First off, I have the sniffles. I think it is a cold--- but since I am not used to being sick-- whatever it is that I have is driving me bonkers and making my nose raw.
Probably why I had a short fuse with William today. I had tons of driving around to do and William was in one of his moods. He all of a sudden couldn't stand to be bugged by anyone even though 99% of the time he is the instigator--- his way to solve the problem-- hit or bop over the head whoever happens to irritate him. Nothing I said could get him to stop so I threatened to hold him down and tickle him for two minutes when we got home if he hit someone else. He did. So I made good on my promise. Looking back-- it was not a wise thing to do but in the end he took a shower to cool off and ended up apologizing to three of his siblings.
I have decided to up Annalyn's medication to the next dosage amount. I think we will give it a full month to kick in before we move on to something else. The idea of giving her coffee intrigues me, so I would love to hear more on that. I wonder if coffee and Strattera mix.
John's car broke down today. I got a call at 5:00am from the gas station. Against my better judgement, John had the car towed to the Ford dealership. I just had a feeling they were going to try and rip us off. Sure enough they came back with an estimate of nearly $1200 to which I about choked. I called the place we normally go to and they said they could do the same exact thing for under $500. You better believe that I arranged for the car to be towed tomorrow morning-- and no I don't mind paying for a $50 tow and $90 diagnostic fee in addition to work order. I am still saving us over $500---- and that's no chump change.
Today Alex's preschool teacher told me that he didn't have a good day. In fact, he seems to be having more bad days than good. And yet he loves school-- and looks forward to it-- so I am at a loss as to what to think. As of right now-- he needs someone with him every second or else he is getting into things, touching things he shouldn't be, willfully doing things he knows he shouldn't be. And then as soon as he knows he is about to be disciplined for his actions-- he brings on the charm with that cute little look. Brings me back to those last few days in Ukraine. Looking ahead, his preschool teacher said that if things do not improve over the year he would most likely be looking at needing a one-on-one aide or a special day class-- neither of which I am too excited about because Alex is just so dang smart. Yes, he needs assistance, but no he doesn't need someone there to do everything for him and he most certainly needs to be challenged.
Lord-- bring me patience on this issue. Help me to stay firm with him..... yet I need to clean slate him throughout the day so that he actually wants to do better. Make sense?
Lots of appointments are coming up for both Alex and Dennis----- thank you Mom for offering to come and stay with the kids-- you are an answer to prayer!
On a good note-- Sveta counted money today-- and I mean really counted! I was so impressed and excited for her----- I think I caught her off guard by praising her even hours after her homework was done. How do I know-- she didn't get grumpy with me when I asked her to come into the house because it was dark and she didn't need me to tell her to go to bed! Mental note to self--- Sveta reacts positively to continual praise.
23 inspiring thoughts:
Maybe Alex wasn't quite ready for school yet?
I've heard that coffee can help too, although I've not been in a position to try it. Just one of those tips I have filed for future reference!
Re: the 1:1 aide, I'd just like to say Little Fish has that in school; she's in a regular programme but has an aide with her all the time. Now I'm sure it helps that her aide is excellent, but it definitely isn't the case that the aide does everything for her. In fact she's doing even more for herself than ever before - the aide is there to keep her focussed and redirect her when necessary, as well as to manage all her physical and medical needs. The aide doesn't hover, but is always on hand when needed.
If LF had stayed in a special programme, she would not have had the 1:1 but would instead have been part of a very small group. The teacher of the special programme was worried that always having 1:1 would take away her independence. Having seen how LF was in preschool, always sitting on someone's lap, I was a bit worried. But this has honestly been the very best thing for her.
The aide is there instantly whenever LF has a need to be met; she doesn't have to wait to use the toilet until someone happens to be free to take her. That's quite a big thing for her. Interestingly, the other children in the class don't seem to be aware that this extra member of staff is officially just there for LF, which to me says that she's working with other children too when LF is actively engaged in an activity. So it seems to be of benefit to everyone.
