As hard of a decision as that was on my end (John had no problem with it) I know in my heart that it was the best thing to do. All the way up to the point that I was walking Jonny to the kindergarten playground he was being so brave, but I could see he was breaking down inside. My heart was breaking for him too, but I still attempted to make this work out because Jonny had made it clear that he wanted to stay in school. As I tried to make a quick exit after kissing and hugging him, it became obvious that even two teachers weren't going to keep him from running.
He's just not ready folks. And he's not ready to make the choice on his own--- it is me who is doing it, so he won't have to feel like a quitter. He's just not socially ready or prepared to deal with the day to day routines of being a kindergartner. His life has been full of angst for the past three weeks, and with him being so young, John and I just don't see the rush. I'm just sorry that it took three weeks for me to really see this. At least I know that I did everything as a parent to make this decision, and I have all year to prepare him emotionally and socially for next year.
61 inspiring thoughts:
I taught in public schools for 10 years and know that many times 5 yr olds are NOT READY for Kindergarten, especially boys.
I waited til my boys were 6 and almost 6 to start them in Kindergarten and have never regretted it. They're now 16 and almost 13 and are leaders among their peers!
You poor thing. . .I know that was hard. Do NOT let the enemy beat you up about not doing it sooner!!! You followed and sought the Lord in this. What fun Jonny is going to have with you and Dennis. I bet Dennis will be thrilled!
Brandi
Glad you did what was best for the two of you..he will be soo ready next year!!
((hugs))
My two that I held back in 2nd and 5th for maturity have never regretted it (they are 11th and 12th now). It was hard for ME to hold the second grader back--I requested the meeting about it but CRIED all the way through it. I'm sure the teachers wondered what in the world but to me it felt life changing.
It's hard now but I
don't think you'll regret it. And if he really, really does regret it later you can always homeschool him for a year and let him do two grades.
I agree, it will be better for him in the long run. He may feel badly about it right now, but he'll get over it quick enough. Three weeks isn't really that long. You gave it a good try and now you know for sure, so you won't be second guessing your decision forever.
And maybe this can give he and Dennis an even closer bond!
Wow, what a hard decision. I have to admit the very first time you posted about having issues, I didn't realize that he was only 4. One that hit me I thought WOW!
I think at 4 he was a real trooper to even make it through the past 3 weeks! Besides, he has 13 years of school ahead of him, what rush can there be. You made a decisions that will work for all of you and that's what counts.
Kudos to you for making one of those hard mom decisions :) I sooo think that most younger 5 boys just aren't socially ready. And way better to hold them back now than later when they get that they are acidemically ready and not socialy ready.
Mama's know best! I think it was a great decision. A year makes a huge difference in confidence and social interactions...especially at that age.
Have you thought of placing him in a preschool 2 days a week for a few hours? Maybe in the summer, right before kinder starts next year? That could help him get ready.
T.L. Reed had kindergarten camp this year! I think it helped the kids out a lot. It was 3 weeks during the summer so all the children got to meet each other and the teachers and see what the days were going to be like.
Of course Joaquin is still crying every morning. Brave right up until it's time to leave him at the door and his little eyes start blinking and lips start quivering. Once he looked back and mouthed as he was crying "don't leave". My heart was slowly breaking.
It gives me solace at the end of the school day though when Tammy tells me..."he was find just a few moments after you left".
I totally understand your decision and have been pondering the same myself. Had he run back to me I would've made the same as you.
Enjoy your time home with both your babies now. :)
**M
Mommy knows best! Our William turned 6 in May, and just started kindergarten last week. He fits in versus the size of the other kindergarteners, not to mention socially, etc. so much better than if we had put him in age-appropriate first grade. Of course he's still behind them when it comes to language, but he's only been home 9 months and we're taking appropriate steps to overcome that before he goes to public school next year.
Enjoy this extra year with him, and he'll likely be much happier with this situation in the long run!
I bet you'll sleep better tonight. It is always easier once you finally make a difficult decision. You will be amazed at how much he matures in one year. My son did and he started Kindergarten at 6 and I have never regretted it. Congrats on getting this behind you. I bet Dennis is going to enjoy having him around!
Keri
I think you made the right decision for Johnny. I felt pressured to start my son early too and (he is 12 and doing fine, but is still one of the youngest and smallest and very shy!!!) and wish I had kept him home an extra year.
Good for you! As a teacher there were so many times that I saw parents push there children on even though it was obvious they were not ready. It may be hard now but I'm sure it will pay off in the end. My parents had to do the same with my brother and that one year difference changed him from a struggling student to a straight A one.
It sounds like it was definitely the right decision for your little guy. It is hard to watch them have that much anxiety day after day. Enjoy this extra time with him.
You and John know your son and what's best for him. It must have been a difficult decision but you'll have a happier boy without tears and stress.
Is it too late to sign him up back for preschool? Now that you've moved, you won't be able to go back to his former preschool but there will be good ones in your area. Perhaps the kindergarten teacher can help with referrals.
