As a college student who dreams of one day having a family like yours, I would like to know how you found a home big enough for your family. Also, I hope you pursue your desire to work.
Our new home has been such a blessing. We were looking to buy a home closer to my husband's new job back in January 2008. Nothing seemed to be panning out, yet the stress of my husband traveling 2 hours on the road a day was beginning to take its toll. After making an offer on a house that was still 24 minutes from John's work we realized that we could not afford it in this declining market and pulled out of the deal. Come March we were told by our real estate agent that the 3700 square foot, 6 bedroom, three bath home that we looked at a month ago was up for sale again because the previous buyers couldn't get funding. We were able to come in and offer a very good (low) price, and they accepted.... probably because we were one of the few couples able to get almost instant loan approval. The house doesn't have big tall trees around it to hang a tire swing from and there isn't much land to sprawl out, but after planting a few trees, hanging tons of pictures on the walls and welcoming our 11th child into our family this house is now our home and I am very thankful to have it. Now my husband is only 13 or so minutes from work and is back to being able to help out more with appointments and is now home at a reasonable hour for dinner every night.
Anonymous said...
You still shower with your 5 year old? OR should I say let your 5 year old son shower with you? Hmmmmm. That seems a bit much for me.
Ugh, what is on your mind.... never mind, I shudder to think. If you read the post with half a heart, you would realize that I don't shower with my son that often and that it was a special treat to allow him in there to play in the big base of the shower as I stood on the drain and let it fill up with water. Bonding is a crucial, ongoing step in the parenting process for not only adopted children but for biological children as well. I am not embarrassed for my son to ask, "What are those Mommy?" If my son at this very young age asks to take a shower with me because he innocently has nothing more on his mind than the fun time that Mommy will let him have playing in the base of the shower with cups and toys, I think that it is over the top for you to suggest that this is anything more. Please get your mind out of the gutter... this is a G rated (PG max) site.
Courtney Kay said...
I love your family! thanks for sharing your story! it is such an encouragement to me, because i want to have a large family through adoption someday! and also adopt children with various needs!
I am sure that you will make a great Mom!
Anonymous said...
What ever happen to that little boy that was looking for a home. God bless him.. Did he find a home?
This boy's family has decided to try and make things work afterall. They are changing some things in their life that they are hoping will enable them to make things work. I am encouraged to see the commitment level this family has to at least try and make it work one last time, and I give them lots of credit for taking this step with their son. If after giving it a few more months, they are not able to see an improvement in the family as a whole then they will most likely go ahead and place the child with a new family. (And amazing enough, there is a family out there that is willing to wait and adopt this child if the family chooses them)
Connie said...
Hey sis, I can kind of understand where Anon's comment about God comes from. Not "Anti-Christian" but, for me at any rate, "Pro-child". I think it is horrible that so many children do NOT easily, or EVER, find homes because adoption agencies can discriminate based on religion.
I have never seen or heard of a child not be placed because of an adoption agency having a religious preference... at least not in America. There are so many agencies that if one only works with Christian families, or Jewish families, or Catholic families than the family wanting to adopt should just move onto the next agency. There are thousands of agencies out there that I am certain that no family will be discriminated against if they choose to adopt as long as they are homestudy approved. What is nice about an agency working with only a particular religious belief is that the parents that want to place a child with only families of a certain religion can have some peace of mind that the family was screened for that. Of course they could lie, but then again so can anyone, but I know that for some who want the peace of mind that they are placing their child for adoption with someone who has a particular religious belief, a religiously affiliated agency can offer that to them.
Children are not placed because there are simply not enough people out there who want older children, children with special needs, or African-American children. Now I am only speaking about America, but I suppose it is probably the same for other countries.
Expat Mom said...
Just out of curiosity, what`s the forecast on speech? I imagine it will be a little more difficult for him than a child without the cleft palate, no?
