As he is developing his personality and we have gotten to know him over the past year and a half-- there are some "unique" things about him.
Like how he holds his fork. No matter how I try to correct him-- he always reverts to holding his fork or spoon like this.
I think it is so cute. Yet, I also see how awkward it is for him and how the fork doesn't fit into his mouth as well because of how Dennis has it positioned. So I wonder if I should correct him or just let him be. He is starting to hold his pencil this way too.
I think this is one I will ask the occupational therapist about.
Another thing about Dennis is that he absolutely hates being covered up or wearing warm pajamas. Anyone else have that problem? Over time, he has gotten better about tolerating a light blanket covering him because I continually go in and cover him up so he won't be cold. I also snuggle with him in bed and he will fall asleep with the covers on before pushing them off. But if my little pudding cup had his way-- he would run around in shorts and a t-shirt in the dead of winter!
Dennis has a big surgery coming up in two weeks. We will be staying overnight. He will be having his right temple worked on. And the best part----- Dennis will be getting an eye mold for his permanent eye prosthesis! We are so excited for him--- yet my heart aches for him because he now knows what to expect and gets very teary-eyed and sad when the nurse takes him
from me to the operating room.
I am also a little concerned for Alex. This will be the first time that he will see Dennis with bandages and stitches. I have no idea how he is going to react but I imagine it will be a little scary for him.
Sweet Jesus, please prepare all of our hearts for this upcoming surgery. May we all feel your loving comfort.
16 inspiring thoughts:
I have adopted five children now and two of them have needed multiple surgeries. We have found that if we request to go back into the OR, until they are sedated enough to not become upset, they both do better. While some doctors disagree, we tell our doctors about the attachment process and after the first time, one said my son did a lot better waking up, than when we let the nurse take him into the OR. Another option would be to carry him back to the OR. (We did this for one surgery where the doctor did not allow us to stay with my daughter.)This has helped both of my children feel more comfortable around doctors and nurses, because they have realized that the doctors and nurses won't take them away from their mom (and dad).
Shannon P.
my brother who is SN is 38 years old and still holds his pen and fork like that.
Re the surgery - I will be praying for ALL of you. Re the spoon/fork issue - have you tried the 'toddler' spoons/forks? Gerber makes a set with a really FAT handle - it would be very difficult for Dennis to hold it incorrectly - my 3 yr old did the same thing when she was about 2 - the fat handles gently forced the correction.
He is growing up so fast. So cute too!!!! Praying for the surgery, for all of you, and for the surgeons. May God cover you all in HIS LOVE & HEALING!
Can you have the nurse give him a dose of versed? I had the nurses give that to him the second and third time he had a surgery because the second we walked into the surgery clinic, he knew what was going on.
It really did wonders for him. Just made him really relaxed where he didn't care that the nurse carried him off. He also woke up doing really well.
Carson is also in that stage right now where he takes his shoes, socks, and pants off. So far we are leaving our shirt on but he keeps undressing all day long. I will finally give up halfway through the day and just let him run around without any pants on. LOL (oh, only when we are home of course).
I will pray for a smooth surgery.
Hmm we're always allowed in until the child is anaesthetised; is that not possible? Absolutely horrible watching your child go under but better for the child I think.
Re: Alex's anxiety, could you prepare him by showing him some photos of Alex after previous surgeries when he's had bandages and stitches and other bits and pieces going on? Might reassure him that this has happened before and that Denis gets better?
Tia
The blankets and such could be sensory issues. You could talk to your OT about it as well as the forks. And yes, though it is cute now, it will affect the way he writes and such, better to correct in now.
Praying for the surgery!!!
Delighting in Him
I agree with all the abover's.... It is unnecessary for him to be without you while he is awake. Versed should be given before he leaves your arms, and you are the first face he should see when he wakes up. :)
I wonder if Alex has seen other kids with bandages from his orphanage experience?
Erika and Sarah both had surgeries in Ukraine, that the other children were exposed to.
He sure is growing up!
