Digest 15

Here I am finally doing another digest. Trust me, I read all of your comments but I just don't always get around to answering them all. I am sorry. In order to play catch up, I went back to the last digest and picked questions here and there from the last five months.

Mom2agr8kid said...
I love your blog; it's getting to be my morning addiction!I was wondering if Dennis' eye lid functions. Is he able to close his eye? Is there any therapy to help strengthen his eye muscle to improve the "tracking" of the prosthetic? Maybe when he's older?

Thank you, I am glad to see you get some enjoyment from my blog. You should check out Jen's blog or Debbie's blog--- I am get so much from each of them. As far as Dennis' eye lid function-- he doesn't have any. Period. Because he has very little extra skin and flesh around the eye there is no give-- even though you can see the muscle occasionally try to blink. He should have better movement with the prosthetic eye as soon as a more permanent one is made. That time has not yet been determined much to my disappointment. We were told it would be next month, but having everyone coordinate their schedule has proven to be quite the challenge. I keep telling all of them, "All we need is a moment's notice, and we'll be there."

Rachel said...
Could you post your chili mac recipe? It looks good!

Sure. I am embarrassed at how simple it is. Three ingredients. One, two, or three boxes of any brand mac and cheese, one or two cans of any brand chili, and one can of drained corn. Enjoy.

Anonymous said...
I apologise if this is too personal, but at what age were Rachel and Annalyn adopted by their previous families?

Annalyn was originally adopted from Russia when she was six. She became a part of our family when she was eight. Rachel was adopted by her first family when she was ten years old. She joined our family when she was eleven.

melissamoss79 said...
I do not know if you will see this or be able to personally answer this but I decided to ask anyway. My son was diagnosed with sensory integration disorder when he was 2 years old.He is now 3 years old. I believe it is your son William who has this same disorder. Since moving overseas to Germany with my family my son has not been able to receive OT services and so his issues have gotten worse. We just came back from vacation and while on vacation I definately saw the difference between him and other children his age. We went to the Netherlands and while the rest of our family enjoyed the flowers and scenery my 3 year old became totally overstimulated and tantrumed the whole time until he fell asleep exhausted. He was more interested in the little placards that told the names of the flowers than the flowers themselves. He was obsessed with finding and touching every single placard in the park. He is so overwhelmed with his sensory issues that he is very behind for his age verbally. He can't even answer a simple question like "What did you do at the park?". Yet he can recite the whole alphabet and recognize all the letters, sing numerous songs in which I understand every word he's saying and act out full dialog from his favorite movies. It is so strange that he has some skills that are age appropriate but lacking in others. The reason for all the background is to ask you a couple of questions. 1) When was William diagnosed with sensory issues, how have they manifested through the years and how have you dealt with them?2)Is he behind for his age in any areas(academically or socially)?3)Does he have issues with being overstimulated at home or while you are out with the family and if so how do you deal with it?Right now I am so overwhelmed with dealing with my son's sensory issues(which at times makes the whole family miserable) and with homeschooling my other 3 children that I feel at my wits end. Any help or advice you can give me as a mom with an older child with sensory issues would be greatly appreciated. If you can't answer this in a blog and would prefer to e-mail me my e-mail address is melissamoss79@live.com. Thank you for being so honest in your blog about everything you deal with on a daily basis with your family. It really does help those of us out here reading your blog who are also struggling day to day with parenting.

1) William was diagnosed with sensory issues when he was five years old. 2) He is not behind socially or academically per se, yet it is obvious that he lacks the social skills most of his peers have. 3) He is better at not getting overstimulated, but that came with time. He didn't enjoy Disneyland when he was younger because the noise and lights were just too much. He asked to come home after just one hour of being there. Now he thrives on roller coasters and anything that spins and thrills him! He is particular with certain clothing, he has trouble recognizing what he is holding in his hands unless he is able to see it because the feeling in his hands does not compute with his brain. Because of this, he bites his fingers and rubs his hands often so that he can have some feeling in them. I can't explain it, but this makes writing difficult because he grasps his pencil way too hard and over exerts himself-- same with tying his shoes. One thing that I have found works well for William is to give him tight hugs and scratch his back while I am hugging him. It calms him.

Thomas said...
My wife and I adopted a little boy who is 7 years old and has FAS. I loved reading your post on Sveta but do you think she will always have to live with you or do you think she will be able to live and work independently? My wife and I love reading your blog learning from all your experiences.

