The mean spirited, derogatory comments that is.
On one hand they don't bother me one bit because they are simply not true and I know that the kind of person that would actually have the nerve to post such venom is in need of tons of prayer and since I am about keeping it real--- I don't want to pretend that I don't get such hateful comments-- but on the other hand, the comments are often referring to my kids and adopted kids in general in such a horrible way that by keeping them on my blog, I am in a sense showing tolerance towards something that should not be tolerated. What do you think?
39 inspiring thoughts:
I think you should just get rid of them. Anyone with a blog knows there are people who post really crappy stuff. No need to keep their venom for all to see on your blog. It isn't benefiting them to post it because they feed off the negative attention. It is not benefiting you or the other readers because the ugly stuff they post often becomes topic for discussion and that takes away from your original intent of your blog, which I would compare to a gathering of friends sharing and talking in a living room. If someome was disruptive like that in a real life setting, we would surely not allow them to disrupt a positive space like that. Disagreeing is one thing, posting vile mean stuff shoudl in my opinion be removed.
I admire you for always keeping it real. Even though ugliness and hateful words are part of life, I see no reason to keep them on your blog. Especially when it has to do with your children.
We are to keep ourselves from saying such things about others and I don't feel we should dwell on nasty things that others say/write. We can all have a difference of opinion, but if it isn't asked for, it is often left kept to ourselves.
I'm a firm believer in "if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all". Believe me, I've bitten my tongue MANY times and wished I'd bitten it right off other times when I haven't held it.
That's just my opinion, but I wouldn't want my children to read nasty things about themselves, their siblings, or their parents, just my 2 cents.
I know you'll do whatever you feel is best for you and your family.
Blessings,
Since you are asking, If I were you, I would not allow anonymous comments. Abusive comments are not going to help you in your vocation of mothering. And no matter how crazy the person may be, they still can cause pain. Who needs that??
I always get rid of the rude comments (or, as it were, the links to porn that keep getting left on my blog. UGH!)
You are right to address it, as I would as well, but I would get rid of it if it mentions your kids...
I for one appreciate your honesty and your 'keeping it real' motto. I think there are to many fake airy fairy blogs that gloss over real life. But mean spirited ugly comments are completly uncalled for in any situation. I am glad you are 'bigger' than these people and don't let it bother you, but I wouldnt want your children to read some of the stuff that is written. It could hurt their hearts and I wouldnt want that to happen. Well thats my opinion anyway..
I've lurked since before you brought Dennis home and just love your blog. I think you should delete the hateful comments for the reasons "Journey to our Ukrainian Angel" said (and continue to write posts venting about the pain such comments cause, if you need to.)
I, personally, stopped accepting anonymous comments. I just do not handle them well. That's me. There always one who really needs prayer and it shows by their venom they spew. So sad! And it's OK to get a prescription for diapers. Using more than 20 a day is very spendy. We applied for SSI for Curtis and was told we make too much (insert laugh here). He qualified for SSD. Could that be a possibility for you?
I like that you allow annon comment bc my computer hates the google account stuff. However, I, if I were you, would not keep the trash. I love how you keep it real. :)
Jessica/virginiadawn
One of my friends has had a bit of venom on her blog and she has a policy of not accepting anonymous comments. Seems to work.
Dear Christine,
As someone who frequently posted anonymously because I am really paranoid about being identified, I don't know that stopping anonymous posts would be the right dividing line. But, I agree that really hurtful comments should be deleted before your children see them. Although, being nosy, I like reading some of the horrid comments just because it helps to remember that people really are entirely different in their perspectives. Frankly, some of them say out loud what our family members probably say behind our backs, as they are increasingly perplexed as we have delved into home schooling, adoption, faith walking, small group bible studies, and a whole host of different activities. Sometimes I forget that I am the one who has changed. We've been trying to adopt for 4 years, and after being through a country closing and finally starting a new process and after having identified children in mind, my Dad has the audacity to remind me that we will be 70 when they are in their 20s. I guess he thinks I don't know how old I am, or that after seeing our daughters we are now ready to have second thoughts. Instead of being thrilled that our prayers are being answered, there is the dig against our plans. So, sometimes it is perversely comforting to see that you are experiencing digs as well. And, when you are gracious toward them, that helps me to remember to be kind to those who question our judgment. So, my vote would be to be tolerant of some rudeness, but willing to delete really vicious posts. Anything against the children should be deleted immediately, for their emotional health. Thanks for asking our opinions! Sherry
Oddly, I'd keep them.