We too have one that HATES blankets and pjs. I had to take all her summer clothes and put them away for good or she'd be wearing shorts and a tshirt in 30 degrees, claiming she was hot! LOL
It isn't uncommon for kids with limb loss to be hotter than normal.
I suspect it is sensory though, because of how he holds his fork, and pencil AND is picky about covers and pj's.
You might also consider that he may have been tightly swaddled (like a straight jacket) at the orphanage.
They do this, and both our girl's remember.
He may have an aversion to the blankets because of that.
Can he tolerate a blanket sleeper?
I understand your dread regarding the upcoming surgery, even though us Mom's know it's for the best, it's so hard to subject our babes to the trauma of it all (both physical and emotional). Just rest on the fact that you are really doing it for his own good and in the long run he will be oh, so thankful to you for having the courage to go through with it for his sake!
Regarding the fork/pencil grip, I agree with your instinct and recommend talking to his OT to see if she can help you find a grip like mentioned by Anon, that will gently force a correct grip. Better to correct him now, when he is young, before the habit is so deeply ingrained that you can't reverse it and it affects his ability to efficiently manage a pencil/pen in school. I am an Educational Assistant, and really feel for the kids who struggle with their fine motor tasks.
Wishing you and yours a VERY Merry Christmas!
One of our sons also had two surgeries when he was 2. Both times they gave him versed and he was happy as a clam when they took him away. That would be sooo hard, to watch them take him away with tears in his eyes.
The other posters idea of showing Alex pictures sounds like a good one. Might help more so than just telling him what to expect, though setting expectations is so important when they are young.
I was in the hospital recently with pneumonia, first to the ER and then later admitted. My husband brought our two sons back to see me in the ER and one of them was very upset to see me with all of the "stuff" attached (oxygen, heart monitor, blood pressure and pulseox, IV, etc.). Before he brought them to the hospital to visit, I reminded him to prepare them for what it would be like and what I would be/look like and things went very smoothly.
I hope it all goes very smoothly.
Will say a prayer for your little cutie pie.
One of the young men who teaches in my RE program grips his pen in an even more tortured position than that! I was about to say something funny and "teacherly" about it - then I looked at his writing and it was lovely. So...I suppose in this day and age it is more important to watch how he uses a keyboard.
It's been so fun to watch Dennis bloom!
I use to hold my pencil and fork really awkward. My Mom thought it was because I'm left handed but, I figured it out eventually.
My friend has a horrible time keeping her 3 year old in warm clothes. He always wants to be in shorts, without even a shirt on! She pulled all his shorts out of his drawer and put them away for the winter, he managed to find the 1 pair of swimming shorts left out and put them on. WE live in Washington and it gets soooo cold. She told him he can wear whatever he wants IN THE HOUSE but if they leave, or go outside he must wear pants and a coat. He is so scrawny I have no idea how he isn't cold!
may the angels surround your entire family and comfort you as your little one goes under the procedure
As I was reading your post the thought came to me, how PREPARED you have been by GOD, to encounter and adequately handle all the surgeries etc. Not everyone could do what your doing and that's truly why you've been chosen! I loved reading this post. Dennis has surely grown and so fast I might add. Your little guys life has changed so much in the past year and a half and it just makes my heart melt to think about it! I will pray that everyone will be prepared for Dennis and that he will do well with the surgery. Look forward to more updates and posts ;)
My youngest hated blankets for the longest time! He will happily strip down to a diaper and even when the rest of us are all bundled up, he's bopping around and refusing to put any clothes on.
For the blankets, my mom made each of the boys a quilt and she made them with strips of dozens of different fabrics and then wrote them letters telling them to look for the frogs, or the flowers, etc. Also, she used a really furry backing on them. Well, now my little guy won't sleep without his special "Gamma blanket", so that problem is solved. Don't know what to do about the not wearing clothes though, we have yet to figure that one out!
I can't get over how grown up he looks!!
Praying for Dennis's surgery to be uneventful, quick healing, have terrific pain control, no infections and awesome results. Praying for comfort for you all.
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