Is There Such a Thing As a Happy Pill?

I want what is best for my children. Always. And often times that means realizing that I don't have all the answers. Nooo, it would be way too easy if we did. Instead, our (meaning mine and hopefully yours) life buoys on the grace that our Heavenly Father provides second by second, moment by moment, and our journey moves forward as a result of learning from the mistakes we make along the way. And boy do I make a lot of mistakes.

Since I could remember, I have always been one of those parents that were against medication accept in rare cases. For the most part, I tried to mentally blame the parents-- because I obviously had angels for children that could do no wrong. Slowly, God began to change the circumstances in my life in order to break down that lack of humility, and he continues to do so each and every day. I make it no secret, that we have had our fair share of trials amongst the thousands of smiles, and I will admit that I have had to be led like a stubborn donkey a few times in order to do what was best in one of my children's lives.

Today marks one of those times----- in a monumental way. I started one of our children on Strattera for ADD. Now when I say I, of course I mean we, because John too has had a change of heart and mind. And we are both okay with this decision, as is our daughter, and we are excited at the potential our daughter has to be able to focus and improve the overall quality of her life as a result.

Some of her symptoms are:

Often does not give close attention to details or make careless mistakes in schoolwork, work, or other activities
Often has trouble keeping attention on tasks or play activities
Often does not seem to listen when spoken to directly
Often does not follow instructions and fails to finish schoolwork, chores, or duties in the workplace (not due to rebellious behavior or failure to understand instructions)
Often has trouble organizing activities
Often avoids, dislikes, or doesn't want to do things that take a lot of mental effort for a long period of time (such as schoolwork or homework)
Often loses things needed for tasks and activities (e.g., toys, school assignments, pencils, books, or tools)
Is often easily distracted
Is often forgetful in daily activities.

Yes, this is the same daughter that I thought had attachment issues, and while I can still admit that she may have very mild attachment issues, in my heart I know that she isn't doing 99% of what she does on purpose or for lack of attachment. And the doctor agreed.

And yes, it has taken three years to get here. And yes, I can hit myself up over the head because it took so long for us to get to this point, but you know what--- we have gotten to this point and I think it took this long for a reason. Now, our daughter trusts us enough to know that we aren't putting all of our faith in this medicine, and we have told her not to either. Imagine that kind of pressure. She also trusts that we have decided to move in this direction in order to help her feel better about herself and be able to better maintain the relationships she has instead of frustrating not only herself but the other people in her life (including me) who can easily misinterpret all of her actions as manipulative, laziness, or ditsy.

I wish I could say that things are definitely going to change-- but I have learned to take things day by day. I am not sure what tomorrow holds in terms of seeing an improvement, but at least today, a new door was opened.

And speaking of doors---- I so angrily almost shut the door on our progress we have been making with William. John and I both know that there is no such thing as too much attention you can give a child as long as it is constructive and loving and positive--- and if it is possible that it is just that easy to see an improvement in William's behavior, then we would be fools to not put forth the effort. And so we have. We have been reading with him more, letting him come in and wake us up early in the morning so we can go downstairs and supervise him making us eggs for breakfast and then eating together, and just having him be closer to us..... period. This has definitely made our relationship with our son stronger and better so that he is less defensive when he hears the way we see things--- but it has not helped with the outrageous initial reactions he has in social interactions that cause him to fly off the handle. Just last night at church, he was playing soccer with 10 other kids and he kept accusing them all of cheating so he would get the ball and not let them have it. This continued on, and he could not see that even if another child was cheating--- none of the other kids seemed to mind because they were all having fun instead. Needless to say, he had to come home with us instead of staying during kids church-- and that meant more one on one time with us. So yay for that-- but nay at the same time for his inability to see that having fun was more important than focusing on the rules.

So we came home, and spent time with him. And the night ended on a beautiful note. In the morning, William came to wake us up before anyone else was up so that he could make us eggs again for breakfast. I was feeling incredibly rushed having to get not only myself showered and dressed but Alex and Dennis too, so that we could get out the door by 7:15 ( to take Caleb and Annalynto the doctor) in addition to getting everyone else ready for school. In the midst of our hurried morning, I don't even know how, but William tripped over the little potty that Dennis had just used and quickly picked it up in a last stitch effort to set it back down. Instead he froze as the pee rained down all over the floor. When I saw it, I immediately yelled at him for not thinking on his feet and setting it down rightside up before all the pee dripped out.

But it was too late. As soon as it came out of my mouth, I regretted it.

Ugh......... an apology just doesn't quite feel adequate to me. Of course, it has to be, but I knew better. And somehow saying I was feeling stressed and rushed is really no excuse.

I am going to work on this---- I need to. Just as much as I expect William to work on his issues.

Lord, help us both.

P.S. Thank you blogreaders for the the wonderful suggestions to look into ADHD and spend more time with our son. I am always open to ideas and differing opinions--- and will even post them all if they are written with respect. Truly... thank you.