Doctors estimate Dennis to be at about a nine month level as far as speech is concerned. He is babbling and experimenting with how loud he can be. I can tell his mouth muscles are getting stronger by his ability to chew things that he wasn't able to eat before and how he is able to purse his lips closer together. He will definitely need lots of speech therapy which will begin after his cleft palate is repaired. The biggest factor in determining how well Dennis' speech will eventually be is if the plastic surgeon can reconstruct his lips so that he can close his mouth completely and rub his lips together to form the sounds of the letters M, B, and P.
Anne said...
1: I love your family.
2: for your digest; what is your least favorite/absolute favorite food. Have any of your kids had "lovies"(you know that stuffed animal/blanket they won't let go of) do you read to your kids? If so what is your favorite story to reAd to your children(non bible).
Thank you. I love pasta, especially if it is covered in a cream sauce. I keep trying fish, but sadly, I just flat out don't like it. None of my kids were really attached to anything that I can remember unless being attached to my booby to nurse what seems like 24/7 until they were one counts. I still read with Rachel, Sveta, Anna, Andrew, and Jonny (I'm starting to with Dennis). The rest of the kids do it by themselves because they no longer need my help. Sometimes, John or I end up reading to whoever will listen and that just depends on the story. At Christmas time we have started reading the story of Jesus' birth. Admittedly, I should read my kids more bedtime stories than I do. John is much better than me at that.
FaerieMama said...
You're going to think I'm nuts, but this post made me cry! I read your blog everyday, and love it - but for some reason this post, with all the love expressed in it, just made me weep - like the older boys allowing Johnny to buy prizes with their tickets and holding Dennis in the rides so he wouldn't fall out, and that picture of Julia holding Dennis with the bottle...too sweet for words.
Well, your comment made me cry so now we're even.
Jill said...
LOVE the Hulk costume and what a wonderful birthday!Love the girls' hair too...question...what are snails?
Sveta on the right has her hair in what we call snails.
Sarah K said...
I love to come by and check out your blog on the weekends. You have such a beautiful family it is so inspiring to me. I also find it so interesting to read about your faith. I had never considered myself religious until a month or so ago when I started reading blogs like this one, and researching adoption - now I really feel like something has been woken in my heart and I have been finding out a lot about Christianity and investigating local churches. Thank you for opening my eyes to God.
Sarah, what a blessing it was to read your comment. I am humbled by your words. Thank you for sharing this with me. May your journey to seeking out God, adoption, and the beginning of a new life where you no longer need to depend on only yourself to get you through life lead you to what you are looking for. I know that when I was in your shoes 11 years ago, I didn't have adoption on my heart at that time. The fact that I now know that God adopted all of us as His children helps me to see His perfect plan today. Please, please, please let me know how you are doing in the coming days. I will keep you in my prayers. Here is a big hug. I am also inviting everyone who reads to keep Sarah in your prayers too.
Noah and Josh's Mom said...
Sounds like a great day! What kind of car/truck/suv/van do you drive? :)
A Ford 15 passenger van.
MBKimmy said...
wow 178 items - did you have to have 2 carts? That ticket was so long! haha Love the picture of the boys with the cheese!
How did you know? Yes, we had two carts and yes both were full! I hope I don't have to do mega shopping like that for another couple weeks.
23 comments:
You know what I find so funny and repulsive at the same time. How much CRAP you get from people. If they don't like the way you do things, why not just stop reading? I don't know how you handle it. I am so sick of fake people. People who act like their lives are perfect, they don't make mistakes, and they themselves are perfect. I am so tired of feeling like I have to live up to WONDER MOM on my blog or down the street. Why is it so hard for people to admit they're not perfect, or that they make mistakes too. I am sure I do a lot of thing that would make people question me too. Mainly cuz this world is getting ridiculous. I scold my child in Walmart and some lady threatens me and calls me emotionally abusive. In my oppinion, your kids are sent to you for a reason, and yes, because there are assholes out there that do abuse children, I have to watch over my shoulder anytime I disipline my children, in fear of condemnation. Sorry, just had a bold moment for a minute. Keep doing what you're doing. You're awesome. Don't forget that. Sorry for the novel. Love your face.
