I feel so bad for Jon and Kate. You know the couple from Jon and Kate Plus Eight? I watched a rerun of the show's season premiere and it literally hurt my heart to watch. What are they doing? The distance between the two of them was very apparent on the show and I just wanted to reach out to both of them and whack them over the head with a newspaper and tell them to stop acting so darn childish.
There are eight children involved here-- not just Jon and Kate.
I know that the two of them have had their problems-- one being that Kate is very belittling, often treating Jon like her ninth child (I have done this myself)-- but how often have we seen Jon complimenting his wife... lifting her up with encouragement and praise? Both of them can stand to learn how to work more as a team and encourage each other. I have not watched the show enough to fully understand the dynamics of their marriage-- but then again I do not think that someone who has watched every episode can say they really know the couple either because television tends to distort the truth one way or another-- probably exacerbating their personal insecurities about each other all the more-- but I can say that they are disconnected from each other right now, and that is not good.
So were the rumors of each of them cheating the icing on the cake or were they destined to fail all along? Did being in the public eye go to their head where shopping for a 6000 square foot home became the priority while their marriage took a backseat or did the lack of family intimacy due to constantly being filmed destroy their chance for them to just be themselves and not worry about looking a certain way for the world?
I can't help but feel that pride is a huge obstacle for this couple right now. I'm sure Kate feels humiliated that Jon would even be out with another woman-- afterall she is the mother of his children and they recently renewed their vows in Hawaii. It sounds like Jon resents the fact that he quit his job so that Kate can promote her book. It is easy for him to entertain the rumors about Kate being involved with the bodyguard when he feels wronged by her already.
So why am I writing about this? Because I feel strongly that marriage needs to be upheld as a covenant between a husband and wife and Jon and Kate owe it to themselves and to their children to reconcile and come out stronger and closer than when they first got married.
That is what a marriage is all about and it just appears as if they are taking the easy way out. It is so much easier to point fingers, and make accusations and ultimately call it quits than it is to humble yourself, reach over for your spouse's hand as you admit that you are broken over the whole situation and vow to do whatever it takes to rekindle the relationship. At this point in the marriage both of their actions and behaviors have been hurtful to each other-- and enough is enough. I truly feel that deep down the two of them really love each other but would rather have their marriage fall apart before they admit it. Just admit it you two----- and start with that. Admit that there is something worth salvaging because there is. Your marriage is bigger than any of this and you have eight precious children who love you and need both of you in their lives.
24 inspiring thoughts:
I agree. They have put everything else before their marriage. Its tragic and the kids don't get to decide, but are most affected.
I think they need to get rid of the TV crews in their home and in their life and start being a family rather than a media sensation. Everyone speculating about them wherever they go based on the much edited content of the tv shows won't help them strengthen their relationship either.
I havnt seen the show for awhile but from all the blogs and twittering about it I have got the 'gist' of what was happening. I personally think they need to take a break from the tv show and put their marriage back together. This can only end badly if they dont.
This is the most bizarre phenomenon. It is hard to imagine any chance for normalcy - ever again, practically - with your family all over TV. I guess I find myself wondering if their hearts and minds were in the right place to begin with to make that choice to allow their family to become a "media sensation". That seems like a pretty awful thing to do to your children. Steal their privacy. I feel guilty writing about mine sometimes on a mildly-visited blog...and when you blog you have 100% control over what you share.
I saw exactly one episode of this - the Hawaiian wedding renewal..and all I could think was that it didn't ring true. It seemed all for show to me. "It is a tale. Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, Signifying nothing." Not "fury" but "romance" and you have it. Signifying nothing.
Makes me sick at heart. Our priest says "The best gift you can give your children is a good marriage." I believe it.
Kate gave me an STD from her body guard. Our marriage will fail because of Kate's cheating.
Well said.
I have never seen the show, but with the recent rumors going around, it's apparent that something isn't right. They need to focus on their marriage, but above all, they need the Lord.
I hate to say it but I think they created this mess themselves. Adding in the media and that whole circus to an already dificult situation of raising multiples wasn't a bright idea. As for sticking it out for the kids....that's not a wise decision either. I've seen families that are only together for the kids and the kids can sense the tension. Sometimes it is better to take the time away and rethink things. I for one wouldn't be able to live with Kate. She is so belittling and angry all of the time. I don't blame Jon for wanting time away from the whole media circus and from her.
Christine, ditto to everything you said. So sad really. I never liked the show because I felt she did talk badly to her husband, they need to get over their pride, forgive and remember why they fell in love in the first place. Kate needs to go back home and let her husband provide for the family. I understand they are under contract, so we need to pray for them as they testify to know God and this isn't a good witness, we all are sinful but they need to forgive like their heavenly father forgives them.
I know this is off the subject but I say this and SO thought of you...
"What does it mean to be adopted?", asked a child.
"It means" , said the girl, "that you grew in your mommy's heart instead of her tummy! "
I feel bad that everything has been so "Public" for them. Kate was "Controling" and the "Matriarch" of the family before the show came along so she is who is. She wants Jon to change and her not make any changes as she feels she is "Right" They just need to get back to basic's cut the TV crew and make each other and the kids a bigger priorty in their lives.
