Being a Mom is a privilege. And so is having your daughter open up to you. And fostering that relationship to the point where you no longer have to pry open the answers all the time is such an awesome feeling-- that makes raising five girls something to look forward to.
Don't let me mislead you, not all of my girls are to the point where they just open up and share something that helps put part of the puzzle together, but as they get older, I am noticing that our relationships are growing as they seek my wisdom and share from their hearts. Rachel especially looks to see how I dress, how often I wear make-up, how John treats me, and how I take care of the household. She asks why I do certain things and she actually cares what my answers are. I fear sticking my foot in my mouth and shattering that open window where she confides in me--- so I continually ask God to give me the right words. So far, so good--- I haven't blown it too bad yet.
Just the other day when Rachel and I were folding clothes fresh from the dryer, making small talk, she opened up and and told me this---
"Mom, did you know that in Ukraine I used to wear anything? I mean that I didn't care what I wore. We just didn't have alot to choose from and we were just lucky to have clothes to wear. I am sorry for being so picky with my clothes now. I just have so much to choose from that it is hard to make up my mind. Thank you for all of the clothes we have. "
We carried the conversation on into my room where we both laid down on my bed. I had the privilege of listening to my daughter tell me about things she remembered. Her memories are a mixture of both good and bad and we have sorted through most of them---handing many over to God and keeping many tucked away to remember at just the right moments so that she could just smile to herself and enjoy the memory. Like the time I was cooking and started to add different herbs to the beef dish that was simmering on the stove. Rachel told me she remembered the name of that herb in Russian and smiled when she smelled the bottle. She told me that her Ukraine mother used to cook with that same herb all the time. For her to be able to hold onto that memory of her Ukraine mother and build on it with me cooking with the same herb is something that will encourage her to grow up and cook with that same herb too so that she can teach her own daughter.
As Rachel shares these little stories with me, and there are many, I can't help but think how awesome God is to orchestrate all of these little coincidences that only make our mother-daughter relationship stronger.
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15 inspiring thoughts:
Made me cry. I love your Rachel, from what you've told us about her. I have 'nieces' who are Russian foster daughters of my Indian brother-in-law's Russian wife (she had them when they married), so I have heard those teenage girls' stories about their birthmom and listened to them express how blessed they are now (although life is still hard sometimes!!).
Bless you for being there for her.
Christine,
Thank you for this post, it is beautiful, you put into words what we should be doing everyday with our children . . . seeking God to help us parent. I just started a 6 week study on prayer and one of the homework assignments is to write down the things we are reluctant to pray for. You just reminded me of a big one . . . I need to pray for the "open window" with Rayne, my 15 year old. I will start to pray today that those "open window" moments continue to come and that He gives me the wisdom to share with my daughter. Thank you so much!!!
What a sweet post. I am glad that Rachel can share her memories so openly with you.
It must make you feel so good that your daughter shares this thoughts with you.
What a beautiful post! It truly is a privilege to be a Mom and to be allowed into our kids worlds. I think in your case, after adopting older children, the fact that you have gained their trust enough to open up makes it even more special!
I am so touched by this post. Thank you so much for sharing!
Our God IS Awsome. It's in the little things sometimes that show us He cares so much. Your story is an encouragment. Thanks so much for allowing others to glipmse into your lives.
Aw Christine. That was an awesome post. Made me cry too.
I just LOVE it when that happens.
I can see Rachel sining in her pictures. She is just blossoming and it is such a neat thing to see the work of God going on in her little life.
I love the herb story. It is something she can own, and carry on in her family when she is older.
You are doing a GREAT job. It isn't easy taking that time with 10 other kids running around. :) But just that right moment.. and a wonderful bonding memory is made.
I'm so proud of you both. :)
how sweet. Your a great mom to be able to know and follow gods path to help your children so much.
What is also remarkable, is that Rachel is talking about a "normal" family for her future...including handing down traditions, etc. It is a testament to her feeling "safe" in your home, in that she is able to imagine a wonderful future for herself.
What a beautiful post Christine!
I saw this post right about the time you posted it, but for some reason I couldn't comment.
As an adoptee myself, I can't emphasise how important it is to be able to share and openly cherish the nice memories one brings from their first family/life before adoption. Those very early glimpses of memories have shaped me a great deal and I wish I had had an adoptive mother like you.
Christine,
This post was so touching and precious. Thank you for sharing!
Hugs,
Amy
you teach me a lot about the way i want to raise my kids. thanks.
Somehow your Rachel has enchanted me from the moment I "met" her in your blog. What a lovely girl. You two are blessed....just another example to me of how God writes straight with crooked lines. And how valuable it has been for me (and many others I am sure) to see this girl bloom from a disruption. I was glad you finally shared the cause of her pain.
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