Raising girls

Have you ever been called unfair? Have you ever heard, "You don't trust me!"? Have you ever been accused of playing favorites? Do you ever get tired of hearing, "You always take her side Mom!"?

Well welcome to my world.

Did I ever tell you that boys are easier than girls? Well, I stand by my word. Sure boys goof off, sure boys get rowdy, sure boys talk back, but they are not half as emotional as girls are. And being emotional equates to more quarrels amongst themselves, more disagreements over clothes, shoes, hair barrettes, and personal belongings, and more jealousy over who is prettier, who is smarter, who is nicer, who is wearing the coolest clothes, who is skinnier, who has less pimples, who is growing their breasts first, who is more popular, who can ride their bike the fastest, and who is liked more by a particular boy. It is enough to drive a mom bonkers when they have one daughter, but if they have five like me, it is enough to send a mom to the loony bin for a weekend getaway.

Now one could take this post as negative, like I am complaining, but really this is just my outlet. I am informing, and sharing my feelings on my own observations as a mom. I am not saying that I don't love my girls because I do, but gosh, if they are going to bicker and argue and drive me temporarily insane, I think I am entitled to plead my case. ;)

I don't want anyone to think that John and I are raising our daughters or any of our children to act this way, because we are most certainly not. I could easily just not write about this and hide what goes on in our home as if everything is peachy keen. For the most part it is, but that doesn't mean that we don't have our share of arguments or that our children do not fight amongst themselves. They most certainly do, but it has nothing to do with some of them being adopted, it has nothing to do with their being ten of them..... it has everything to do with them being healthy, normal children, and female (just kidding).

Honestly, I don't see them acting any differently than I remember acting with my sister when we were growing up. I just didn't realize how crazy I must have driven my mom with our cat fights.

Just so you can have a clearer picture, let me give you an example of what kind of arguing I am talking about.

One day, Julia won a cool lip gloss tower with 6 or 7 different colors that swung out of the case from her Wednesday night church group. Julia does not really care for makeup (we only let them dress up with it around the house anyways), but all of my other girls really wanted it. I'm not sure what happened but Rachel ended up with it after Anna thought Julia had given it to her. Anna was crying and playing the "I'm the littlest sister so you should give it to me" game, Sveta and Annalyn were taking sides, and Julia was trying to take it back and possibly earn some money by selling it to the highest bidder once she realized how coveted this item was. It was a mess, and if you would have been here, you would have thought it was something much more serious than what it really was. The girls were so upset and frustrated with each other that they were calling each other babies, liars, and I think I heard one of them say that they weren't the others sister anymore. The story alone took me 20 minutes to understand, and before I knew it, I was caught in the middle being called unfair, being accused of taking sides, blah, blah, blah, blah.

It was really ridiculous now that I think about it, and my solution was to take it away, period. Everything else I suggested was not good enough, and even at the end of it I'm sure some of the girls still thought that I was being unfair. To this day, I wonder if I could have handled it in a different way. I still have the lip gloss and I wonder if they could all agree to share it and pick out one color for themselves. Maybe I'll bring it out one of these days.

Thankfully, my daughters have just as many strengths as weaknesses if not more. Sure, having five daughters means every disagreement between them is amplified times five, but it also means that I am blessed five times over. When my girls are getting along, they are a joy to be around. They are helpful to me around the house, and they can disappear for 2 or more hours in one of their bedrooms playing house or Barbies. They like to share each others clothes until they blame each other for not being able to find something, and they go bike riding around the neighborhood sometimes all afternoon.

It is funny how one minute they can be each others best friends and the next they want new roommates. I can't keep up with everything that goes on between them from one minute to the next and I guess that is partly the cause of my own frustration with them. If only I could head off some of their bickering, it would help my sanity a little more. I am hoping that even with all of their bickering it is only bringing them closer together in the end. I always tell them that in the end they will always have each other when everyone else have moved on.