Took two of my girls to the eye doctor this morning. One right after the other.
Julia was first, and turns out she needs reading glasses. She picked out a really cute pair--- her very first glasses! Then off to school.
Right after, I went and picked up my other daughter to take her to have her eyes checked. On the drive, I reminded her to answer the doctor's questions as truthfully as she can so that he can accurately determine how good or bad her eyesight is. In kid language, I expressed the importance of this and the importance of taking care of her eyes, and how I wish I did not need glasses because of how inconvenient they were at times. I also asked her why she can't wear my glasses, so that she can put two and two together. See, I do not let my children try on my glasses because they have a (strong) prescription which I refer to as medicine and it would mess up their eyes since they do not need the same medicine. She knows this.
The point of this conversation was to parent her out of conflict and encourage her to do what is right---- at the same time gently reminding her to be honest so that she can make good choices.
I waited in the waiting room with Alex and Dennis while she had the exam and soon after the doctor came out and wanted to speak with me privately. In a nutshell, he told me my daughter was failing her eye exam just to get glasses. To prove this to himself, he finally told her to try on a pair of glasses to see if they would help her to see better. After failing miserably one minute prior, my daughter now miraculously could see 20/20----- with no prescription in the glasses.
In the car, I gave her the chance to make things right. I asked her how the appointment went.
I asked her if there was anything interesting that happened.
No. Are you angry Mommy?
No, I am not, but I might become angry if you are not honest with me. So please answer me with the truth, just like I am truthful with you.
Of course Mommy.
During the exam, did you answer the doctor with the truth about your eyes?
Yes--- elaborating on her lie, of course.
On so many levels this was a huge disappointment. Sure I know kids will be kids, and she probably just wants glasses real bad--- probably to be like me. But. That does not excuse the fact that she was dishonest to me, dishonest to the doctor, she didn't listen to me, she was willing to screw up her eyesight, and she didn't come clean when given the chance.
Yes, kids will be kids...... but in our home, this is a serious offense. Dishonesty and disobedience is not the norm. She knows this and my other kids know this.
Her consequences will depend on her attitude when she gets home from school. My kids know that they could dig themselves deeper or get themselves out of a hole--- all depending on how their attitude is. Yes, she will still have some form of grounding regardless, but even that can be handled with a good attitude-- and will probably make the duration much shorter.