Hi, Christine. I love your blog. I read it everyday. Since starting to read blogs like yours My husband and I have decided to become foster parents but keep coming to a halt with agencies after we have filled in numourus(spelling?) forms they then tell us as we have 7 bio kids they won't place children with us as they have policies only allowing 6 children in a home. This has happened with 3 agencies so far, but we will continue with our quest to become foster parents even if we have to fill out forms with every agency in Australia. Any way just wanted to let you know I think you are a great mum and obviously so do your husband and children.
Why cant the nasty Anonymous posters just bug off! I mean if you really had anything worthwhile to say then say to the four windows you must live in as I was always taught that those in glass houses shouldnt throw stones!
Thought you'd like this:
Raising children is like making biscuits: it is as easy to raise a big batch as one, while you have your hands in the dough
Re your comment about there not being enough people to adopt, I have been on our state list for four years and NOTHING! We've had our homestudy sent countless time. Augh. They either want a family with no or one kid or a family closer for visits. I've said I'll drive or fly for preplacement visits.
Love the digest! But, *snif*snif* my question didn't make the cut! I was wondering about Dennis's eye and once it was removed if he could then wear the patch?
Oh, and I'm glad someone else asked about snails. I had no clue what they were either.
Also, it is great to hear that the boy's family has made some changes and is trying to make it work. How wonderful for them! How wonderful for the child!
Peta,
We are in process to take a child from foster care and adopt them, but, like you, we are limited by family size. We have 5 kids in the house, and we are only allowed one from the foster care system here in TX to make a total of 6. We could go for more but it would have to be a private agency or some of hte Eastern European countries that would allow it. However, we don't have that kind of money right now, and we feel that God has called us to the foster-to-adopt route right now. I wish you blessings!
Sue
How are the bedrooms divided amongst all the kids?
I love when you answer peoples questions.... If you don't mind me asking what does your husband do for a living to support such a large family? Will you adopt again? Its funny because your children have such gorgeous corn blonde hair that you would think they were from Russia and your adopted kids have darker hair.. haha I love Andrew's color hair..I read the comment that annon left about you showering with your 5 yr old. Its ok but once he hits school age you might wanna stop because he will be in school going "oh I saw my mom naked" innocently..... lol
I would live if you blogged about "through the years". For example baby pics of all your children. Like when they were 3 or 4.. I just think that would be a great individual topic to blog about.
I shower with my 1 year old nephew and my Sister is fine with that. It probably won't happen past age two or so because if he asks questions it's his Mom's job to answer the way she sees fit. But, for now, it's a precious time to hold him and let him stick his little hands in the shower and turn them over and over, or watch him stick his little head in, pull it out, and blink the water out of his eyes, then laugh.
My Mom showered with all of us for the longest time. We had to tell her it was embarrassing to us girls that she still showered with my brother. That stopped when he was about six. And, eventually, us girls just wanted to shower by our selves. No big deal. Kids grow out of it on their own. We all enjoyed that time. We enjoyed having all 3 kids and my Mom together. It was so innocent.
I think it CAN be a beautiful bonding time. I hope one day I can have a Giant Jacuzzi tub to take baths with my kids!
Hi Christina, I read your blog every day from here from Madrid, Spain, you're a follower and my mom favorite, besides having a beautiful family, I like your way of life, I am delighted to know.
Carmen, the mother Spain who adopts her daughter in Ukraine. (On December 3, 2008 is maybe the day of our trip to Ukraine if God helps us that all goes well) congratulations on your precious family
I really like your digest idea!
You and your husband ARE (very) inspiring - AND I let my son shower with me sometimes too (he's 6) - he's my son for pete's sake!