That must have been a really hard decision to make, and I think you handled it beautifully. I think another year will make a big difference in him. You gave him a good shot to adjust and if you did not, you would have always wondered. You're a great mom!
I hate that you all had to go through this, but at least you know your child and you did the best thing for you and him. : )
Sorry my last comment came out wrong, so I deleted it:)
Christine, my heart hurts with you thinking about how hard it was to watch Jonny go through this process. You did a great job, though. You tried and tried and knew exactly when it was time to make a decision. There are so many options to you if you ever want to have him go to first grade next year. I homeschooled Cheney in kindergarten and it took just an hour or hour and a half a day. You AND Jonny are just going to enjoy Dennis so much while being at home. Maybe Dennis just needed his brother home for this extra year as much as Jonny needed to be home. Praying for you.
Sometimes the little steps are hard to take. I praise you for seeking the best for your child and not feeling the pressure to keep him where you believed that he shouldn't be. I know it is hard...now that is. You wont regret your choice.
Imagine him riding a train. Instead of trying to run to catch up on the caboose, he can just wait until the next one comes along and he will be leading the train on the engine.
As a former kinder teacher I am holding all my kids till they are 6 so I don't think it's a weird decision at all. I think you did great in seeing what your baby needed and then acting on it. Hugs to you. Angel
My daughter went to Kindegarden last year and I was shocked at how much it had changed from my older children . She is 6 now and in a transitional 1st grade class and will go to 1st next year. She definetly needed the extra year to grow. It is a lot for these little ones to process.
Cindi Campbell
You made a good decision and I don`t think it was necessarily bad that you waited those three weeks. You gave it a good go, he wasn`t ready . . . don`t stress about it. He`ll be fine. Better actually, because now he gets that extra year with his mama.
I am glad to see that you did what you thought was best for your son. He is young and waiting a year can only help. As a teacher, I had the opportunity to teach a Readiness-Kinergarten class. The kids were Kindergarten aged but not ready for school yet, socially, emotionally, behaviorally. I only saw positive outcomes from that program. Also as the youngest of 5 kids, I wasn't quite ready for school yet either. Luckily the school I attended had a transitional first grade that I went to inbetween K and 1st. It helped tremendously. Age isn't what trully matters, if a child isn't ready, don't push. It will only cause them to fall further behind and begin to hate school. Eventually many of the kids who were pushed into K ended up staying back in a later grade and that does hurt their self-esteem. I think you made the right choice for your son and your family.
Melissa
I know that must have been so tough! I am proud of you! Jonny will benefit with being home!
In the 1800's the average school age boy started between 8 and 9. So Johnny is AHEAD! :)
Now you have 2 sweeties to fill your day until all the others get home. :)
Christine, you made the right decision. Taking the time you did was a wonderful thing, it meant that you truly thought out things instead of making a decision based on emotions or the opinion of others. I believe that Pre--k may be a mistake. Your son needs this extra time to grow as an Individual surrounded by your love and guidance.
You are an amazing individual and your son is blessed to have you.
God is smiling.
No guilt needed, you gave it a fair amount of time to work itself out. R kept crying and bolting through second grade, but only when mom dropped her off, not for dad...we had a different issue going there LOL!
HUGS TO YOU!
I'm beginning to wonder if I should have waited a year to start Amanda too. (She turned 5 in August) ... We homeschool, so it's not a social thing... But I don't know if she's ready yet. BUT... She loves doing her lessons and would be heartbroken if we stopped.
I am sure you made the right decision for Jonny and your family! You are a wonderful Mom and gave it a try. Who can blame you for that?
HI Christine!
Don't feel at all guilty....Your son might look back on this in a few weeks and have learned that he was not quite ready! It's a hard transition for some kids. He has lots of time!
You made the best choice you could for him!
Hugs
Amy
sometimes being a mom means having to make the hard decisions. i can tell that you sruggled with this decision and you made the choice when it was right for you and jonny. glad you have the support of john. enjoy your time with dennis and jonny and like someone else said, they will probably grow even closer this year!
How nice that you, Dennis and Jonny will have this year together! You did what you thought was best for Jonny both times, that's all we can ever do. Praying you have a blessed year together!
Christine, Don't look back and feel bad that it took you three weeks to make this decision. You wouldn't have known earlier than this. This means, I think, that you really tried to go along with what you thought was the right thing for Jonny. So you saw that what's best actually in this situation is to let him mature for a year. Doesn't mean that you did wrong. Each situation is unique. I was one who posted originally recommending that you pull him and wait, but I'm sure not feeling like 'I was right'. That was my feeling and suggestion, but I really feel like you did just right to first give him a little time since he started. I don't believe that you're in any way showing your son that he's being a quitter, but that you care so much about him that you'll (as you said) make this decision to have him stay home with you and Dennis at this time. Relax and take care of yourself! ..... Just my opinions! ....
Oh Christine. I know this was hard. But, I think you made the right decision. I taught jr. high for 11 years and the boys who were held back a little in Kinder were doing much better at that age. It makes a difference, especially with boys.
I think that was the right decision. His experience so far will just provide him with an idea of what it will be like next year. I think you are being a great mom!