Sveta continues to surprise me everyday. What she was like last year, is not how she is today. Well, sure she still gets grumpy very easily but as far as academics, she is learning new things that I never thought possible. For example, she is learning to count money and tell time. Two years ago, I was convinced this would never happen. Yet look at her now! Does that mean that she can count change as fast as my six year old--- no, or does it mean that she will not prefer to look at a digital clock because it takes her two minutes to figure out the time on a regular clock-- no. What it does mean is that Sveta is capable of far more than I once thought her to be. I am not sure that she will be 100% independent because she still lacks common sense, is easily persuaded, and can't communicate what is on her mind, but only the future will tell. I can go on and on about how unique Sveta is------ I have learned from her that you cannot put FAS in a box. I think FAS affects each child differently.

The Dulls said...
Do you have a "schedule" for your days or weeks? Is there a certain day you go to the store, clean, etc? What types of things do you do with Dennis during the day? Is it scheduled at all? Needing some fresh ideas and activities for my kids and for me to do with them during the day. :) Thanks!

My schedule is as follows.
6:30am- wake up
drink coffee
7:15 - 7:45 - kids leave for school
Start a load of clothes
shower, get dressed
9:00 am take Dennis to preschool on Monday and Wednesday
11:30 am - pick up Dennis
Have lunch
12:30pm - take Alex to preschool
Dennis naps, I pay bills, make phone calls, have computer time
3:00 pm - pick up Alex and Adam from school
3:15pm - kids start coming home from school-- homework immediately follows
4:30pm - drop off Rachel for Soccer practice
Start dinner-- chores
6:00pm- drop off Julia and Adam for music practice
baths, free time
Monday nights- family devotional
Tuesday mornings- bible study
Wednesday nights- church
In addition, we usually have appointments thrown into the week here and there just to mix things up a bit.

Sometimes I watch videos of our family with Alex and Dennis during the day. I also set up things like a train track for them to play with. When I am doing my bible study, I let them tear paper or color, or I will do things like get a box that they can roll a ball into as they sit at the table and munch on pretzels. Sometimes, I let them play in the bath while I sort through drawers (in an attempt to declutter) that I bring into the bathroom with me. The junk from the drawers becomes their treasure.

Anonymous said...
Christine,While i have always trusted speech and occupational therapists, you should make an appointment for william to see a pediatric neurologist.While the therapists are great, they should not be the ones to make a diagnosis beyond their own specality.A pediatric neurologist will sit with you, go over all of williams issues, and will be better at coming up with a diagnosis.Nurologists are trained to take all the aspects of what worries you about william--and more--and make an informed and intelligent diagnosis.

In an effort to get answers, I have taken William to more places than I can remember. He has been to the pediatric neurologist more than once, a neuro-psychologist, the Regional Center, the California Diagnostic Center, and has been evaluated by numerous people on his IEP team including an Autism specialist. I actually found the neurologist to be the least helpful. The thing with William is that he does really well with adults-- and is very helpful and respectful. It is when he is around other kids his age when his lack of social skills becomes evident. Unless a professional is around him all the time with some of the time being in a social setting with his peers, it is impossible to see William's issues for what they truly are. What I am beginning to feel is that it is not William who is going to change--- it has to be me..... it has to be us. Sometimes I think I am making too big a deal of his issues. Some days are better than others. All I know, is that I will never give up on him-- and we will keep taking it day by day.

Anonymous said...
Let me tell you a story.....I'm a woman in my late twenties who had an abortion 5 years ago. I do have a son so I know what it is to love and cherish a child. I also know what it is to feel so hopelessly lost and frightened in the grip of such severe depression and isolation that I know another child would have been wrong. I also know I would not have had the strength to give my baby away and would have ended my life if I had had to do this. There are SO SO many different versions to the story of life you CANNOT blanket any opinion. I know in my heart that Jesus has forgiven me for what I did, because he forgives. Life is not black and white. We do terrible things in our lives for so so many reasons and God knows them all. I have read your blog for a very long time and this is the only thing that keeps coming up that makes me so sad I want to stop reading. I have forgiven myself for what I did a long time ago because I feel it was the only think I could have done. Not everyone has a suportive family, or people there for them. Please stop making people feel bad. That video you posted a while ago was just propaganda, THINK for a minute the type of person who would film some of the scenes in it. You are intelegent, think about each bit and question it. Who would 'kill' a baby then get out a video camera and film a babys head in their hands. Propaganda is a dangerous tool!