Peta, very good point. Soundslike our system where our fost/adopt system puts way too many rules on us adoptive parents. We decided to adopt internationally because our state has a two to a bedroom rule even if the kids are your bios and the ones you are wanting to adopt will only be two to a room. Adopting through a disruption where the family is specifically picking you out enables the rules to be bent (I believe).
Kathy, thanks for making this point. How inept our system that supposedly cares for our children is. I am so sorry that you have been waiting for so long. States are not utilizing all of its avalable resources and that's a shame. In the long run, it's the children that suffer.
Jessy,
I am not sure about the eyepatch. Being flush to the face and eye may cause even more irritation.
Just wanted to pop in and recommend reading a series by Chuck Black called the Kingdom series (I believe there are 6 books) They are books relating to bible w/great discussion questions in the back (most answers provided). Anyway even though my older two are definately old enough to read they still LOVE me reading them to them as a group! Just an FYI
Congrats on your home. Your family is a true inspiration to all of us. Thanks for sharing the ups and downs of motherhood.
Hi Christine
Love the digest! Couldn't help commenting to anon on the showering. I also shower (occasionally as a treat) with my 6 year old son (& his sister & bros). He goes to school, but it's so normal for our family (been doing it since they were babies), I don't think he would make an issue of it at all & even if he says to his teacher about it, it's totally innocent & dare I say even normal for most families! How else is a boy going to learn about the shape of a normal woman's body - if not from his mum, where?
I'll go to your site Peta - as we would like to foster here in Australia also & am interested in the process.
Thanks Christine for an interesting read - lovely home!
I understand 100% what you mean, and agree about 90% of the way. But I also 100% stand by what I said before about being against that 'only'. (ducks from thrown shoe.. :-p !) I really do understand the desire to place children with Christian families. It is an ideal, a mostly attainable ideal, and a very good one. I just hate that "only". Can an agency post "White folks only"? Aren't you glad Dennis was not available for "small families only"? (ducks as the other shoe comes flying through...)
You say yourself "Children are not placed because there are simply not enough people out there who want older children, children with special needs, or African-American children." Maybe there would be more parents willing, if more doors were open to let them in. Every discriminatory 'ONLY' we throw out, means another door is closed. Adoption is a MAJOR undertaking... all of you adopters out there are incredibly BRAVE... and why should a family face heartbreak after heartbreak of finding a child, to be told, oh, sorry, not for you, nope, not that one either - you are not the proper race, you are not the proper religion, you are not the proper family size? There are probably a lot of folks who walk away from many listings out of fear of being denied and hurt by an 'only'. And as they walk away to look elsewhere, because there are so many other agencies, a child is left waiting.
oh well.. .you know... it is BEST to have more than one opinion about such important matters. One person trying one way to solve something... usually doesn't get very far. Many people working together with similar goals, even if they have different perspectives and experience, well, isn't that how mountains get moved? :-)
Connie, the thing that I say to those who complain about those who only adopt to christian families (for example)...rather than complain about those agencies, the question really should by why aren't more other groups doing their part to also help children? Why put the blame on those who are actually doing something?
Hi anonymous - gotcha - and I appreciate what you say... what I meant when I said that I agreed with Christine, and yet didn't agree, is that I AM happy that there are agencies that want to place children in good Christian homes, yet at the very same time, I am capable of hating(!) the discrimination, because of the thought that it 'closes a door' for children. As I had said in a previous post - my opinion is NOT anti-Christian, it is pro-child. Maybe your opinion, is that my opinion is faulty, that's ok with me... I've another opinion that says God gave us these multiple and often conflicting perspectives for a darn good reason.. even if we find it confusing! :-)
This exchange was not about other groups, it started over questions of Christianity, and God, and the adoption of a little girl (who I hope is doing well!), so that's the only reason I focused on the subject.
True, other groups (individuals, nations, etc) can and should do more, I agree with you completely!
Post a Comment