The very first time we decided to adopt back in January 2005, there was no question that we wanted an older child. Sure, it was mainly due to us already having six biological children and not desiring to have another baby, but also partly due to the fact that older children have even less of a chance of being adopted. Because there were no diapers involved with an older child, that appealed to us too.
Now that we actually have our daughters home, life with them now is even better than I had imagined it. Had we adopted our daughters when they were younger, I am not sure we would have been blessed with learning as much as we have about them. A baby can only remember so much, and yes that's good because maybe they won't remember what happened to put them in the orphanage to begin with, but it has been such a Godly experience to have our girls open up to us and learn to trust us at their most vulnerable times in their lives, that I know I would not have gotten these special moments had they been younger.
They each, have such amazing stories, it is hard to not be affected by each detail they share. I have often felt like I was there with them as they relive the pain and the sadness through what they tell me. I am in awe, how strong and how willing each of them came into our home, trusting that life has more to offer than what they had been previously handed. I am honored that they have basically handed me their lives and asked me to fix them. My girls have cried in my arms as they bared their soles, and they have yelled at me in sheer frustration. My girls have questioned my authority finding it hard to believe that an adult can be trusted and my girls have snuggled in my arms free to be a little girl again. They probably think that they are the lucky ones to have a loving family, but it is I who is grateful that I am now a part of their lives. I am so blessed to be their mom.
I want to encourage anyone out there that is thinking about adopting an older child, specifically a daughter, to take that leap of faith and follow your heart.
With that said, I know it may seem ironic that we are now in the process of adopting a much younger, little boy. In addition to the many reasons that my husband shares in his one and only post , I can only add that this is what God has laid upon our hearts at this time. The key again, is following wherever God leads you.
9 inspiring thoughts:
I have to say that I agree with you. It's such a joy to have your adopted children open up to you and share their lives and memories they had before they were yours. Anna, our oldest adopted one, shares with us often about her life before the orphanage and what they had to go through just to survive. It's a very special, magical moment when she opens up to me in particular because she was so afraid (and excited at the same time) of me at first - I think because she'd never had a relationship with a father before. Now she's another one of my "Daddy's girls". I love it!
As always, thanks for sharing.
Take care,
Barry
You are just the perfect Mom, aren't you?
This is beautiful and very true. Adopting an older child is very rewarding, but it is also VERY hard. I think may people do not realize how hard it will be. I myself did not know. I am thankful we did it and now we are doing it again... so yes, there are many wonderful blessings that have come out of it... but boy was it hard and some days it still is . Thanks for sharing!
This post was very touching.
Denise, with tears in my eyes
I can't get this post off of my mind today.
I was thinking about how when M & G share their stories with me my heart becomes so heavy. I get angry that they had to endure so much and I want so badly to be able to erase it all... and yet I know that their story is so much apart of them and that God will use all of it for His Glory. I cannot change what happened to them. I can only love them now and try and help them heal from it all.
I have been thinking all day about how if they had come as babies I would never have known their story. Just like you stated in your post. It really moved me to think about how wonderful adopting them at 8 and 6 has been. I have often thought that they have changed me more than I could have ever imagined.
Thanks for sharing this. I needed to read this today.
I am so glad that you are willing to trust what you hear God whispering to your hearts. It is hard to go back to little people stages once you have moved on to the older ages with your other children. I know God will sustain you and give you the energy you need keep up with your new addition. Not like you won't have lots of help too!
Older children are rewarding and challenging at the same time. What age is the little boy that you are going to adopt?
Thank you for this! :-)
It's funny, you started out adopting older and are going younger. I started out younger and might eventually go older. It is in your heart. There is nothing you can do about it.
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