Something I hadn't previously thought about - where there is one member of staff with several children, if one child needs some help with something, the aide has to be as quick as possible in order to keep an eye on the other children too. But with 1:1 LF can take as long as she needs in order to do things for herself. I admit, I'm rushed in the mornings and so I tend to dress her myself. But more and more, LF is coming home from school and showing me how she can do it herself.
Instead of having to be pulled out of class to do physiotherapy at a time chosen by the therapist, her aide can do her exercises whenever it fits best into the school day. Ditto her speech and language therapy, OT, and other stuff she needs.
I hope that's reassuring?
Tia
Sorry that you had such a hard time with William today. I pray that a new day will bring a new William.
I agree with others who commented about giving Annalyn coffee. Well that is if she likes it. In children with ADHD it does help to calm them and keep them focused. You would think the opposite but it is not. I believe there was even a official study done on this. I will see if I can find it online and get you the link. I do have to say though that my son at one point was on Strattera and then Concerta and both meds made him moody, sad, angry, and have absolutely no appetite. I finally had to make the decision to take him off all meds and home school him. Obviously that is not an option for you but you do need to keep an eye on her. Especially if her reaction to it are affecting her personality so severely that you don't even recognize her.
Alex may be just testing his limits but if he is as smart as you say he is he may just be bored and not challenged enough during the day. My son Nicholas doesn't have any of the challenges that Alex has medically but when he started school we were having the same issues with behavior. All through kindergarten and 1st grade I was constantly at school because of the same kinds of issues that Alex is having. Finally in 2nd grade my son told me that the work was just too easy and he was bored. When his teacher started challenging him almost all of the bad behaviors stopped. Maybe Alex just needs a little more structure at school and more activities that challenge his mind and body. Just something to consider!
Well done Sventa xxx
Arghhh..I'm getting sick two. I am forcing myself to make a doc's appoinment this afternoon..
..
Over here..the doctor told us stratera..take 4-6 weeks to show before you seen any huge improvments.
Feel better.
xo
My kids both calm with caffiene. Its worth a try. I am 99% sure that I am ADHD too and I drink coffee like its water, if i dont I cant focus or organize anything to save my life! My son likes the international delight coffees that are instant. You can get them in really yummy flavors, and he also LOVES iced vanilla lattes. My daughter perfers Mountian dew.. it works well with her because she doesnt have a sugar high reaction. We use this route when we are out later than normal and their meds are wearing off or they are having an extra rough day focusing and calming. good luck.. i know its a tough road. My son was on quite a few meds before we found a good fit because his body metabolized the extended release meds too fast.
I can really relate with what you went through with William. My asperger's child will have days like that. Today he got up after everyone else and then came out and proceeded to start giving orders to everyone without even knowing what was going on, just getting in everyone's business.
Christine,
If Alex is getting into trouble at pre k, is it possible to keep him home with his "groupa", if he doesn't listen? :) Maybe a plan, that if he doesn't listen after 1 warning, mom is called and he will have to go home. If that is made good on, I just bet things will be different.
Great news about Annalyn!
Please Lord, let today be a better day. Amen.
Mom
I don't know about Streterra (sp?) and coffee mixing, but I CAN tell you that coffee does help. I have a 9 year old with ADD, but his dad refuses to get meds for him (50/50 custody, must agree on BIG choices), so he doesn't get anything. However, I learned from a spec. ed teacher friend of mine to try giving him a strong cup of coffee. We don't do it often, just on days when he is literally out of control, but when we give it to him, he calms down. It'a amazing. THe caffein actualy helps those little spastic brain waves slow down and connect te way they are supposed to.
An aide might be a good thing for awhile. The aide doesn't "do everything" for a child, just keeps him/her on track and does what needs to be done to keep the child on task and progressing. It enables him or her to stay in the regular classroom so as to learn, without taking too much of the classroom teacher's time and attention.
The only downside might be, I suppose, if he is actually DOING these things to get attention.
Christine,
My son Dustin (who has FAS) got a one to one aide because he is unable to control his impulses. I was concerned she would mother him so we addressed that immediately. The school trained her to only be his "external brain" to control his need to get into everything (or stop him from running) and not to interfere with his work.