I'd keep them in the moderation queue indefinitely.
I would get rid of the vile ones, especially those that say hateful things about your children and your marriage.
Those who politely disagree, or have other points of view in a respectful manner, I'd keep.
You are more than patient with the nasty ones.
PS: I'm anon for the same reasons as others have mentioend, also can't keep up with my google password.
Yes Christine, definitely delete the rude comments. At least part of the reason people do this is for the notoriety and power, so if you publish the comments you are playing into their hands. Delete them and ignore them. They are the ones with the problem - not you. [Don't I sound bossy? I'm not usually, but I feel cross with these losers on your behalf]
I would say a prayer for the person that posted the mean comment and then I would delete, delete, delete!
That's what the delete button is for! I don't understand what makes people think that, just because someone shares their life, they are sitting ducks for evil! Just delete and keep going. This blog is for your family and you don't want your children to see this negative crap.
Christine,
I have been following your site for over a year now. I find inspiration in every post! Your family is remarkable and should continue to be proud of each and every accomplishment. If possible, do not allow anonymous posts. Continue to be the strong woman that you are, keep it real, and don't let anyone get a rise out of you!
Anyone can set up a google account and create a false identity. You'd have to constantly be screening your comments which would take lots of time.
But at the same time, you wouldn't let someone sit in your living room and talk that way.
I just don't understand the thrill they get posting that kind of stuff. Why not do something positive with their time?
There's a difference between disagreeing, and just being mean. Get rid of the mean ones. No need to explain or anything. The ones who post such things KNOW they are being obnoxious, so treat them like your kids - you don't accept inappropriate behavior from them either. Time out for bad posters! ;-D
Get rid of the mean comments and especially if they are about your children. If people are so ignorant to leave nasty comments, you don't need to keep them.
We all don't have to agree on everything but to leave a mean comment is not right.
Hi Christine. I think you should delete the mean comments.Whoever leaves them probably gets a charge out of seeing them posted. Why fuel their meanspiritedness? I for one read your blog for the honest portrayal of the challenges & happiness of family life. The mean comments are not useful in any way.
Best wishes! -Kate
Throw them out Christine!!!
Oh my gosh Christine, I just read some of the mean spirited posts. I had only seen one when I posted my earlier reply. Now I am posting again, my stomach in a knot, saying yes please, without question, take these posts down. I think they are potentially harmful, they are so full of vitriol.
Again, best wishes. -Kate
I'm with Hevel. I sometimes think they add some texture to the other comments on your blog. (Maybe they just give me something to respond to!) They also show that there are, in reality, people who have very negative attitudes about adoption. Some are civil; some are not.
I've actually never gotten a really rude comment on my blog. I guess because it isn't that popular or generally known. So, I am not sure what I would do if it were me, to be fair.
I agree with the first comment. Git rid of them: they don't benefit anyone.
Well after much thought, I think they are going to go. They are just too mean. However, I will continue to allow anonymous somments since I get way more nice ones than not nice ones. Thanks everyone!
THanks Christine for keeping the anonymous posts. I am one of them and love to be able to post. I appreciate your decision about vile posts too. You're the best!
With admiration,
Jen
My vote is to delete the "mean" comments, WHILE replacing them with a comment of your own, something along the lines of, "Today an anonymous commenter needs our prayer." and leave it at that. Your family won't be hurt, but you can stay in your spirit of reaching out in love to those who seem to need some inner peace.
I personally think the person is a nasty inconsiderate meanie. When those comments are directed at your kids..i'd get rid of them. What if your children read them?
I do admire you for having such faith and praying for this poor soul.
I would get rid of them. Either don't allow anonymous comments or delete the mean ones. You could screen all your comments, but with how many you get, that might take awhile! :)
Delete them no question about it. And no mention of them or justification in your blog. Negativity seekers are begging for attention - don't give them any and they will more on to a more interactive victim. Waste no more than the time of deleting their comment and a quick prayer of tolerance and that is all their evil action deserves. If that doesnt work, call me, I have Italian relatives - just kidding!! I love seeing Alex in your home. I am forever grateful to you for stepping in where we could not. Take care and have a wonderful day!
delete!!!!
idiot people - smart people ratio is 10:1 Since I discovered that I question myself a lot less!
