Awww, more girl stuff. Why is it that a good part of my life is spent parenting my girls on some of the craziest things? Honestly, my boys could care less about twin day, packing their lunch because their friends are packing, or wanting to go back to their old school because rumor has it that this year it has miraculously changed into a "rule-less" school. Sigh--- today was not one of our better days.
All week Sveta and Annalyn were planning on dressing up as twins today. That was their plan, yet they did not have an outfit picked out. Then yesterday, Annalyn found out that Sveta was going to dress-up as Rachel's twin. Sure this was not very fair, but I don't think that it would have been right for me to force Sveta to be Annalyn's twin, so I let the situation unfold----- with a few wise words.
"Rachel, it would be nice if you could encourage Sveta to honor her commitment to Annalyn and encourage her to dress up with her."
"Sveta, you already made a promise to your other sister. You should keep that promise."
"Annalyn, if they want to leave you out, take the high road and find someone else to dress-up, or just have my shirt (that shrank in the wash) and wear it. Just remember to try and act your age, like we have discussed before."
All of this advice went unheeded.
Last night, as I was curling Annalyn's hair, out of the blue, just because........ Rachel and Sveta come in to my bathroom all dressed up. Immediately, Annalyn started in,
"You're going to wear thaaaat?"
"Just watch, everyone is going to laugh at you."
"How ridiculous, you look."
Rachel shot back, "You're just jealous," and walked out.
"Annalyn, I know it is hard to watch them, but really, your words shouldn't be so mean. Remember, it is not okay to be mean just because someone treated you meanly."
I talked with my girls a little more before bed about treating each other better, and how they could work it out, but the night ended on a sour note. Annalyn, after being told to, was practicing her clarinet and squeaking it on purpose in Rachel's face.
Come morning---- More cat-fighting, and more words of advice and finally some consequences for actions were felt.
"Sveta, you broke a promise. Do you think that is okay? Did you ever apologize to Annalyn, did you ever invite her to dress up with you guys? I think it would be good for you to tell her your sorry."
"Rachel, what you did was not very nice. To Annalyn, it looks like you stole Sveta away from her just so you could get what you want. How would you like it if that was done to you? No, I will not be putting your hair in pony-tails, that is something that a big girl like you could do by yourself."
Finally, Rachel and Sveta invited Annalyn to be a part of their group. Sadly, because of Annalyn's words all morning, she didn't get to participate in Twin day. "Annalyn, I am sorry, but no you can't dress up with them. Remember how dumb you said they looked? Remember how you said you would not be caught dead dressed like them? Remember how you continued to put them down, even when I asked you to stop? Remember how you denied being jealous of them? I would have let you dress up with them, if you could have just taken the high road. But, I still love you, and you're still their sister, and you can still have a good day, and you can learn from this experience and be more honest with yourself and me, and try not to open your mouth when only "mean-spirited" things are on your mind."
Deep breath. God is good. Regardless of whether or not I handled the situation right, he is graceful, my daughters do love each other and are quick to forgive, and each girl left with the promise of a good day simply because it is Friday----- which means the bickering was over.
Julia is feeling better today too. Last night, I spent a good half hour with Julia who was feeling homesick for her old school. Sigh--- adjusting to a new school is going to take time.