It was the best decision we ever made! It has made an awesome improvement in his schooling.
Please be open minded and remember to voice those concerns and have them address them right off. I promise it will be good!
good luck!
Z still has a para and so does O. They really do help with the regulation of impulse control and give instant feedback to your child. They DO NOT do for your child what they can do for themselves, only what's in the IEP. If A doesn't get the immediate attention he needs he will continue to get disruptive until he learns his needs will be met and can settle down. Took Z a year, still waiting on O!
Praying things are improving today. :)
Yay for Sveta!!
I have only been reading your blog for a few months, so I do not know if you have mentioned the book "The Connected Child". I just finished it this summer and started implementing some of the ideas for kids from 'hard places'. We are having really good success. One of the suggestions is kind of like over-praising you kids. When I tried it, it felt really fakey to me, but the kids really responded to it. Sounds like the same idea with Sveta.
Delighting in Him
We have tried vyvance and it worked wonders! We love it, but I know there are a lot out there. We hemmed and hawed over it for 4 months and prayed like crazy, but in the end it was so worth it. I wish I had done it earlier!
Coffee does work a bit, but I have never seen a difference when he is on the meds, only when off. Maybe try it first thing. Our son LOVES coffee.
Our son loves school too, but continued to get worse and worse with his behavior as well. Nothing too mean, just WAY busy and boundries mean nothing to him (still do'nt after 5 years!). He has a full time aide in a regular classroom and it is wonderful! I think they get too comfortable and if you ask me, their brains need more than sitting at a desk. That is why he gets in trouble. But the aide helps. She is great at redirecting him or taking him out for walks, play time or work in another area of the school.
blessings,
Sue
Hello,
Thanks for following our blog loveknowsnolomits. Yes we do live close to each other. I first read about your family in a Reedley magazine that had an article about your family. My In-laws live in Reedley and get that magazine and shared it with us. I enjoy following the happenings in your family as well. Maybe one of these days we could meet.
Tamra
Hi Christine,
I am a psychiatrist although not a child one. If Annalyn is not doing well on Strattera then it may be worth speaking to her doctor about trying a different medication. It can really be trial and error and waiting a month is not likely going to change much. By all means try the increased dose but if she has side effects etc then it may not be the drug for her.
For Alex, maybe make sure you and the teacher are on the same page- same discipline and that he knows you are communicating. He is still so new to all this I would not get my knickers in a knot over his behaviour of the month. This is likely testing. Any one kid, easy to manage. Maybe two acting out at the same time but once you get up to 3, 4 issues plus feel lousy.. well this too shall pass.
And well trained aide can be awesome! Alex might be bright and charming but institutionalization results in social-emotional delays. They estimate a child is delayed one month for every three months the child spend in the orphanage. The behavior you are describing sounds like an impulsive, stimulated, and curious toddler! He may not behave this way at home because of the security and guidance he experiences from family, from attachment relationships. Think of the aide as a secure base for Alex in the school setting while he negotiates his "toddler years" of development- he will catch up fast! Also, an aide should be facilitating dependency- just providing enough prompts and cues for him to contain him impulses and "get with the program".
We had great success with Strattera with the boys for a long time, slowly increasing their dosage as they grew. It takes 6-8 weeks to "load" and isn't a fast stimulate but stays in their system longer...you probably know all this. Be patient. I was sad when it became evident we'd "outgrown" it and had to move to something else. Challenges. Even on meds - everyday is an ADD day.
Sometimes, when it rains, it pours :) Give it time - the magic cure - and keep on keeping on. You'll be fine. Lots of love from all of us!
I don't think you are supposed to mix stimulant medications and caffeine.
Keri
I understand you'd be frustrated with Alex's situation, but please also think of the teacher. I guess schools are different, but she probably has fifteen other children to supervise during the day. If one particular child needs such close supervision because he's disruptive or can't be trusted to behave himself on his own (whether it's of his own willfulness or a disability) then an aide is really a necessity, for the teacher's sanity and the operation of the class! :)
Also, a good aide would not simply assist Alex with tasks, but would challenge and help develop him too. It could be of enormous benefit to him :)
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