Christine, I need your email address to invite you to my blog. Your Six Truths post gave me the motivation to finally get the ball rolling. Thanks!
I agree with you...
What's with the comment above regarding Jon and Kate? is that from their blog???
I completely AGREE.
In fact, I have been praying for God to restore what has been lost between them.
Yeah, I think they need to take some time off (if not quit altogether) from filming if they want to save their marriage...perhaps their relationship was strained before the show (sextuplets can be stressful), but having their private life opened up to millions has surely only made things worse. I do agree that Kate's belittling Jon for every little thing and Jon's reluctance to engage with his family are probably not helping matters.
A caveat, though: reality TV producers like to emphasize drama, and will either edit the footage to make already existing conflict seem even more dramatic, or they will carefully edit footage in order to make it seem like there is conflict when in reality there is none. My sister was on a reality TV show on PBS (Design Squad, anyone?) and even though it was a reality show for kids, they especially loved the tense moments when team members got angry at each other, and tended to include those more, even if the conflicting team members were best friends in real life. Moral of the story? I'm taking both Jon and Kate's online persona's with a grain of salt.
I feel really bad for them - they need privacy to make their marriage work, and the media is really not giving it to them, nor are they making it a priority for themselves.
Yep, broke my heart. I, like you, wanted to whack them over their heads...but then I wanted to hug them, and pray with them, and for them. I think they are floundering about, and am hopeful that SOMEHOW they will seek godly counseling and do their best to reconcile their differences. I really do feel for both of them. I have actually been praying for them regularly, for several weeks, since things started coming out about difficulties. Having an Asian daughter of my own, I absolutely love their kiddos (as much as I can without actually KNOWING them!) and this is so sad.
Hope that many will join me in praying for this young couple who have lost their way.
Nancy in CT
Amen.
Daena
Very sad indeed. I just wish pride would push people to fix a marriage instead of break it apart!
And those poor kids, how are they going to grow up ... being able to see the breakdown of their parents marriage episode, by episode? It's crazy....
I agree, kick out the TV. Fix what is broken!
As long as there are people who will watch the show and buy the magazines about their problems, there will be "reality" Shows like this. None of us knows the truth, becuase reality tv is about ratings, not truth. Drama brings ratings. In a way, it's just a new form of gossip.
I feel so sad about this situation. My husband and I attended one of their speaking engagements last year and they spoke a lot about their strong faith in God and marriage and their story was amazing to hear first hand - they were very inspiring. That said, I think a LOT has changed for them since becoming "famous" and I am so sad that it seems God and their marriage and family is not coming first any more. I can't believe that they agreed to do this 5th season - it seems very obvious that they need a break to work on more important things...
I couldn't have said it better.
Good job!
For the sake of their children and their family, I hope this will be the last season of the show. I think they may have started filming with good intentions - wanting to provide their children with opportunities they could not provide financially. However, the last season or so was a lot of advertising (I don't know who would want to advertise by providing them with free products because Kate no longer seems grateful for these free gifts and even editing can't make her sound appreciative) and fancy vacations (since "real" life was too boring).
This is a good example about how fame and fortune cannot buy happiness. Their marriage is falling apart. Jon and Kate are human - they make mistakes - but they both need to take responsibility for their actions or they will never be able to grow from it. At this point the media attention is only hurting their family and I think it would be best to quietly back off from the spotlight for the sake of the kids and their safety and well being.
I can't judge Jon and Kate since I do not know them and you can't always trust what you see on tv. However, their family is clearly hurting and I hope that they will make some wise decisions to help their family heal and blossom.
I guess that I am sorta surprised that you even watch this show! I have never watched a full episode - after seeing how un-realistic their relationship is, I switched to something more entertaining - cartoons!
They have exploited their family - for their 15 minutes of fame... shame on both of them.
I was so disheartened by that episode. It was so disappointing. I have not by any means seen all of the episodes, but for every episode i have seen, Kate has never failed to call John a demeaning name, tell him he doens't to something right, etc. Her behavior towards him, coupled with the fact he is a stay at home Dad who would LIKE to still be able to work (by his own admission) really seems to have taken away his ability to act in the GOd given role of family leader (they claim to be Christians, so I feel it's ok to say this). John has been stripped of the ability to feel like HE is providing for his family. Based on the comments Kate made, it sounds like to her, providing more than essentials to her children is what's most important, that the opportunities doing the show for provide the children, is more important than working on her marriage. He said at the end of last season he wasn't sure they would be back, he didn't want to be.
THe other thing that struck me is she more or less blamed only him. She said she is by no means perfect but, she tried her best, then emphasized that JOHN Made some stupid decisions, JOHN made big mistakes, and well, John, everything is John's fault. That was so disheartening and sad. It seems he has not forgiven him. It seems they have not taken divorce out of the equation. I don't know much about marriage, my parents is/has not been/ was never healthy and divorce was always a threat. When I get married, I want it to be VERY clear, divorce is NOT an option, not at all, not ever. Lets not even threaten.
I am prayign for them. I really hope Kate is willing to give up the priveledges if it means saving her marriage/family.
Post a Comment