Well, I do disagree with the hand-smacking. I personally believe that developmentally they need to feel free to explore, which is why baby-proofing is such a great thing. I think hitting can stifle that creativity. I also am pro-choice. Anyway, I respect your parenting choices and support you in them. I love your blog and think you're an amazing person, wife, and mother.
Hi Katie. I appreciate your comment but wanted to get back to you with a couple of thoughts. Smacking the back of the hand when a child is getting into something they shouldn't be is not stifling their creativity. It is teaching children at a young age that there are boundaries and some things are off limits. As adults we are not allowed to go onto other people's property without permission, or go into certain areas of a store, or open people's medicine cabinets in their home. I believe that putting a lock on every cupboard is actually stifling their creativity by making everything off limits. By me teaching that only certain things are off limits, Dennis is able to go and explore all he wants in the safe areas I have made accessible to him.
As far as pro-choice, your comment compelled me to share. Besides thinking of the child who was never given a chance to live, I am totally against abortion because of what a woman goes through after she has had one. Can one even imagine what a woman feels after having her child sucked from her body and thrown in a trash can? The guilt, the sadness, the change in hormones, the inability to forgive themselves.... what about the woman afterwards? So many women walk around with this burden on their shoulders for the rest of their lives..... many live in this deep dark well of secrecy. Abortion may seem like the right choice at the time, but I know in my heart that it is not.... no matter what. Abortion kills the most innocent in the world.
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The Kaysers said...
I do have an opinion for you about Dennis. I agree with how you are consistent the way you are raising him and disciplining him. I used to say the things that you say like "good boy" when they make good choices. Then we watched a training video related to our adoption and it opened my eyes to this. I no longer tell my kids they are "good boys/girl" when they obey or make good choices. I simply and happily tell them "good choice". They are good no matter what, because I will love them even when they disobey. This is the point the video made and it made sense to me. It is supposed to convey unconditional love.
I completely agree with you when it comes to an older child (because they need to know that making a bad choice does not make them a bad person), but at age two, I know that Dennis can easily understand "good boy" vs. "You made a good choice." Many mothers not too long ago grew up praising their kids with "good boys" and they turned out all right. ;) To me, this is more a play on words. I know my heart, they know my heart, frankly, I think actions speak louder than words.
How irresponsible to take your child out of school to be your unpaid babysitter, especially when she's only 10 years old. Unbelievable.
Oh, give me a big fat break. I know I am quite the contrary. In a new town, I have not had time to interview babysitters, and frankly, I just don't fee comfortable leaving Dennis with just anyone yet. I know he is in good hands with one of his "older" siblings and he loves and trusts them. I believe in teaching family togetherness, and encouraging a sense of loyalty to each other by helping each other out. Seriously, I might be too emotional, you might mistake me for a loud fire engine on occasion, and I have been known to drive my kids nuts with my silly songs and bugging, but I am not an irresponsible parent. If you would like to submit your resume, I will peruse it my earliest convenience to let you know whether or not you got the job.
Update: I am sorry that I forgot to metntion that Julia didn't stay home with the boys when I went to the dentist. She was in the waiting room there watching them. I won't even let my 13 year old son stay by himself for longer than 20 minutes (yet.)
I'm not sure what is black and white about daycare... unless we are talking about institutional care which we know involves deprivation and neglect. There have been many studies looking at daycare and its impact on children and results find no detrimental effect.
Having grown up in daycare and then becoming a latch-key kid, the daycare issue is black or white for me. But that's for me--- right now, and that doesn't mean that I can't support another family who chooses something else for their family. But yes, having experienced first-hand what it was like not having my mother around because she had to work all the time, I choose to stay home with my kids and be home after school when they walk in the door. What amazes me is how some people think that a child needs their mother most when they are very young....yes this may be in part true, but I feel that a child needs their mother the most when they are in their teens. This is when they are spreading their wings, experimenting, making their own decisions, and they need a parent there to guide them, and provide supervision so that they are not left to their own devices. If only I had someone to hold me more accountable... I wouldn't have done half the stuff I did. Now I realize that this may offend some readers, but again these are my feelings, for my family, from my own experience, where I am sharing on my blog. I am not putting anyone else down, because I do know that a child can grow up in daycare and turn out fine.... I did. I just want to be able to be there and provide for my kids the things that I feel I didn't get as a result of having my own mother work. I want to prevent some of the heart ache I went through growing up, and shelter my kids from experiencing the stuff that I did at least until they are eighteen. I know I can't do this 100%, but I do know that by me being home, I will have more of an influence on my kids than if I was preoccupied with work.
Totally off topic but I would love to hear what your family have been/is/plan to do to off set the rising cost of EVERYTHING. I am curious in case there is something you are doing that I could start doing. I saw where someone posted this on a ttc site. A few ideas have been helpful. You seem to really have it together.
Costs are rising? Hmm, hadn't noticed. LOL. Just kidding. Honestly, we haven't felt it too much because I am really a penny pincher. We do without many things that other people don't bat an eyelash when they purchase it. Seriously, I am very frugal. From switching our debt from promotional rate to promotional rate early on in our marriage to save on interest charges, to calling and getting a credit when our Internet is out for a few hours, to finishing up a deodorant that is broken by molding it back into shape each time I use it, to not buying expensive greeting cards, to always buying Suave shampoo, to wearing hand me downs, and buying generic brands, to washing the dogs myself, to cutting my kids' hair myself, I have managed to keep our budget in check. But honestly, ever since we began tithing, and realized that God is the best manager of our money, we have always been able to have ends meet. We have both found that God does such a better job of handling our finances than we do.
How did it go getting 15 kids to church??
It went well thank you.
What a delightful little personality Dennis is developing into - lively, curious, active, sweet-natured and affectionate. He's a great little boy.I wonder if some sort of soft patch might help protect his eye and allow him more freedom to rip and romp without fear of injury, until he can have the corrective surgeries (I can just see him as Dennis, the Toddler-Pirate! ;-)).
We wondered the same thing. Actually an eye patch would end up rubbing his membranes and cause more discomfort. Plus, he would just pull it off.