I guess I shouldn't complain. I'm not in a blogging funk at all---- actually it is just the opposite. I have so much to share--- so many thoughts--- so many priceless moments that I feel slipping away as I put off writing about them--- so I'm sitting down to write as much as I can before my kids get home from school. I just fed Dennis a pureed cup of borscht and Jonny a peanut and raspberry jam sandwich. Mmmmmm, raaaaspbeeeerry. I climbed up the stairs, Dennis in my arms, and kissed him about a million times. His chubbiness, the sweet smelling folds in his neck, the way he wraps his arms around my shoulders--- is absolute heaven. If this is heaven to me now, I can only imagine what actual heaven will be like someday. Wow-- will that be a sight!
I took my two boys over to Dollar Tree to buy some Red Hot Cinnamon Candies. I buy around 10 bags at a time so that I don't have to keep coming back each time I want to make a batch of Cinnamon Popcorn. It is so delicious, that 10 bags run out in no time. I also happened to find some wall decals that will match the flannel tie comforters I am making for all the girls for Christmas. Practical yet thoughtful gifts is my thinking right now because money is tight with two house payments--- but that can be be a whole other post.
As I was standing at the checkout, I saw dog costumes on the rack. I thought, "My girls would get a kick out these," and picked out two, one for each of our dogs. Then I started to think about how as a mom, I am always on the lookout for something that my kids might enjoy. Not always does it have to be tangible, sometimes it is simply taking them to a school where I know they will love climbing the trees, but this time it happened to be. It brings me pleasure, just like I am sure it still brings my own mother pleasure. Today she called to let me know that she is taking two days of off work to come spend the night at our house next week when Dennis has his surgery. She knows that John and I can manage between the two of us, yet she was looking for a way that she can come and show all of us how much she loves us. I am one very blessed daughter. She not only will help me with the kids, errands, and cooking, but she will also help me with the blankets if we get the time.
As I was putting Dennis into his carseat and buckled the belt up under his neck, he let out a hold your breath, give it all you got cry--- I had accidentally pinched his cheek in the buckle. If ever there was a moment when I felt like a horrible mom, it was then. I as usual, put my face up to his and rubbed his cheek with mine and whispered, "I love you," as I kissed his owie, and you know what--- it worked. And I sat there and stared at my son in awe----- when did he go and learn to accept my comforting touch? It's like one day I was still not enough to comfort my little boy, and the next I am totally enough. Silly me, cried in the car.
"Mom, why are crying? I will share my Sugar Babies with you," Jonny comforted me. "Awww, it's not that Jonny. You can share them with your brothers and sisters later."
I have to admit that I find myself being judgemental of the world. I am so guilty of this---- yet I do not know how to stop the thoughts. In our neighborhood, a few people are having the front of their house rocked----- I thought their house looked very nice before they went and did that. In my mind I look at the rocked entrances and equate it to thousands of dollars--- what a waste. That money could have fed 100 starving people in Africa for a week, helped get a homeless family into an apartment, or could have gone towards the adoption of a child. I look at our modest Halloween decorations and then look at those in our neighborhood who have gone all out--- my kids think those people are rich--- UGH! No silly kids, we are the rich ones----- because I have you and you and you and you.
Speaking of material things, I was sitting at the kitchen table with my kids this morning. Rachel was sharing her birthday list with me for the 50th time. "I just really want a cell phone Mom. My friends have cellphones."
"Rachel I don't even have a cell phone."
"Yeah, but Dad does."
"Dad has a cell phone because his work gave it to him."
"I will find a way to get one then, and I will pay for it myself," Rachel told me matter-of-factly.
Some of the other kids played into the discussion and chimed in how they really wanted one too.
"If you guys want what your friends have so bad and think I am not being fair, then why don't you go and live with them and have them buy you a cell phone and then I will get rid of my big van and buy the little sports car I have been dreaming of for so long but haven't been able to get because I have to drive all of you around. That way we can all be happy, right?" Of course this was totally said in a joking manner all the while with a smile on my face.
"Your joking Mom. We know how much you love your van and would miss all of us."
"You are so right Anna. You guys are way more important to me than a cell phone, or a sports car, or fancy Halloween decorations."
Rachel dropped the cell phone conversation--- I think I have talked her into adding shoes and clothes to her birthday list--- oh and of course Jelly Bellys!
Maybe some of you remember this boy that I was trying to help find a new family for? I am sure you guys do because I still get emails asking about how things are going for all of them. Well, today is the big day for him. Today he is going to be placed with his new family. Just like all of the other families that I help, they are going through a very painful and emotional time. They have allowed me to share their blog because they found it very beneficial to read others who had also allowed me to share their blog. If you stop by their blog, please leave some encouraging comments for this family. I have gotten to know them quite well over the last month and a half and their family is amazing. I have no doubt that they gave it their all and I am lifting them all up in prayer as this big day unfolds. Please join me today in prayer for both the placing family and the new family and most of all for Daniel who will have the biggest adjustment of all.
Any day I am going to get a call saying that our insurance has approved Anna's prescription for Growth Hormone Treatment. We are in the home stretch of having her actually start them--- probably in the next two weeks. I read on a forum recently that someone's daughter grew 2 inches in five months! Wouldn't that be terrific for my little Anna?
Last but not least, I wanted to share a wonderful story about a family who took me up on my challenge. Her post made me smile and cry----- it was that sweet! Thanks for taking the time to do a whole post on the challenge!