You are so right--- I too have no doubt that God has forgiven you. Your comment about strength-- I also agree that most of us on our own, lack it, but that is why we should cling to the truth that it is He that gives us strength. Moving on, I cannot apologize if seeing a video of aborted babies makes you feel bad. It should. I know it makes me very sad to the point of crying. That is the point. We all want to close our eyes and not imagine the truth.

I know that for many of us, thinking about something horrible is not enough--- we have to have it stare us in the face in order for it to sink in. Many kids nowadays cannot fully grasp what drinking and driving can result in-- so watching a video of the aftermath of a horrible car accident is what they need to understand what can happen when you drink and drive. I think abortion is the same way. I wish someone would have shown me a video like this back when I was younger.

jennell said...
Posts like this only cause Pro-lifers to High five each other and Pro-choicers to roll their eyes and move on. I don't think any doctor would change the mind of any patient with a story like that unless that person had a severe mental disability and shouldn't have kids anyways. Either way Christine, you need to remember that vanity is a sin too, I think this blog may not be too good for your ego with tons of people telling you everyday how awesome you are.

Jennell, you are so right. Thank you for pointing out my vain ego. I am working on it-- really I am. And many others have recently felt the need to help me out with this problem--- they most certainly let me know how un-awesome I am. I appreciate you taking the time to show me the error of my ways.

Taylor said...
oh my word, there has never been a more adorable little boy :)

Thanks Taylor----- one day Dennis will read this and smile!


Ohiomom2121 said...
Dear Christine,That is one of the hardest parts about having a larger family and younger children. When it is just parents, they can be vigilant and keep toddlers safer, but school age children leave stuff out constantly and it is a huge battle keeping the little ones out of trouble. We had one really sneaky 3 yo, now in middle school, who drew on walls and furniture with a green permanent marker (it never fully came off) and stabbed a steak knife into a couch cushion after items were left out for the briefest of times. His brother kept trying to eat cigarette butts found on soccer fields; made watching the games impossible! I am so glad they made it through that stage alive. So, toothpaste is nuthin! Thanks for triggering some memories that are funny now after 10 years, and good luck with your Sneaky-Petey! Sherry

Sherry, your comment made me feel so much better about our crazy day to day life. Now maybe I will start blogging the whole truth! Yesterday, I drained a poopy bath tube, saved one of my children from brushing their teeth with acne medicine, disciplined my child for going into someone else's garage without permission, and fed the crew top ramen for dinner! How is that for memories?

Milena said...
Maybe Alex wasn't quite ready for school yet?

I question this too. Maybe he isn't, but he sure enjoys it. And, he is receiving speech therapy and occupational therapy which I would be foolish to pull him out of. So for now, Alex will continue with school-- but as to the whether or not he will start kindergarten next year-- only time will tell.

mama bear said...
Yes, please educate. How is the best way to eat a pomegranate? Do you eat the seeds, spit them out?

We eat the dark purple fleshy seeds---- seeds and all! At first, it can be like chewing sunflower seeds, shells and all, but you quickly get used to it. And just think of all that roughage--- okay ewwwe gross-- moving onto the next question.

Kelly said...
You are braver than me. I have thought about camping several times but I have always chickened out. I love my bed and I hate bugs and would be scared someone would get my kids while I was asleep. I know I am ridiculous. Glad you had a great time. I wish I could muster up enough courage....maybe one day. :)

Funny you should say this. I really am not that brave. I tried to back out last minute-- but couldn't find it in my heart to let so many people down. I was sure I would spend the weekend grinning and bearing it, but I actually enjoyed myself. The worst part was the dirt-- I hate dirt! And tent camping is dirty. The packing up to go home and the mountain of laundry afterwards nearly made me cry, but I got through it. Seriously, I was trying to have a pity party-- how ridiculous is that? And I want to go live in some third world country as a missionary.

Now that the trip is past us along with the laundry-- I am already thinking of doing it again. Yea yea, I know I must be crazy because my attitude will be an exact repeat of before--- but there is some part of me that really enjoys watching my kids have fun--- and boy did they have fun!
So my advice---- just do it!