The Meeting in the Morning

I bet you often wonder how the twelve of our kids get along. Do the boys get along with the girls? Do the younger ones look up to the older ones? Do the older ones happily help out with the younger ones? Do our bio kids resent our adopted kids?

In a perfect world, with the perfect family, I guess the perfect answer would be that my kids get along great, all the time, and never ever fight, yell, or put each other down. I would probably be able to even say that they love each other so much that they always esteem the other higher than themselves. I may even sugarcoat it a step further by saying they learned to treat each other that way from mine and John's examples.

LOL, yeah right.

Life is not perfect, our family is not perfect, I am not perfect, and I am sure John would be okay with me saying that he is not perfect.

Which means,

sometimes my kids

argue,

fight,

and yes,
put each other down.

It can be painful to
watch,
hear,
let alone accept.

Actually, we make it a point to not accept it,

yesterday was no exception.

After Rachel's morning soccer game, we all came home except John who had to work for a few hours. Three of the younger kids wouldn't settle down until one finally got hurt and they were all sent to their room for naps. My older children said some things in response to my comments about how awesome the Brady family was and how fun it would be to go to the Grand Canyon-- all during a Brady Bunch Marathon that we were watching on DVD. "Well yeah Mom, we would have fun like them if there was only six of us too."

On top of it all, I found myself reminding them of things that I shouldn't have had to, and asking a few of the kids to not say anything at all if it wasn't uplifting. Needless to say, I was not pleased with my children's behavior and later that night, I kind of went off in a tirade about how disappointed I was with all of their behaviors. Yes, I basically threw my hands up in the air, and declared that I wanted each of them to live in their rooms until they could start treating each other the way they wanted to be treated.

Even later, I shared with John and vented my feelings about not only the kids but my own lack of being able to be a good enough example to my own children to get them to treat other better. It was nice that he didn't have much to say back---- he just listened and heard me out. I remember him rubbing my back as I drifted off to sleep.

In the morning, he woke me to share about an idea he had. Since I had told John last night that I had no desire to even go to church looking like some "fake and happy" family, he called a family meeting at 8:00 am to do church at home.

It went something like this.

All of us gathered around the living room and John talked about "our" observations with the children. He read some scripture from the bible and announced that we were going to do an activity. He uplifted the children by telling them that he wasn't going to announce the rules of the activity because they already knew them. Basically the rules were those taught in the bible in how to treat one another.

The activity?

Washing each others feet.

If there was any rule breaking--- even by just one kid--- all of the kids would all have to go to their beds for five minutes and then come back and start over. Each time the kids were sent to their beds, the time would be doubled.

It took the kids going to their beds twice before they finally got it.

John and I took turns saying who should wash whose feet until everyone got a turn.

In the beginning a lot of the kids thought this was a dumb task. As we got more into the activity, John and I saw their hearts change. Only a few washed feet at a time so that the other children could hear the three uplifting things that the feet washers had to say about the ones they were washing.

The point?

Jesus was not above washing the feet of others-- and neither are we.

John 13:12-17
When he had finished washing their feet, he put on his clothes and returned to his place. "Do you understand what I have done for you?" he asked them. "You call me 'Teacher' and 'Lord,' and rightly so, for that is what I am. Now that I, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also should wash one another's feet. I have set you an example that you should do as I have done for you. I tell you the truth, no servant is greater than his master, nor is a messenger greater than the one who sent him. Now that you know these things, you will be blessed if you do them.

After we were all done, I apologized for my own behavior the previous night and asked all of my children to forgive me too. We closed in prayer--- and then I announced, "Now we are going to church church!"

This activity that we did as a family is one that I think our kids will remember. It was a hands-on tangible experience for them to see that they are not better than the other nor are they above washing each others feet. We are family, and no matter what, our home is the one place where each and every one of them should feel loved, supported, and encouraged.

I look forward to more activities like these.

P.S. Thank you for taking a moment to vote for me over at Divine Caroline.