Dianna
I always regretted that both my boys are the youngest in their grade. They are doing well in school but I feel they are being rushed to grow up. To start over
I would have waited a year to put them in. Better to make the decision now then when he is struggling in a few years.
Good for you!
It is hard to choose because there is so much emotion involved and sometimes fear that there will be regrets later. I think you actually gave Jonny a great gift though, by bringing him home for the year. What a treasured time of bonding it will be with his little brother and more peaceful time for you to prepare him for school next year. Blessings blessings blessings to you all.
You will always know that you tried. This "gift of time" will gift all of your lives for years to come. Bravo for you two...you did what was right not easy for your son.
If your heart says it's right then it's right. You are very brave. I made the decision to hold Alihan back (he was 5 he could have gone) but I thought he needed the time. He will be ready next year and it will go very smooth!
when my 2nd son was moved on after kindergarden to first grade. I was shocked. BUT I believed they moved him because he was ready, in my heart I knew he wasnt, but let it go. Looking back I wish I had been brave enough to say no, he isnt ready for 1st grade. He really needed two years of K. Great job to you as a parent.
It's not a horrible thing you did. Lots of times kids aren't ready and it's better that you recognized it now than later, right?
We ended up having to hold my son back this year and I have been beating myself up since his first day this year.... so, I know what you are feeling :(
Yay for Mom! Have a great year with your boys!
I am sure this was a really tough call to make. You are such a good Mom.
I agree with your choice. Like tracie, I kept Aidan out of school until he was solidly 6. Never once regretted it. Children grow up too early anyway. One of my favorite "education type" books is "Better Late Than Early".
I commend you for taking the time to pray about this and see how he might do. It sounds like it is the best decision and I know he'll be thrilled to be home with you and Dennis. They grow up fast enough anyway!
Be at peace with this. You're an awesome mom!
My youngest has a July bday, turned 5 in '07, didn't send him to Kindergarten until this year. He was not ready last year (nor was I). Is doing GREAT and is the leader in his class.
I talk to many teachers and parents with children with summer bdays and they all said the same "I am so glad I didn't send mine or I regret sending mine, wish I had held mine back." I figured odds were with me keeping him home.
We had a great time and I "homeschooled" him last year with lots of field trips and hands on fun stuff. So glad I waited!!!!
I think 4 is very young to go to kindergarten. I think you made a good decision. He'll do just fine when he's ready.
You made the right choice for your son and your family. We all know life is not planned out ~ how boring it would be if it was. It was the right decision to try and the right decision to pull him out. Yay for you Jonny and Dennis to have this year together. Hang in there and have a nice day together tomorrow!
Hi Christine,
Good decision, in my opinion. McKenna will be 6 in Nov and she just started kindergarten and Dima was 6.5 when he started kindergarten last Feb. I'm so sorry you feel badly but I'm sure these past weeks have given Jonny some good experiences and blessings and will make the transition to kindergarten next year that much easier. Enjoy him this year at home. He can be a big helper for Dennis. God Bless.
Laurel
Hi Christine,
Good for you! I know it's so hard to see one of your kiddos in pain (physically or emotionally). He'll be a different kid next year and it will be more fun for him too. You'll have a blast with your little guys this year. =)
Mama's know best (and daddy's too)
Hugs,
Amy
Hey I know that everyone has already said so much great stuff and theres nothing really more to add!!
Just know that a mum knows best!
Good for you. Hearing about it was starting to break my heart too. Probably because he is a little younger than my daughter and she isn't going either. Best to you.
PS: I just re-read my comment and hope it sounded as nice as I meant it.... I mean no judgement. Sometimes when writing something sounds good and then you re-read and want to change it, but too late. :-) You have lots of experience parenting and gave it a good try.
Sometimes, time is the only way to tell the difference between the normal adjustment period and a child who really isn't ready.
You reversed your original decision. I think that is great and demonstrates the type of parenting that I aspire to. Sometimes the original course of action doesn't work out. Sometimes you need to reevaluate.
I think he'd do really well in a Montessori program.
Every child is different. He will learn and grow in this next year and be better equipt for next year. You made the right choice for you Mommy, God Bless You!
Good for you! Not because you pulled him, but because you carefully considered all of the situation and did what you feel is best for him. Awesome job, mom!
Good for you for making the decision that was best for him!
I think you did the right thing. You and your 2 boys will be able to have lots of fun together while the others are at school. Jonny will be a help to you by keeping Dennis company. You might even get a free minute to do something alone like shower or go to the bathroom-haha-Good Work-Mom! I know it was a tough decision.
Don't beat yourself up for those 3 weeks. Now, you and Jonny BOTH know he wasn't ready. If you hadn't tried, either of you could (probably would) have had regrets and doubts about it later.
I am glad you guys are doing what is right for Jonny. I am only sorry he is pulled out because I wish he could have enjoyed school. :-( But he'll have his turn when he is ready :-)
This will be great to have him home another year. :) It will be good for Jonny, Dennis, and you! You go, girl!!!
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