I struggle with this too. If it's a question, I usually address it in my Q&A posts anyway, because I answer all questions (within reason) so why not answer questions from my haters too? And if I'm going to answer them, I may as well leave their comments up. However, if it was something outright mean directly TO one of my kids I would probably delete it. Kassidy reads my blog and doesn't need to be seeing that.
I think you should show the truth, that you have no life outside of your kids. Your bio kids feel slided - you have taken on the expensive and emotional task of other people's children in another country while ignoring the needs of American Children.
You will fall to your knees praying to GOD to reassure yourself and others that you are a great mother.
But the reality is this. Those kids haven't hit teenage years yet.
the PTSD, the RAD, the FAS will start to act out.
It will bankrupt you morally and financially. Your marriage will suffer.
How many times do you wonder if you did the right thing? You even admitt, had you done your research on Alex and SP you would not have gone through an adoption.
Ukrainians love sucker Americans that they can push their kids off on for a fee $$$. Sucker Americans, they laugh all the way to the bank. Meanwhile you have no spare time or life, it is spent cleaning up after all the kids.
Do you really think they will not rebel against this one day?
they will not all be grateful that you adopted them. Out of 12 kids which one will end up a Drug addict? In Jail? Pregnant?
Out of 12 kids there will be at least 3-4 that will have issues and brushes with the law the rest of their life.
You are not even 40 years old and have made decisions on your family that will effect everyone. You already look like an old woman. When you die - your stable kids will have to bare the brunt of raising the SN kids that will need continual care. This is not fair to them.
Christine, your neighbors, school hate to see you comming. It's "here is that Kid collector" woman again. Bankrupting the future of her bio kids.
Have you even thought about how you are going to afford college for your kids? Oh that is right, you will pray to God for money? PLEEZZZZ.
Christine adopts kids to make up for the deep loss in her heart. keep searching Christine when you are up to 20 kids you will still be lost and still trying to convince everyone that you are a nice person becuase you decided to spend your husband's hard earn money on these adoptions.
You do know that some adoptive children from Russia and the Ukraine have raped, beaten and killed their siblings? Not to mention attacked their parents?
Well, Christine - here is part of why I want you to keep the icky comments - because it is SO intriguing to read them and try to figure it out...... What sort of person would write them???? What sort of person would be so obsessed with a blog about a big family and hate family life? Read a blog about adoption, and have such bitterness? Read a blog about Ukrainian adoption, while despising Ukraine?
At first I thought - wow! This is some really miserable Ukrainian person with horrible self-esteem. Or, another time I thought - is this a person who wanted to adopt and was turned away? (Can't imagine why!)
But this time I am thinking that this is a poor soul, who adopted a child they couldn't bond with, and they made the child's life a living hell-or it went both ways. All children CAN be difficult, no matter where they are from, no matter what their disabilities, bio or adopted or foster. But, if they are not loved (and is it possible to believe this contributor is a loving person??? I ask you...)of course they will be "difficult".
No matter what the scenario, this is a person who does not feel loved, and somehow seems unable to love. And the vision of a loving family brings nothing but bitterness and pain. A person who longed for a loving family, and never had it.
But a person left, it seems, unable to love.
So you dear soul. I am praying for you now, that God will remove whatever pain you experienced that makes you unable to witness a happy family with equanimity. You poor lonely person. Things could change for you if you would let them.
Annie, I think this person lives in Longview, Texas. I think you are so right too---- the absence of loving family has all but made this person's heart shrivel up and die. It is so sad to witness through their comments.
I'm behind on my reading so I am just now coming across this. I am glad that you deleted some of them and sad to see the ones that are remaining. Very mean spirited.
Christine, You are doing a great job with your kids. It is very obvious from your posts and the pics that they are very happy and are living in a fun, loving family. Big families are great for kids. Also, you look great! I don't know how you do all you do but you do it well. God bless you and your husband and beautiful children.
"Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven."
Mathew 5:10 immediately came to mind when I was doing some catch-up reading on your blog today (I think) and had to come back and come out of "lurk-dom" to post it for you. I'm sorry that you deal with hateful folks. I'm grateful you share your life including the ups and downs so freely. You inspire, encourage, and cause laughter and tears.
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