Oreos, or a candy bar, or a few bucks if he successfully got his sister to understand her homework. I'm not sure what worked-- maybe it was a combination, but it is no longer like pulling teeth to get him to help. Praise God.
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Dennis is 2 1/2 years old now. That means he thinks he can dress himself, take off his shoes, help himself to snacks in the pantry, buckle his own carseat, brush his own teeth, and pull down his pants whenever he feels like it.

He has a really cute act of "stripping", sometimes losing his balance and stumbling to the floor where he will continue to take his pants off with his feet straight in the air.
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Last night some of the kids went to church while a few stayed home and studied or swam in the 77 degree pool. Poor Jonny kept opening his eyes under water and "burned" them. I had to put drops in them just to get him to stop crying--- but boy, did his eyes look puffy for the rest of the night.

It didn't stop him from playing with Dennis however, and I ended up helping them build block towers. My Rachelita studied for her social studies test. She has improved her study habits so much this year..... I am so proud of her. I think I need to remind her more often of what a great job I think she is doing.

I felt incredibly lazy last night. earlier in the day, Jonny, Dennis and I washed my van and cleaned off the driveway--- I guess it wiped me out.

It is so nice to be able to just lazily lay around and watch your kids play.
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After Daddy read with Andrew, the younger boys gathered around him to hang out.

They love to talk with their Daddy..... especially when he plays "Happy Birthday" on the accordion.

A.K.A The Child Collector

Recently (and on numerous occasions) it has been implied that I am some sort of "child collector" who should be adopting from America if I am going to adopt at all. While the term is probably most offensive to my children because it makes children seem like objects, it is not that bad since it also implies that children are worthy. I mean who afterall, collects things that are not of value at least in the eye of the beholder? I don't know not a one person.

And believe me, my children are absolutely precious to me. They are the rarest of gems...... each and every one of them. Some shine so bright and have an indescribable brilliance when you look into them. Others, I have had the privilege of carving away the dirt in the crevices resulting in a priceless diamond from the rough. Oh, how that meticulous work has paid off.

When I think of all of the other things that I could be, I honestly and wholeheartedly would not want to be anything else. If what I am appears to be a child collector to some, then a child collector I am. God has given me my husband, and my children, and most blessedly has given my dreams wings. I am enjoying my large family to the fullest and love the fact that I got to "collect" my children from all over the world.

First God blessed John and I with six biological children. Each birth was very special to both of us and brought us closer together as a husband and wife. Later God closed that door because He wanted to show us where our other children were. He made it perfectly clear that they were not anywhere in America because the laws in this country said our house wasn't big enough. So we were led to two beautiful girls all the way in Ivanovo, Russia. A year later we did adopt here in America--- twice in fact. Nice that we didn't have to travel far to find these two beautiful diamonds. Later on, I knew that our collection was not complete so we traveled to Ukraine for another little boy. He was most certainly our biggest find----- people are amazed by his beauty and inner strength. I am so thankful that we trusted God that Dennis was indeed supposed to be part of our collection. While we were there, another little boy grabbed our attention, but we didn't want to appear like greedy collectors snatching up all of them gems so we came home and told lots and lots of people about this precious gem. But no one else stepped up to add this child to their collection so we thought what the heck! What is one more???

P.S. Are there any other child collectors out there?

A Full Weekend

William is the student of the week in his class. It was really nice sitting down with him and making this picture montage together to take to class tomorrow to share with his classmates.

He is so excited!

Andrew and Jonny started T-ball this weekend.

Andrew loved it, and felt the day was the bestest family day ever because it started with T-ball and ended with a backyard fire with roasted marshmallows! What an easy boy to please!

Jonny also had fun!

John said the two boys had a great time with each other!

This weekend I helped the girls go through all of their clothes. Anna is growing so lots of her clothes no longer fit her. Since she is the smallest and has no one to hand them down to, we bagged them up to give to local charity. I was able to set aside some of the nicer clothing to take to the orphanage with us.

Andrew and William got creative today. They made up this obstacle course to drive a little remote car through. The object of the game was to maneuver their remote control car to knock over the Pepsi cans.

They were so proud of themselves for being so creative!

John helped Sveta with her mission project. She really wanted to do as much of it herself that she could so John kept it simple. It turned out great nonetheless and Sveta can't wait to go to school and share what she learned about her mission.

FYI

Andrew taped the scissors. He doesn't even know why.

Sounds like something a seven year old would do. :)

Please Pray for This Little Baby!

Ashley is a wonderful mother to be---- she and her husband are waiting to submit their dossier to adopt an older boy and she is 20 weeks pregnant. Today she started having consistent contractions. The precious little baby is very premature to be born now and survive. Please go visit her blog, and let her know that you are thinking of them as you join me in prayer.

Just Another Day

Anna is a great helper! She is also a pretty good scrapbooker! Here she is backing pictures of Alexsey on colored paper. They are are going to be used at the adoption fundraiser tomorrow.

Dennis feeds himself now, and he does a great job of it too! He not only leans over his bowl when I ask him too, but he also takes his spoon and wipes his chin with it to get up the excess drips. It is so cute!

"Mom look right there. Can you see? That is where I threw my cookie."

Adam with Dolly curled up on his chest. Awwww, I don't see this very often.

Every once in a while, I need to remind myself to get in a few of the pictures.

Here is my Mom and I on Easter. She came to church to watch our cardboard testimonies. It was a wonderful service, and I enjoyed cooking in the kitchen with her after.

Lastly, I leave you with this mystery. One of my kids keeps taping the scissors shut. This is the third time.

So far I have asked four of the "older" children (when I remember) and they all look at me like, "Come on Mom, do I look like I would do such a thing?" Ummm....... I'm wondering the same thing.

If This Doesn't Make You Smile

Today was a big day. Dennis got his eye!

I am just so happy for him! I love him no matter what, just like many of you have shared with me how special you think Dennis is, but I wanted to be able to have him feel a little more normal without all of the cruel stares from people who just don't understand. What is so strange however, is that now that he has gotten his eye and had his surgeries, I am not sure that the stares are going to go away------ only because he is just too adorable to not stare at!

The ocularist has only one eye himself since a cousin or brother took his eye out with a slingshot when he was only eighteen months old. I think that because of this, he was able to relate to Dennis. Dennis was not a very happy camper today..... this was probably one of his more traumatic procedures. So, the ocularist picked up on that and decided to not do an actual impression of Dennis' eye socket since he himself knows how uncomfortable it is. Because of this, this eye is going to be replaced within the next six months when Dennis has another surgery and is put to sleep. The ocularist will take the impression then and make a better fitting eye for Dennis. Still, this eye plays an important role of establishing a groove on the lower eyelid where the prosthesis sits and allowing his eye tissue to take shape around the artificial eye.